Community Chat

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

My sister called earlier to see if I wanted to go with them to my cousin's for a small BBQ for the 4th. I was honest and said I did not want to go to cousin's place, thanks but no thanks.

2 years ago on the 4th at my sister's cousin was there.  Hadn't seen her in a good 5 yrs.

DH had died at the end of May, 40ish days earlier.  1st thing out of her mouth was a remark about me being out so soon. 2nd she made a snarky remark about my 40 yr. old niece wearing a sundress with spaghetti straps (it was 95 degrees and like a sauna, she looked fine), the 2 and 3 yr. olds were in a small wading pool on the shaded deck.  The were just giggling and jumping in and out. The adults sat close and were glad to get splashed with cold water. Cousin was 12 ft. away, shorts and flip flops, afraid of getting wet. She also complained about the deck getting wet. Ah, what do you think happens when it rains.

Everyone kept quiet and didn't say boo to her. Then lunch. She started on the perils of hotdogs, deviled eggs, etc. I took a 1/2 cup of potato salad and she reminded me it had mayo in it. Yogurt was better. That did it for me. I held out my hand and told her I wanted to see her badge since she was the food police.

She just looked at me. Now this woman told my sister she orders Lindt Truffles by the 100 count and they are gone in less than 2 weeks. She lives alone and doesn't share them with anyone by her own admission. Yeah, that 1/2 of pot salad is bad.

Nope, staying home.

[JYWilliams]

@CrazyKittyLvr2  I have a cousin that is a black cloud walking. She has nothing nice to say about anything or anybody. Every other word that comes out of her mouth is a cuss word. (no matter who's around or where she's at) Being around her kept me so up tight and in a bad mood that I had to cut her off and have never looked back.

[luvmybeetle]

@CrazyKittyLvr2   Wow, I don't blame you.  That would have been a bummer of a day.  

[DrakesMomma]

@CrazyKittyLvr2  - Good for you!! 

On a related note, I will not be going to my mother-in-law's for the 4th.  After 34 years together with her son I am still not her family and she treats me that way.  Not subjecting myself to that for one more minute of my life.  

[Kachina624]

@CrazyKittyLvr2    Are you going to let one jerk ruin what could be a nice family-oriented day?  I'd go and totally ignore her; make a comment similar to food police if appropriate. 

[PreKteacher]

I wouldn't go either! I hope you find a nice alternative for celebrating Independence Day. 

[mom2four0418]

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@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

My sister called earlier to see if I wanted to go with them to my cousin's for a small BBQ for the 4th. I was honest and said I did not want to go to cousin's place, thanks but no thanks.

2 years ago on the 4th at my sister's cousin was there.  Hadn't seen her in a good 5 yrs.

DH had died at the end of May, 40ish days earlier.  1st thing out of her mouth was a remark about me being out so soon. 2nd she made a snarky remark about my 40 yr. old niece wearing a sundress with spaghetti straps (it was 95 degrees and like a sauna, she looked fine), the 2 and 3 yr. olds were in a small wading pool on the shaded deck.  The were just giggling and jumping in and out. The adults sat close and were glad to get splashed with cold water. Cousin was 12 ft. away, shorts and flip flops, afraid of getting wet. She also complained about the deck getting wet. Ah, what do you think happens when it rains.

Everyone kept quiet and didn't say boo to her. Then lunch. She started on the perils of hotdogs, deviled eggs, etc. I took a 1/2 cup of potato salad and she reminded me it had mayo in it. Yogurt was better. That did it for me. I held out my hand and told her I wanted to see her badge since she was the food police.

She just looked at me. Now this woman told my sister she orders Lindt Truffles by the 100 count and they are gone in less than 2 weeks. She lives alone and doesn't share them with anyone by her own admission. Yeah, that 1/2 of pot salad is bad.

Nope, staying home.

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Is this the same person that you wrote about last year?

[Porcelain]

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Difficult people are even more difficult to handle on their home turf. Their place, their rules. I think you made a sensible decision.

Maybe next year it will be a bigger gathering at a different relative's place and it'll be easier to avoid the cousin and/or slip away when she starts throwing her verbal darts. Between now and the next event you'll have plenty of time to polish up your snappy comebacks and different variations on, "How about you mind your own business, darling?"

[nana59]

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@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

My sister called earlier to see if I wanted to go with them to my cousin's for a small BBQ for the 4th. I was honest and said I did not want to go to cousin's place, thanks but no thanks.

2 years ago on the 4th at my sister's cousin was there.  Hadn't seen her in a good 5 yrs.

DH had died at the end of May, 40ish days earlier.  1st thing out of her mouth was a remark about me being out so soon. 2nd she made a snarky remark about my 40 yr. old niece wearing a sundress with spaghetti straps (it was 95 degrees and like a sauna, she looked fine), the 2 and 3 yr. olds were in a small wading pool on the shaded deck.  The were just giggling and jumping in and out. The adults sat close and were glad to get splashed with cold water. Cousin was 12 ft. away, shorts and flip flops, afraid of getting wet. She also complained about the deck getting wet. Ah, what do you think happens when it rains.

Everyone kept quiet and didn't say boo to her. Then lunch. She started on the perils of hotdogs, deviled eggs, etc. I took a 1/2 cup of potato salad and she reminded me it had mayo in it. Yogurt was better. That did it for me. I held out my hand and told her I wanted to see her badge since she was the food police.

She just looked at me. Now this woman told my sister she orders Lindt Truffles by the 100 count and they are gone in less than 2 weeks. She lives alone and doesn't share them with anyone by her own admission. Yeah, that 1/2 of pot salad is bad.

Nope, staying home.

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good for you!!  i stopped tolerating miserable relatives a few years ago.....and one of them was my sister....i'm 71....wish i had done it many years earlier..........i'm so much happier.....

[NicksmomESQ]

@CrazyKittyLvr2   Good for you!! No one has a right to tell you how to mourn the loss of your DH. No one has cared for the man or loved him as you have. You & only you get to decide that.I'm sick & tired of people sticking their noses in other people's business.
   One of the joys in life is watching children play & laugh & yes splash around in a pool.Their youth & innocence gives us all hope for the future.

    Spend the day as you wish. It's your life.You get to live it as you choose!!