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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,702
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......


@Retired Legal Secretary wrote:

@sidsmom   I can't use my husband as a reason, he died a month ago today.  That's why the man stopped by, to see how I was doing since he died.


@Retired Legal Secretary 

I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. 

I’ll delete my post. 

🌼💛

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,920
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......


@Retired Legal Secretary wrote:

@Drythe  I live outside of town.  This gentleman lives on the complete opposite of town, at least 6 miles one way.  Years ago he and his wife and kids lived over the hill from us, but we moved over 2 decades ago. 

 

As I said he meant well but I don't like surprise visitors especially when I'm not up and functioning yet.


Your home should be a safe haven. Only answer the door if you want to. You owe no one an explanation. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,329
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......


@Retired Legal Secretary wrote:

@Drythe  I live outside of town.  This gentleman lives on the complete opposite of town, at least 6 miles one way.  Years ago he and his wife and kids lived over the hill from us, but we moved over 2 decades ago. 

 

As I said he meant well but I don't like surprise visitors especially when I'm not up and functioning yet.


@Retired Legal Secretary 

 

Ummm... no argument here.

 

I get it, thinking he might have been in the neighborhood.  

Still a call is expected.

 

I’m 30 min from city limits, on a private, dead end road.  Folks don’t just mosey on by, has  advantages. 🌲🌲🌲

 

 

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,623
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

I found that at first, I had way too many visitors, planned and unplanned.  But as the months went on, they dwindled.  Many people that were friendly to us as a couple, are no longer to me as a single.  It’s just natural, I suppose.

 

But in this gentleman’s case, it may be something more.  He might just be interested in how you’re doing, having been there himself.  Many man don’t have the same idea of calling before visiting—I know my husband never did!  He may just want friendship.  Or he may indeed want something more than friendship.  If that is the case, you might have to make it clear up front whether or not you feel the same.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 787
Registered: ‎10-14-2016

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

I feel sorry for the man.  He's lonely.  Maybe you and your husband could start inviting him to dinner once every few weeks.....than way he'll have something to look forward to and won't pop in. 

 

You may have friends and family but he may not.....put yourself in his shoes.  You may be in them one day.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,877
Registered: ‎03-30-2010

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

I'd have still been asleep at 9:00 am.  Often I'm up for all hours during the night,  so I sleep in .  And, no, I do not feel guilty about it! 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,262
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

[ Edited ]

@travone wrote:

I feel sorry for the man.  He's lonely.  Maybe you and your husband could start inviting him to dinner once every few weeks.....than way he'll have something to look forward to and won't pop in. 

 

You may have friends and family but he may not.....put yourself in his shoes.  You may be in them one day.


 

 

 

 

 

@travone 

 

 

 

 

 

Your heart is in the right place, and I know that you mean well, but the o/p's husband died recently.

 

She already is in those shoes.

 

That's why this man came over, to check on her, to see how she is doing since she lost her husband.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,920
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

The OP's husband passed away a month ago.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,727
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

Only here will people jump to wild conclusions, and get all up in arms by a friend reaching out to help someone who may be going through a difficult time.  People must have never saw each other before the invention of telephones.

You never look good trying to make someone else look bad.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,651
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

@travone   I am in his shoes.