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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,837
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: I have a question and need advice please!

[ Edited ]

@IamMrsG wrote:

Q: "How are you?"

A:  "Busy, no time, must run.  Take care!"   


 

I agree!

 

I have a neighbor who always wants to chat for a long time whenever I see her.  She's a nice lady, but it's often hard to get away from her.  So I say some variation of, "Busy, no time, must run.  Take care!"  

 

I usually say something like, "Hi - I'm already late!  Love your hair!", always said with a smile as I quickly rush past her.  I do variations of this pretty often if I run into anyone anywhere at a time when I'm in a hurry or just not in the mood to get into a long conversation.  

 

No one should be allowed to monopolize your time like that, so you have to set boundaries in your own mind and simply not allow it.  While always being nice of course!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,580
Registered: ‎06-15-2015

Re: I have a question and need advice please!

[ Edited ]

@Vickiv wrote:

i have a lady that I know and run into quite often. When I see her she will say how are you? That's it then it starts. After 30 minutes or more without a break she tells  me all her problems. Her son,boyfriend,sister and anyone else that has done her wrong. Always something broke down, identify theft but her boyfriend used her credit cards. I don't know what to say or do. I barely can get away from her.  What would you do? 

 

 

I would say "sounds like you have a lot of problems", is what I would say.

 

What  I would tell you to do?  Say, "hope things get better in case we should ever meet again". Now, let me tell you my problems(this is an option), but if you do it make sure you can talk for 30 minutes non-stop without letting her butt in.

 

Now this is what I would do.  I would say "sorry you have so many problems, but I have things to do. Until next time, see ya"! 


 

 

 

hckynut(john)
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,099
Registered: ‎07-24-2013

Re: I have a question and need advice please!

 

Wear a Watch

 

Allow 4 minutes

 

Look at Watch

 

Oh so sorry: You have to : pick up your cleaning; pick up your car; pick up your Mom;  fill in the blank

Valued Contributor
Posts: 890
Registered: ‎01-06-2013

Re: I have a question and need advice please!

I had a neighbor who did the same thing everytime I walked in front of her house.  With - or sometimes without - a pause in her speech I'd say, "Well, I have to run!" and then walk off.  At first it felt rude, but she eventually stopped monopolizing the entire conversation. I felt a little bad that we were never able to get back to an actual short and friendly conversation as I took my walks. It just gets exhausting having those one-sided relationships.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,146
Registered: ‎06-15-2015

Re: I have a question and need advice please!

This woman works in a hospital and I work there also. Thank you some good ideas you gave me. It's horrible she tells everyone her troubles. There are times where we all have problems. I never tell my business . The things she tells is her own fault and she does nothing to help herself. I learned a few good excuses. Thank you.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,580
Registered: ‎06-15-2015

Re: I have a question and need advice please!


@IamMrsG wrote:



She might indeed be lonely or unhappy.  Either way, I'd never advise someone to lie.    

 

 

I didn't hear or read anyone say they were lying. Myself?  I just say what I mean and it is the truth.


 

hckynut(john)
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,910
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: I have a question and need advice please!

Two examples:  1.  A lady in our neighborhood (moved away) would do the  exact same, and I would nicely say that I had a chicken in the oven, etc. and had to walk back home.  So, one day, I crossed the street when I saw her walking down the block.  Well, she was so mad at me that day that she actually crossed the street to my side and started yelling at me, telling me that I was rude and how I always had a 'chicken baking in my oven', etc., etc.  She turned bright red.  I did feel bad, but didn't say much to her, just that I was sorry and I walked off.     .....  #2.  At the time, many years ago, I was very allergic to strong odors, strong smoke, etc.  For whatever reason (luck), as I backed my car out of my garage some mornings, a neighbor from down the street would manage to be there, stand along side of my car window, motioning me to roll my window down, to talk.  Blowing his pipe or cigar smoke into my car while talking.  Wouldn't leave, just talked away.  Needless to say, my day at work wasn't the best.  Luckily I always left my house at least a half hour early, just in case.  Being late was not an option (for me).  

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,280
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I have a question and need advice please!

I know you don't want to appear rude, but the words "gotta run" come to mind.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,748
Registered: ‎08-29-2010

Re: I have a question and need advice please!


hckynutjohn wrote:  
I didn't hear or read anyone say they were lying. Myself?  I just say what I mean and it is the truth.


Page 1, post 5, John.

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,614
Registered: ‎05-13-2012

Re: I have a question and need advice please!

Years ago I decided to eliminate or avoid anyone in my life who doesn't bring joy or who brings me down.  I would avoid anyone who is like the person you described.