Community Chat

[PamfromCT]

I read a very interesting theory from a child psychologist who has a column in our paper.
He talked about the gap between parents of a generation or two ago versus today's parents.

His theory is that years ago, if you asked parents what they wanted for their children, they would have said "to be good and productive citizens." The focus was on what they would contribute toward society.

Nowadays, at least with some (I'll be generous here) parents, if you asked them what kind of adults they wanted to produce, they would likely says "I want them to be happy and feel good about themselves." So, the shift has produced ME-centered people.

These same parents concentrate on producing "happy" children at all costs. They fail to instill the fact that you have to take some lumps in life, and that life is not fair. Life is not easy and you have to work hard - what a shock this will be to some when they become adults.

I'm not saying that children should be treated harshly and have an austere little life. But there has to be balance. We all want our kids to be happy adults, for the right reasons.

[nun ya]

I know for me, I am mid 40's with a 22 yr old. It is a balance of wanting better but also not to just hand things to them because you can. I see parents my age who have their kids back no matter what. Everyone else is wrong and their child is always right. That teaches never being responsible for your own situtions. I was brought up that if I was in the wrong, there was no justifying my behavior, I was wrong and learned from it.

On the other hand, I see plenty of young adults who are productive, hard working, responsible and polite. 

[Tyak]

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@cherry wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@cherry wrote:

There are lots of examples of  bad citizenship. the latest being vacinations for children. I wonder how many of the people moaning about it, smoke pot or do drugs?  Bring back the draft it would do some people a world of good

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What?? This is the most bizarre overreaction I've read in a while.The draft is only active during times of war and people who got drafted often died in combat. There's a balance between coddling and sending people to fight in a war and die against their will.

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Oh no we had a peace time draft. You are just too young to know it.

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And did you get drafted? Or is it easy to say now because you were not then and are not now eligible?

It's always nice to volunteer others when you know you yourself are in no danger of being volunteered, isn't it?

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I believe every person in Israel, male and female, serves a few years in their military and that might not be a bad idea in this country.  Nothing like the military to teach discipline and respect, which certainly appears to be lacking in many homes today.  

[Tyak]

Forget about even trying to read the above quoted post.  Why did it come out that light?  It's terrible to my eyes.  This forum has gone nowhere but down since their supposed 'improvement.'

[momtochloe]

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@cherry wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@cherry wrote:

There are lots of examples of  bad citizenship. the latest being vacinations for children. I wonder how many of the people moaning about it, smoke pot or do drugs?  Bring back the draft it would do some people a world of good

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What?? This is the most bizarre overreaction I've read in a while.The draft is only active during times of war and people who got drafted often died in combat. There's a balance between coddling and sending people to fight in a war and die against their will.

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Oh no we had a peace time draft. You are just too young to know it.

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And did you get drafted? Or is it easy to say now because you were not then and are not now eligible?

It's always nice to volunteer others when you know you yourself are in no danger of being volunteered, isn't it?

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ChynnaBlue, I always appreciate your posts and enjoy reading them but I have to add a different perspective.

I am almost 60 years old.  My brother was eligible for the draft during the Viet Nam war.  I remember my mom every day worrying about what would happen to him but to tell you the truth, this was always hanging over our heads.  Every day.  The draft (and public service) was always there, just not in your face so to speak.  It just really came to the forefront because of the war.

The year before my brother was eligible for the draft his number was 3.  The year after it was in the 200's.  I don't think I had ever seen my mom more emotional sitting in front of the TV watching the draft numbers come up that year and her relief when she realized he would probably not be drafted.

All I can say is that back then it really was a part of everyone's lives, not like now when families that volunteer for our armed forces shoulder the majority of this current responsibility.

It's a different world, I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

[tansy]

The idea of a draft just chills my bones. If every person in a certain age group was drafted and there was at least two years' of college provided upon completion of duty, then maybe.

Otherwise, I shudder at the idea of a huge army at the ready for the war hawks

[Cakers3]

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@Tyak wrote:

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I believe every person in Israel, male and female, serves a few years in their military and that might not be a bad idea in this country.  Nothing like the military to teach discipline and respect, which certainly appears to be lacking in many homes today.  

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Tyak:  But Israel is a far cry from the USA.  The miltary service is ingrained in their citizens; it isn't here.  It would take at least one whole generation for that concept to take hold in the USA; and given today's culture it wouldn't go over very well.  One needs to have respect for one's country to serve responsibly; look around at the anti-USA rhetoric spewed out today.  My take is that you could herd cats faster than you could convince young people here that they need to have a sense of duty and enlist on demand by the gov't.

Viet Nam did have the draft later on but look at the results - draft card burnings, running up to Canada, and protests that escalated beyond anything we had seen before regarding war (conflict actually).

To assume that the draft is the answer to the ills of today's youth is a misguided perception. 

[Bird mama]

Could somebody hand me a towel, because my age is showing too.

[mstyrion 1]

I don't mean to criticize anyone who thinks today's youth is far worse than any other generation, but...

Don't you need to look to yourselves and your kids, if you are a grandparent ,for the people to blame?

If you really think they are the worst, they learned it from someone. Is that someone you?

If you say, my kid is different. I raised them right. Don't you think that every parent says the same? It simply can't be that every kid but yours is a loser.

I don't believe this is the worst generation ever.  Different thought processes go with societal change. My generation was miles away from the Depression-era and WW2 era generations that came before me. That's the way life works.

[sunshine45]

mystyrion i just had to heart your post AND comment that it is so well said and thought out!