@mrsbear wrote:
@Mominohio wrote:
@Anita Hug wrote:
Any "friend" who forcefully tried to tell me anything would no longer be my friend. Friends should respect the wishes of eash other even if they do not agree.
I have a cell phone, but it is only for emergencies. I do not keep it on, and I only give the number out to those closest to me. If someone needs to reach me, all they have to do is call my home number - and leave a message. I'll call back as soon as I can.
When did we as a society get to the place where it is an expectation that others be available 24/7? My daughter once drove to my house in a panic because I didn't answer her texts right away. I had been working in my garden, then came in to take a bath. If I'm actually expecting a call, I'll keep a phone nearby. But if I'm not, don't expect me to drop everything to respond. I'm not talking days, I generally get back to people within a couple of hours, and I make no apology for having my own life and priorities.
I couldn't have written this better!
There are people who want no part of being tied to phones, cell or land lines. And there is nothing wrong with it, as long as they are willing to accept the responsibility and the consequences that come from not being easily reached.
My cell lives in the car, and I don't even look at it for a week at a time, sometimes. I, too, won't apologize for not being tied to the phone. Leave a message and be done with it. If I miss out on something, that is my thing to deal with. Same goes for the OP's friend. She's a big girl, let her deal with things on her own, in her own way, and let her deal with what she misses because of her phone habits.
I used to get chastised by friends who would email me and not get answered. I used to go months and never check email. But there is indeed this expectation today, that if one contacts someone by call, email, or text, there should be a response within minutes. Well, don't hold your breath with me!
This society is way too involved and dependent on technology. Most people not only don't WANT to live with less or none of it, but I don't think would be able to if they had to.
May I ask you a question-I don't mean anything personal, but does this attitude not seem very self-centered? I often read complaints on this board about timely responses to things like gifts or invitations, rude young people, nasty seniors etc. Does the attitude of "I'll answer when and if I feel like it" not seem egocentric to you?? I also note a general defiance with many and a hostility toward the person/s who have had the audacity to text, email, or call on your cell phone. Yet these same people would not hesitate to complain if their wants and needs are not attended to immediately. In our doctor's office, patients want everything now and if I tried to tell them not to expect a call back until I was good and ready to do it, I'd be out of a job!! Shouldn't the same courtesy be afforded to those in our personal lives too?
@mrsbear
Sorry I didn't respond to you sooner, but somehow missed your post/question until just now.
I think I understand exactly what you are saying and asking here. And yes, I do think it is self centered to not be reasonably available to respond to things that are of an important or urgent nature. But we really can't control what others do.
What we can control is how we react and what we put ourselves through to do for them.
People have every right to be idiots. They can be lazy, irresponsible, needy, self centered or any number of other less than desirable traits. The sooner other people quit enabling those behaviors by doing for them, following up on them, catering to them, the sooner they will either sink or swim in the areas they are lacking.
I'm just old enough to know that all this constant and immediate connection to the entire world really isn't necessary for many people (especially older people) and life did and does go on with or without it.
I think what you often see is the lack of moderation. You get some people who won't ever see the ease some of this great technology can bring to their lives pitted against those that can't stop using it for even one hour to enjoy a nice dinner and conversation. It's an all or nothing thing for many people, and where the true value in all of it lies, is somewhere in the middle.
But in general, many of the people I know are placing unreasonable expectations on others as to how connected everyone 'must' or 'should' be these days, and the time in which responses are expected. And many of them are not young people.
Many of the middle aged or older people I know that do indeed get deeply attached to their constant use of technology and expectations that everyone be connected started because of their jobs/businesses, where it is indeed necessary today to be connected and timely. But they carried that frantic pace that is often necessary for the business world, into their personal world as well, and can't seem to shut it off, or cut it back. It's like the are on full speed constantly.
I have a niece and nephew that are in their young twenties and don't know any different life than being tied to their phones. Both (at different times) put away all their technology for one month (except for work hours and work related projects during those work hours). They said they couldn't believe how different their lives were, and how much they loved it. They were amazed at the time they had for other things, the socialization that they had with people in person and using only a phone call to reach those that they couldn't see in person.
In my opinion, when the cell phones were just for talking (then later texting) it was about communication. When the internet was added, it became an all consuming, time eating, habit forming task that takes many people almost completely out of the real world.
Not everyone, of course, but if you have lived before this technology existed, and live now, and see how people have changed their behavior, how they spend their time, how difficult is it to communicate personally with them when their head is buried in the phone, how distracted they are by this little electronic box, it is no wonder many people just say no to it.
Like most things in life, it has a varying level of value to each person individually, but it does seem that when people admit to it having little value in their lives, those who do find value in it, get very insulted. Perhaps that goes both ways.
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