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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,759
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

I hope this doesn't become a habit......

This am I fell asleep on the couch after DD left for work.  About 9:00 am I heard a noise on the porch and thought one of the outside cats knocked something over. When I opened the door, expecting to see a planter spilled,  there stood a neighbor/friend standing there.  He said he thought he'd stop and see how I was doing. His wife died a year ago. We along with 6 other couples socialized decades ago but he basically saw DH to have mowers etc. fixed in the last several years.

 

I grabbed a robe and stepped on the porch. I hadn't showered or even combed my hair, nothing. We talked for 20 mins. and he finally left.

 

I feel awful for being irked, he meant well, but geez it was 9 in the am. At that time, uninvited, you get me as I am. He is very nice and am sure he gets lonely, although he keeps busy from the sounds of it, but if I need or want company I have family and friends to call.

 

I hope this was a one time thing.

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,145
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

@Retired Legal Secretary   I'm sure he meant well and was concerned about you.  

 

However I have to agree about people just popping over!  Why can't they call first? 

 

I have a neighbor who lived across the street from us for over 27 years.  They recently moved 10 minutes away to a senior community.  Yesterday morning as I was about to step into the shower I heard the mailman's truck pull up. I like to listen to him pick up and scan my packages (I have an Etsy store and my mail carrier is wonderful picking up packages on the porch) . Well I heard him say hello and I peeked out to see who was there...my old neighbor was standing on my front walkway and her car was in my driveway...why can't she call first?

 

As a result I sent DH to answer the door and I had to miss her since I was about to get into the shower and then had to leave.  

 

I would never just pop over to someone's house without calling or texting first!

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,024
Registered: ‎01-23-2019

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

I hear you!  I used to have a neighbor that would knock on my door whenever she felt like it to bug me about fixing her VCR, her fax machine, blah blah you name it.  I always accomodated her because she was elderly and needed some help but she clearly just wanted someone to talk to.  I can sympathize with that but her tactics were very heavy handed.  The worst thing though that my neighbor would do was steal all of my UPS packages from my door and keep them claiming she was worried someone would steal them (which is exactly what she was doing!)  This was her most tried and true method of extorting conversation/company out of me. Ugh, the dreaded notes I would find "I have your package, please ring my bell". She also did it with the Sunday paper! Also had an employee of my building who would just come by and knock in the evening to chit chat. I am a private person and I don't like things like this. I am so glad she moved and the employee is gone!  I can understand you OP.  Some people just don't get it.

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Posts: 5,541
Registered: ‎09-24-2011

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

 

I think it was a very nice thing to do. 

 

Your neighbor has been there, is still there, and wishes to let you know he's there for you - someone who can totally understand what you're going thru right now.  A shoulder to lean on, cry on, just be there for is a most special gift.  We all should be there for one another, but time, life circumstances often prevents this.  Why just limit yourself to family and friends, thus shutting out the kindness of others?

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,314
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

Many of are surprised by the type of invitations we get from those we thought we knew after we are alone.  Can be a shock we are not ready for.

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Posts: 6,145
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......


@goldenlocks wrote:

 

I think it was a very nice thing to do. 

 

Your neighbor has been there, is still there, and wishes to let you know he's there for you - someone who can totally understand what you're going thru right now.  A shoulder to lean on, cry on, just be there for is a most special gift.  We all should be there for one another, but time, life circumstances often prevents this.  Why just limit yourself to family and friends, thus shutting out the kindness of others?


@goldenlocks   Yes he sounds very nice but it would have been nicer if he called first.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,425
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

@Retired Legal Secretary 

 

Good thing about living out in the woods,

no one just drops by.

 

Nice of your neighbors to think of you.

 

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,421
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

I think it is nice that he was thoughtful to think of you and stop by. However, I do think he should have called prior to coming over. I would never just drop in on someone. 

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Posts: 1,759
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

@Drythe  I live outside of town.  This gentleman lives on the complete opposite of town, at least 6 miles one way.  Years ago he and his wife and kids lived over the hill from us, but we moved over 2 decades ago. 

 

As I said he meant well but I don't like surprise visitors especially when I'm not up and functioning yet.

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Posts: 1,759
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: I hope this doesn't become a habit......

@sidsmom   I can't use my husband as a reason, he died a month ago today.  That's why the man stopped by, to see how I was doing since he died.