Community Chat

[mousiegirl]

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@catter70 wrote:

@mousiegirl, of course we've talked over the years, but it just seems that there could be more said on the day he passed, but I just don't know how to put it into words the way I want. 

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@catter70   If you can't say all you would like and in the way you would want, sit down and type on your computer or write what you feel, you may go through several drafts until you are satisfied.

I remember when the Mother of a friend of mine, years ago, passed.  She and I were talking and I brought up her Mother and we sat talking remembering all of the good times we all shared together, then I asked her if it bothered her that I brought her Mother up, and she said no, that it made her feel good.

[Anonymous032819]

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@catter70 wrote:

@mousiegirl, of course we've talked over the years, but it just seems that there could be more said on the day he passed, but I just don't know how to put it into words the way I want. 

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@catter70 

It doesn't have to be perfect.  

Just tell her how you feel, how much you loved him, miss him, and how much joy he brought you.

Again, it does not have to be perfect.

[blackhole99]

When my brother died I was 11 years old, we never spoke about him because if we did my Mother would burst into tears. In a way it was like he never existed because my parents couldn't talk about him. Only as adults and after my parents died were we as the surviving siblings allowed to grieve the death of our brother. If your sister can talk about her son without reliving everything and getting depressed, I think you should tell her how you feel and share the positive things you remember about her son.

[Bubbles219]

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@panda1234 wrote:

Speak from your heart, say what you have posted here. Tell her you are thinking of him today and how much you miss him. This would mean the world to her. I have a friend who lost a daughter and she once told me that all you want is for people to remember the person who is gone.

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Exactly ~ even though life does go on, it means the world to those who've lost a loved one to know he or she is remnembered and never forgotten.  

[Jordan2]

@catter70 it's hard to know what to say. Even though it has been 41 years since your sister's son passed away, you never get over it, you do learn how to cope with it. To ignore and not say anything to your sister, she may think you forgot or don't care. I would tell her how much I know she misses him as do I, and talk about the good memories you both share with your nephew. People don't like to bring up the death of someone, I find the loved ones are grateful to talk about them.