Community Chat

[SharkE]

Good market out there right now. I'd get out from under it, taxes, insurance, maintenance, trying to get people to show up when they're suppose to, etc.

Hassle free living is way to go. Patio home. where there is a handyman to handle leaks, breakdowns, etc.

[Shanus]

@gidgetgh   I'm not sure if I expressed my sincere sympathy for the loss of your husband. It is indeed a major life change as is selling a house and relocating.

Of course, you're the only one who knows if you're ready for such a huge decision. The only thing that bothered me is you still referred to it as "OUR house". There's still an emotional connection to it. 

[Vivian]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have some idea of what you're considering. My husband has Alzheimer's and he is worsening, as expected. I don't know how long he has but I have given a great deal of thought about what to do when the invitable comes.

i know I cannot take care of my home alone. We live in the woods, have a well and a septic tank, plus other gadgets and gizmos required for living in a beautiful but challenging setting. I know I will have to sell my home at some point.

To the original poster, I'd say that whatever you decide it will not be a rash decision. You've been considering it for months. You're fortunate that you'll have a 55+ active adult community so close to you. There are none where I live. You have more time to reflect on what to do. Go back to that 55+ development a fourth time if need be. No life decision is easy but you can do this.

[NicksmomESQ]

@gidgetgh  I feel for you. It was  very difficult to lose your DH.It's hard to stay in the house by yourself with all those memories. Yet those memories make it hard to leave too.

  Only you know what's best for you. The new home sounds lovely. But you have to be ready to go. Take your time. Search your heart.It will lead you to where you need to be.

  If you decide to move. Do what a previous poster said. Walk through the House & relive your precious memories. Then pack them up & take them with you.

  Love & memories live forever in the hearts of those who carry them.

  I wish you peace & happiness.💐

[ECBG]

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Greeneyedlady21]

@gidgetgh I understand grief, after my two major losses within the last two years. Especially the additional part of also being a caregiver. I can never understand your grief, everyone's is different.

I believe in forces outside the physical realm and beyond our understanding. Who knows, maybe the house issues happened as a way to send you a sign. And the way everything is aligning with the place you like, and with how you are so drawn to it.

I remember your posts when you were taking care of your husband-they showed a loving, confident, take charge woman. I know how grief rattles the foundation of all of that. But I think your husband's spirit will be with you wherever you go. And that he wants this for you. Trust your gut, and the signs along the way. 

[stevieb]

@gidgetgh  A wise choice. Hope you stick to your guns and that one of the options works our for you, Shortly after my father passed away, my mother contemplated moving. I think she might have done so but for the bad advice of a couple of basically stupid (and self-serving) realtors. Anyway, she stayed put and the longer she stayed put the more wedded she became to staying put. Now, the house has many needs she can't afford to fix and is too large, on multi-levels, and presents daily challenges to her limited motility. Make the move while you still can and while you are motivated.

[geezerette]

I lost my husband about two and a half years ago, so I know exactly how you feel.  I still feel like I'm in a fog--that it's not real and can't comprehend he won't be coming back.  I won't say it gets "easier" as time goes on, but you do start to get used to it.

I've always heard the time limit on making major decisions was one year, which would fit in with your time line.  You're going about this in a calculated and logical manner, and you have thought about moving even before your husband passed.  So it's not a spur-of-the-moment whim.

Will it be difficult?  You bet.  But some aspects of moving will make your life easier.  And you have time to think about it before signing a contract and then, before your new place is ready.  But it will also give you something to look forward to, which can be a good thing for you right now.

Take care.❤️

[depglass]

I totally agree with your decision to sell the house.  This was not an impulsive decision, but very well reasoned out.  Just be aware that building plans almost always get stalled and you may have to find interim living quarters if you go ahead with the sale right now.

[gidgetgh]

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@Shanus wrote:

@gidgetgh   I'm not sure if I expressed my sincere sympathy for the loss of your husband. It is indeed a major life change as is selling a house and relocating.

Of course, you're the only one who knows if you're ready for such a huge decision. The only thing that bothered me is you still referred to it as "OUR house". There's still an emotional connection to it. 

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@Shanus - of course there is still a connection. It is OUR house and will be until it's sold.