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Super Contributor
Posts: 417
Registered: ‎01-07-2020

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...

this is jmo...your neighbor was compelled to give back as she was very grateful for the kind jester you did....as a reciever most want to give something back....we do not know your neighbor's story and she could be struggling and felt that was all she had to give back....you did some joy to your neighbor and it would not matter to me what she gave me as a thank you....giving back made her feel good

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,278
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...

ITA with everybody else.  Furthermore, I also agree that the OP doesn't need a lecture.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,520
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...

No bad manners here, just a puzzle for you..

 

One thought is that she was taken aback by the unexpected gift and was doing her best to give back.  She may have limited funds or restricted shopping opportunities.


Nice on both sides.  

Might be a nice person to get to know after this virus.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,397
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...

@RinaRina -

I vote for #2!

She probably just felt compelled to do something nice back and it sounds like those slippers may have been something someone gave her that she really didn't want either, maybe.😬

I don't think you have bad manners at all. All your thoughts are thoughtful ones but I don't think you need to feel bad at all for happily, thankfully donating them (to some other poor soul lol!).

Merry Christmas!😊🎄Flat Shoe on Microsoft Windows 10 May 2019 Update

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,862
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...

@RinaRina   You displayed good manners in accepting her gift and once a gift is given it belongs to the recipient to do with what they want. Some don't understand  that it's OK to be a gracious receiver without having to reciprocate. You did a very nice thing giving her the toy for her grandson.  Merry Christmas.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,094
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...

Just say thank you. If you think they were used or chewed up by her dogs why embarrass her by asking for the receipt? It sounds like you are offended by the inequitable exchange which was meant to be a "donation" with no strings attached. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,398
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...

[ Edited ]

@alicedee wrote:

I would donate.  If she asks if they fit, say "No, darn it....it was so thoughtful off you and with things so hectic I didn't want to bother you about the receipt, so I passed them along to someone who could wear them."  

She just wanted to return a kindness.  Chances are she will never ask.


@alicedee I agree. Honesty is always the best policy!!   There's  a  way to say something  honest and truthful, without being hurtful. 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,629
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...


@candys mine wrote:

Donate them and tell the truth if she asks.  Could she possibly have been trying to connect with you after your initial kind gesture to her?  Many people are lonely to some degree these days.


===================================

 

No, she isn't lonely.  She has adult children and grandchildren, one of whom she's been raising herself for the last 10 years.  I have NO clue why she gave me the slippers.  My only thought was maybe someone gave her the slippers and they were too big.  

 

BTW, I just looked at the size --- 10!  I wear a 7.5-8.

Now, I KNOW she didn't buy these for me.  She was dumping.

So I'll dump them to Goodwill.  Cat Very Happy

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,629
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...


@Cakers3 wrote:

@RinaRina   Next time donate the toy to one of the many organizations looking for toys to distribute to children who may receive nothing.  And not just because of COVID.  Every year there are children in shelters.

 

Personally I would not give a toy to a semi-known neighbor just because she has a grandson. 

 

And overall you are making more of a deal than this situation really merits.


 

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Not really.  I clearly stated I did not want to be rude.

And based on the responses here, asking for the receipt would've been bad manners at best.

 

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,119
Registered: ‎10-16-2020

Re: I have Bad Manners & Need advice ...


@RinaRina wrote:

A few weeks ago, there was a mix-up with my WMT order and I got some kind of toddler toy instead of the items I'd ordered.  I called WMT and they told me to not to send it back - just donate it.

So, I walked across the street and gave it to a neighbor who has a grandson.  She was happy to take it because she said the toy was VERY expensive.

 

Yesterday, when I was walking my dog, she came out and gave me a "gift" ... a pair of super ugly oversized bedroom slippers.  The tag/label looked like her dog had chewed it up.

She told me if they didn't fit, she'd give me the receipt.  

I thanked her and went on with my walk.

 

I HAVE BAD MANNERS ....  

#1- Should I ask for the receipt and get something else?

#2 - Should I not mention it and donate the slippers?

 

This woman is NOT a "friend".  We don't socialize.  She's just a neighbor who has a grandchild, so I gave her the toy.  

I don't even know why she felt compelled to "give" me something.  

I'm way past the age where I need gifts from people who don't know me well and don't know my needs or what I like.  I've been dejunking my house for months.  I just don't need anymore useless junk.

 

I don't want to be rude, but I'm leaning towards #2.

Suppose she asks if the slippers fit?

 

 


I would have said thank you and then tossed them in the trash can.  Not going to put something on my feet from a stranger and will make sure it's under wraps before placing it in can so as not to offend.