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10-06-2020 09:40 AM
So sorry for your loss. Losing your husband must be like a big part of you has gone and the grief shows how much you loved him. I've lost parents which is hard but not the same I'm sure. As for moving, I have moved many times in my life but realize this is a big step for you. The 55+ community would be a fresh start with everything new and low maintenance. It's the next chapter for you and that's what you have to think about now, you. Find 3 good realtors and interview them - they make a good commission so ask questions and research each ones track record. Maybe have someone with you to get a second opinion. Interest rates are low at the moment so demand is high for houses. You may want to get quotes on movers as well, they can differ tremendously. Hope this isn't overwhelming and if it's all too much then wait until you are ready, there will be another new home for you in the future. Take care of yourself and good luck and happiness for the future.
10-06-2020 09:43 AM
It sounds like you're making the right decision.
It's never easy to leave a house that held good memories for you, but worrying about repairs and upkeep is draining.
10-06-2020 09:44 AM
Your heart will tell you what you really want.
Just for me, after seeing others in over 55 places, I choose a regular house. Feel your way on this.
Your cheerleaders will be here wishing you the best.
10-06-2020 09:47 AM
@gidgetghOf course it doesn't feel normal because your normal was pulled away.
You don't have the experience with this and so you stumble along reaching out for this or reaching out for that, trying to find balance.
Trying to adapt to this new way of life.
Yet here you are still analyzing what is best-the pros and cons. That is strength.
I don't get into the time heals all wounds because the wounds are so fresh and raw and are a part of your life. They will always be there.
This is the key-we don't eventually dismiss the hurt because it is part of our lives. The good, the sad, the devastating losses. All make up our story and no part is more important than any other part.
I do hope for some peace for you; for your realization that this tragic turn of events is not to be dismissed but to be recognized as a part of your life. Your life. Nobody elses life.
I think it is going to be helpful that the new home will take some time so that you do not have to rush into it; that can cause doubts and misgivings.
It is very difficult to find one's way when the experience happens for the first time.
So take the foggy days and be at one with them.
Take the initiative, as you are doing, to investigate new living options.
It is all part of your life.
I sincerely wish you all the best; be well.
10-06-2020 09:49 AM
Sounds like a good decision for you although IMO 2,200 sq. ft. is a lot for 1 person to take care of. An "active adult" community is a good choice if you like to take part in various activities. Good luck in whatever you decide.
@kaydee50 - I know it sounds big, but it's 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, a small study and small mud room next to the garage exit. The living room/eating area is pretty large and that's where most of the square footage is coming from. It's actually a really nice size, though it sounds too big.
@kaydee50 The size sounds just right to me! Taking care of enough space so that you don't have things crammed in is a lot easier trust me! You'll have space to breath and move around and make it yours. Probably larger closet and bathrooms. . ,enough storage.
Set up a room for hobbies, another "sitting room" or an office, which is wonderful for keeping paperwork and mail corralled!
I think it sounds like something to look forward to. You sound like you have your head on, and time will go faster than you think!
10-06-2020 10:14 AM
@gidgetgh I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine what you must be feeling!
This may seem a little strange, but I sort laid out a plan for this very thing in my head a long time ago. In 2009 my husband was in a tree-cutting accident and broke his back. Thankfully, with surgery he made a full recovery, but a few inches difference and he could have been killed or lost his mobility. Our home is rural and fairly isolated, and I knew I would never want to live there alone, so I started thinking about other communities in our area where I might want to live. I have several in mind, depending on age/health/economics, should it ever become necessary. We don't have children, so I'm definitely on my own if it happens!
You need to do what is best for YOU! Sounds like you are taking good steps toward your goal, and handling all this with strength and grace. Your husband would be proud!
10-06-2020 10:20 AM
I think it's a good decision whether it be the complex you have in mind or another. Think it through and look at others too.
@faeriemoon - in our area, there aren't very many of these communities. The complex I looked at is on the other side of the county and they are just about all sold and I'm just not familiar with the area.
And I want to stay in this county if I can. Really favorable property taxes and this area is home for me.
I did go to another complex about 8 miles, away two weekends ago. 55+ Community. They only had 3 left. Tiny living rooms and they had a second floor and a basement, I am done with 2nd floors and basements.
It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this even before your loss. I think it will be a wonderful new start with fewer things to worry about. My condolences to you.
10-06-2020 10:21 AM
@gidgetgh I think you are being very wise. Your home, now, is larger than 2.200 square feet so to downsize to 2,200 sq, feet is perfect. You will not feel like you are living in a small box. It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought. The timeline for your new development is perfect and it still gives you more than enough time to adjust to your decision. The only counsel I would give is to wait for a number of units to be completed until you make the choice of which one you would like. It's no fun living in a construction zone while waiting for the remainders on your street to be completed.
Whatever decision you make, it will be the right decision for you. Trust in that knowledge!
10-06-2020 10:22 AM
I have three friends in your same position. My friends all lived out in the country (which includes septic systems, wells, etc) and it just got to be too much to keep up on their own. One friend did find a condo in a 55+ community and made the move. She is so happy that she did. Unfortunately in our area those types of communities are very limited and the other two friends have not found the perfect fit and are still dealing with large lawns to mow in the summer, driveways to plow in the winter and all the upkeep of older two story houses all on their own. I think you’re making the right decision.
10-06-2020 10:31 AM
@gidgetgh : I think the big maintenance job on your house/ roof has given you a lot to think about. As usual, you give important matters much thought. Through your years of purging you were preparing for just this time.
It's a great time to be a seller. To find a brand new, single family home nearby where maintenance chores will be handled by the HOA is wonderful. The plans you have outlined are really good. Keep looking in your area to see how other homes compare and continue to prepare your house for sale as you are able. Do as little to your present home as possible. Homes everywhere are selling right away. DS just made the best offer on a condo but lost out to a cash buyer, as I warned him might happen. Your home will be selling with a new roof- a big plus.
I think you will be happier if you are in a new home next spring. As always, I wish you Blessings and much good luck on your journey. Moving was no picnic for me in 2018, but like you, although different circumstances, it had to be done and was not going to get easier (or cheaper) by waiting. So glad I downsized to a home that's great for me and you will be, too. No need to put your life on hold any more. This is something to look forward to, while staying where you are : you will constantly be worrying about how to handle all the maintenance. Your precious memories will always be with you, no matter your address. Having the ability with a new build to choose your lot and floor plan is really great. That's not something that was an option for me- how I wish that it was! New adventures await, my friend.
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