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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor

@Elom  I got him 3 choc chip cookies

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor

I'm glad I did the dinner. I don't know how many groceries he has in his home. He can't get to the grocery store without being driven, and he hasn't asked for a ride

Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,253
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor

he wants to pay his way and that is nice. just accept the money. you will have many choices as to what to do with it........use it to get gasoline, donate it to charity, donate it to the local center he attends if they accept donations. you could also put it away and keep it for when you yourself may be in the same situation in the future and need to hire ubers or taxis.

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"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein
Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,577
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor


@cherry wrote:

He is a wonderful man and is 90 years old. His licence was taken away, until he gets tested by the state. He had a minor fender bender. We have never noticed bad driving on his part, but that isn't our problem

 

Mr Cherry has volunteered to take him where he needs to go. So far ,it is only a one way trip to the senior center. It cant be more than a 5 mile round trip, and he gets a ride home.

 

He just insists on giving my husband money, every week for gas. We don't want it, and have refused to take it. He then throws it into the car, as he departs. I know he isn't hard up, but neither are we, and we don't want repayment

 

He and is wife were so wonderful, to us, many years ago, when  Mr Cherry had cancer. We have never forgotten  their goodness, and kindness

 

I want to put it into an envelope and stick it into his mailbox, but, I am afraid he might be offended by this. Can you offer a suggestion?


hold on the money 

 

 

 

relatives can come out the woodwork and claim all sorts of stuff,

 

maybe label the envelope? 

 

 

 

 Paranoid perhaps but money does things 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,168
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor

[ Edited ]

I would ask him to go to lunch with you...do u know if he has anyone who is looking after him? Wondered who gets his groceries etc since he can't drive. Paying his own way and not being beholden to anyone is important to his generation. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor

He has no children, his wife is dead, and his brother is in a nursing hom

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,501
Registered: ‎03-10-2013

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor

Let him give you money if he insists. It’s his nature not to take advantage or be a burden to anyone. 

 

My mom was the same way (would have been 90 June10). If I picked up something from the store even if she didn’t ask for her she insisted paying. 

 

I get get it now. Don’t deprive him of wanting to do something nice for you since you did something nice for him. Believe it or not, there are still people out there who don’t want “hand outs”.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor


@cherry wrote:

He is a wonderful man and is 90 years old. His licence was taken away, until he gets tested by the state. He had a minor fender bender. We have never noticed bad driving on his part, but that isn't our problem

 

Mr Cherry has volunteered to take him where he needs to go. So far ,it is only a one way trip to the senior center. It cant be more than a 5 mile round trip, and he gets a ride home.

 

He just insists on giving my husband money, every week for gas. We don't want it, and have refused to take it. He then throws it into the car, as he departs. I know he isn't hard up, but neither are we, and we don't want repayment

 

He and is wife were so wonderful, to us, many years ago, when  Mr Cherry had cancer. We have never forgotten  their goodness, and kindness

 

I want to put it into an envelope and stick it into his mailbox, but, I am afraid he might be offended by this. Can you offer a suggestion?


 

Keep the money.  It makes him feel good to give it to your husband, so just let it be.  If money was an issue for him, I would probably have a different answer.  But you said he isn't hard up, so my advice is to just accept it graciously.  And don't make him throw it on the floor.  He's probably embarrassed by the situation, and being able to pay your husband allows him some dignity.

 

(Your husband is very nice to do this, btw.  It sounds as though you have a good neighbor and that you are good neighbors too!)

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor

[ Edited ]

When my husband had cancer surgery, he was the first one to come over, to offer  to help us. He and his wife started to pray for his recovery, at the instant they heard he was ill

 

I can't even begin to tell you how much it meant to me, then, and it still does ,today. I feel indebted to them, more than they will ever know

 

I will just tell Mr Cherry to thank him, and make sure he reminds him, what a good man ,and neighbor, he has always been to us

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,217
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor


@cherry wrote:

I'm glad I did the dinner. I don't know how many groceries he has in his home. He can't get to the grocery store without being driven, and he hasn't asked for a ride


@cherry   There's your answer.  Accept his money and give it back to him in the form of some prepared meals.