Community Chat

[gidgetgh]

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@depglass wrote:

I totally agree with your decision to sell the house.  This was not an impulsive decision, but very well reasoned out.  Just be aware that building plans almost always get stalled and you may have to find interim living quarters if you go ahead with the sale right now.

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@depglass -I won't put our current house on the market until I close on the new house.  

[Shanus]

@gidgetgh   Apologies, I didn't mean to offend you.

[gidgetgh]

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@Shanus wrote:

@gidgetgh   Apologies, I didn't mean to offend you.

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@Shanus - don't worry about it, you didn't offend me!  I say several things in the singular now, but not the house.  It's too connected to both of us. 

[on the bay]

@gidgetgh -

My mother lived in a 55 and over community that had many activities, some transportation.

However, her house had just as many problems and maintenance issues as any house and became too much for her to handle alone. They did have "property development" which were supposed to handle routine repairs but did not always solve the problem.She also had a maintenance contract she bought but still relied on family  to help with many things.

Also the outside was mowed, snow plowed but not the immediate shrubs, bushes, around the house. That was the residents responsiblity. Then there are the hoa fees.

I found the over 55 communities no more easier nor stress or money free to handle then any house.

I hope I am not discouraging you from what seems to be a happy fit for you, just wanted you to be aware of all the issues that can be the same with

a house in an over 5 community as any house.

The advantage is they seem to be safer, and appearances of houses and part of yards are kept up well; some things are covered such as roofs in many communities, and there are many sources for socialization and activities. Some have stores that are nearby or even in walking distance.

[gidgetgh]

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@on the bay wrote:

@gidgetgh -

My mother lived in a 55 and over community that had many activities, some transportation.

However, her house had just as many problems and maintenance issues as any house and became too much for her to handle alone. They did have "property development" which were supposed to handle routine repairs but did not always solve the problem.She also had a maintenance contract she bought but still relied on family  to help with many things.

Also the outside was mowed, snow plowed but not the immediate shrubs, bushes, around the house. That was the residents responsiblity. Then there are the hoa fees.

I found the over 55 communities no more easier nor stress or money free to handle then any house.

I hope I am not discouraging you from what seems to be a happy fit for you, just wanted you to be aware of all the issues that can be the same with

a house in an over 5 community as any house.

The advantage is they seem to be safer, and appearances of houses and part of yards are kept up well; some things are covered such as roofs in many communities, and there are many sources for socialization and activities. Some have stores that are nearby or even in walking distance.

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@on the bay - this would be a small community, with about 30 houses.  They handle all the yard stuff, but you are on your own with anything regarding the house. The HOA fee, for the yard work, was reasonable enough.  There wouldn't be any senior transportation or clubhouse or office  or anything like that.   Our area really doesn't have communities like that unlesss it's assisted living. 

[Bri369]

@gidgetgh 

The good thing with the new house is that it's close to all the regular places you visit and you know the area.

[CelticCrafter]

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@Still Raining wrote:

Your heart will tell you what you really want.

Just for me, after seeing others in over 55 places, I choose a regular house.  Feel your way on this.

Your cheerleaders will be here wishing you the best.

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I would have to think long and hard about that and I would still say no to an adult community.

[MomCat]

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@Still Raining wrote:

Your heart will tell you what you really want.

Just for me, after seeing others in over 55 places, I choose a regular house.  Feel your way on this.

Your cheerleaders will be here wishing you the best.

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I know people who live in those communities and are very happy.  This poster sounds like she has thought it through.  Good for her!  Sadly, I moved into an over 55 about 4 years ago and was so depressed, I had to move within a year.  I can't explain it, but I knew immediately it wasn't for me.  I felt like I had checked into a nursing home, which was ridiculous because this was an upscale community with a lot to offer.  I even paid more and lived on the golf course.  A horrible time for me because I left a beautiful home that I thought was too much for me to take care of.  All the down sizing to move almost did me in!  And, I had movers.  It's hard enough getting older without making a mistake this big.  I should have listened to friends who tried to tell me not to do it.  These people know me better than I know myself.  I'm in a smaller house now in a small rural neighborhood with mostly older people.  We all look out for each other.  Love it!  I'm just not good with a lot of structure and rules.  I accept how different we are from each other.  I'm always happy for those who get it right!     

[Mom2Dogs]

@gidgetgh   Again, my sympathies for your loss.  I do understand your situation...sort of...my dh is 14 years older than I am...he is in excellent health but your worry is the same worry/concern that I would have if DH dies before I do.

The house is 1900 sq ft, which is not huge but is two floors and if I am alone I would want a 1 story with someone to do the yard work (mow and blow snow) for me.  There are just things that I would not be able to do on my own.  If you feel good about the move then go ahead, and since you are not ready to sign on the dotted line today, you do have time to change your mind.

I have wanted to move for years but we have done so much work on this house that we would not recoup our investment.  I don't mind some change and the house we own was not my choice, DH owned it when we married and we're still here 40+years later.

Take care 

[shoptilyadropagain]

This sounds like it is a good move (no pun intended) for you.  I agree that major decisions shouldn't be made right away after a spouse's death but this is something you've been thinking about for a couple of years and it sounds like you've investigated things thoroughly.  Best of luck with the eventual move and the selling of your house.