Community Chat

[NC Bandwagon]

What should you do if someone on a message board verbally attacks you, keeps accusing you of something you didn't say and won't believe you no matter what? What should you do when a group of message board people online verbally gang up on you?

[ive been framed]

That sounds like cyber bullying, NC Bandwagon. I'd be frustrated, but wouldn't let it ruin my day. There are mean people everywhere in life and as we all know, the internet and sites like this one are a playground for the immature and cowards to come and get their thrills at the expense of others rather anonomously. I would be glad I don't deal with them face to face. So should they

[lulu2]

No message board would be important enough to me to accept being verbally abused.

Move on to another.

[RedTop]

I agree with moving on, and let them find someone else to bully.

[NC Bandwagon]

Okay, I'll try that. Thanks for the advice.

[kittymomNC]

I've learned that you cannot reason with unreasonable people, so why waste your time trying? I think some posters have an "agenda" when they make very negative posts, and it is just to see what reaction they can get. The best way to stop it is not to react at all-if they don't get the attention they're seeking, they'll usually just drop out.

Ignore those, and just enjoy posting with those people who are capable of having a reasonable discussion...fun, thoughtful, informative, etc. There are lots of those here.

[hckynut]

On 7/8/2014 NC Bandwagon said:

What should you do if someone on a message board verbally attacks you, keeps accusing you of something you didn't say and won't believe you no matter what? What should you do when a group of message board people online verbally gang up on you?

Same thing I always did when I was the Referee in ice hockey games. Used to call me everything but my first name and not even "hey ref". Needless to say I cannot type in those words here or this post would disappear in a hurry.

What did I do? Did what I have done most of my life and that was "tune them out/ignore them" or any words one chooses to not pay any attention to them. It was/is harder in real life especially when I had to finish the games, but to do that job it pretty much is a requirement to be able to ignore, or as some say " not to have rabbit ears and hear everything".

Same with any type of public forum, I ignore those that have not so nice things to say to me or about me. I've been around this Bulletin Board for over 14 years now and when I first started here you should have seen the things I was called by some of the ladies here. I was one of the few males and some did everything they could to get me to go elsewhere.

There were times that I would give it some thought and then I would revert back to my referee way of doing things. That was ignore them or thank them for their thoughts about me. It doesn't make any difference if it is "one person or a group of persons", ignore them. If you aren't able to do that and it bothers you a lot? I see only 1 other option for you.

It is unfortunately the way of the world be it is real life or on any social media now in existence.

[agnesann]

I am sorry this has happened to you. If it is happening here at this community, there is an "ignore user" feature. Not sure how well that works. What I did was read and observe here for a long time, before I decided to join in at all. You can still do that, if you choose and you will notice definite patterns of behavior to try to avoid or ignore. Such as those for whom the shopping channel and/or this community has become a very significant part of their life. Most just enjoy the social interaction in positive ways. Some will try to control what is aired, the hosts' behaviors, other posters' comments - even the management of this site. All pointless, of course, other than creating static. There are fans and anti-fans who are very vocal and defensive in their views. Some seem as though they could be paid plants of QVC or certain vendors, hosts, etc. - or by their competitors who want to promote their products here on the sly. There are also a few contrarians who just seem to enjoy playing the devil's advocate with anyone and everyone over anything at all. If you've made a reasonable comment only to be met by scorn, a quick view of their posting history will usually reveal it's nothing personal - just business as usual for those posters. Easy to laugh those off. They are comical to me, though too many will take the bait. There are naturally a few vicious trolls too that are best ignored. If you are being followed and harassed, you can report this behavior by using the feedback button or calling your report in. I honestly don't know how helpful that would be, but I've read of others doing so.

A good tip, I think in general, is to state your view and just move along. Unless you've been honestly misunderstood and you wish to better explain yourself... because some will only keep hammering their own views back at you, as though their entire self-worth depends on "winning". They don't seem to realize that their personal attacks and other bullying has already compromised any credibility their argument may have had. Beware the passive-aggressive know-it-alls, too, who paste the after their condescending, dismissive remarks, usually accompanied by "have a great day". Some just thrive on being a PITA - don't take it personally.

Welcome and I hope you'll enjoy yourself. There are mostly kind and helpful posters here.

[ROMARY]

I usually 'correct myself' by editing when certain points are brought up........maybe what I posted needed much more explanation. That's usually the case (with me). Anyway, if what you post (your viewpoints, etc.) is genuine and nicely stated, just 'forget' what the other posters say to and about you. All kinds of humans living in one big world.......there are bound to be varying viewpoints of just about every single subject. (Actually, every single subject)

[NC Bandwagon]

Thank you for all the advice, everyone. I can be fairly thick-skinned. I just wanted to know the best to react to these kinds of things so as to minimize the drama. Not always possible, I know, but these tips help a lot.

@hckynut, I respect that a man is posting here. It's nice to see things from the male perspective.