I have Bad Manners & Need advice ... - Page 4

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

In hindsight, I think it would have been better to donate this expensive toy, especially given that so many families cannot afford any gifts right now.

I would never say anything to the neighbor if she asks about the slippers other than thanking her.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

RinaRina · ‎03-13-2010

@GenXmuse wrote:
Just say thank you. If you think they were used or chewed up by her dogs why embarrass her by asking for the receipt? It sounds like you are offended by the inequitable exchange which was meant to be a "donation" with no strings attached.

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It was the tag that looked chewed up, not the slippers themselves.

Regarding your comment: "It sounds like you are offended by the inequitable exchange which was meant to be a "donation" with no strings attached. "

YOU are correct.

There were no strings ... It was a FREE toy.

I felt offended that she felt obligated to "give" me a gift when I gave her something that was free. The toy was not a "gift", so there was no need to pay me back ...

She didn't "owe" me anything .. especially something as personal as slippers ... in the wrong size!

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."

RinaRina · ‎03-13-2010

@agb80 wrote:
I would have said thank you and then tossed them in the trash can. Not going to put something on my feet from a stranger and will make sure it's under wraps before placing it in can so as not to offend.

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Slippers??? I've never been given slippers as a "gift" from anyone including FAMILY members.

She was dumping ...

Unfortunately, I've been cleaning out my house and don't need more junk.

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."

NickNack · ‎03-10-2010

@RinaRina It sounds like you're mad at her for giving you the slippers. I don't see any reason to be mad or offended. Just donate them and forget about it.

The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau

KKJ · ‎03-11-2010

The slippers do seem like an odd thing to give someone you aren't close to.

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

I agree with others who said if the slippers are in 'like new' condition to donate, do so.

If, as you say, they appear to be "chewed on", just dispose of them and be done with it.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

@RinaRina I've read enough of your posts to say you aren't a person who has bad manners.

I have a friend I eat with maybe as much as 4 times a week.

She drives me crazy because she seems to always feel she's 'in competition' with me as far as gifts go.

She does things like she went to a Christmas themed home made show. She brought me back a Christmas themed face mask. She brings back sometimes huge magnets for my refrigerator. Things like that.

But the whole time she'll say, "I never know what to get you. You spend so much money on my gift". It does drive me crazy, but over the years I've learned to just ignore that and accept the gift with a thank you.

I don't wear the mask (it doesn't fit right and it isn't one that would block covid). As for the magnets, etc....same thing..smile and be gracious.

My problem is I can't bear to give them to Salvation Army, etc because for one thing she bought it specifically for me and I'd feel guilty.

I would love to give her some electronic things for Christmas. I love my Fitbit Versa watch and would love to give her one. She'd end up handing it back to me saying, "I don't know how to set it up". I've given her Dooney purses and she hands them back.

Every Christmas lately I give her a subscription to Seris radio. I know how much she enjoys it and even though she could afford it, she won't buy it for herself.

I was ready to buy her an Apple watch similar to mine and my daughter said my friend would just give it back. She would.

I think the best thing for you to do is just thank the person, set it aside and since you aren't friends, donate it, like you or someone else said.

It's different with my friend because she bought the gifts specifically for me.

I always feel like most of the time it's the kindness that counts. Kindness that the gift was given and kindness that the gift was accepted.

I love giving friends gifts they would like. I've always told my family birthday and Christmas is to get something you'd like to have (and probably could afford it) but don't buy it for yourself. What is that one thing?

That's what I like to give close family members and close friends.

This is the time of year when I donate money to causes that are important to me. Sometimes I'll donate a little money in the friend's name.

I've had friends thank me for donating to a cause they are fond of. I donate in their name.

Just by the OP worrying about did she do the right thing says she's not rude or doesn't have bad manners.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

RinaRina · ‎03-13-2010

@ Annabellethecat,

Re: " I've given her Dooney purses and she hands them back. "

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😲 (Jaw dropped)

U must be kidding!!

I wouldn't do that.

I'd accept it graciously!

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."

KKJ · ‎03-11-2010

And I totally understand the OP's thinking it was "dumped" on her and not wanting it. You also run the risk of if you are too nice and not honest then she may dump more cr*p on you you don't want. For example, my MIL who's elderly and has NO fashion sense used to dump lots of clothes on me that I didn't want.nor had room for. I took them to a thrift shop and of course she asked me for them after she dumped them on me & I had to tell her I took them to thrift store. She seemed a bit annoyed at first but had I not then I know she'd be dumping old clothes on me thereafter that I don't want.