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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 2,621
Registered: ‎04-14-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

On 12/27/2014 graycatsrule said: I probably wouldn't invite her again. Friends don't do that to friends.

I agree. She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me since she has done this more than once. She sounds like she uses you when it is convenient for her and doesn't take your feelings into consideration. I say you are better off without her.

So sorry she put you through this. I'm sure it hurts.

Super Contributor
Posts: 790
Registered: ‎09-05-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

In one of your posts you mentioned that you will 'softly let her know' how unkind it was to not say anything about not showing up for Christmas. Wow, I would LOUDLY let her know! In fact I would have dumped the selfish ingrate a long time ago. Like when she expected you to drive 50 miles to deliver Christmas dinner to her and her daughter. I certainly hope you didn't do that, you never said whether you did or not. I hope you boot this person out of your life. And I would not for one minute even consider taking her to a concert. Like another poster said, I would rather snuggle in front of the boob tube with my little dog.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,324
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

Find another friend NOW to take to the Symphony. If and when your old 'friend' calls, and if she mentions the Symphony, just say that you changed your plans and will be attending with someone else; Mainly because you are getting the impression that she hasn't wanted to attend your dinners, etc. So, you have taken her 'hint' and you are going with a new friend. Be very nice. Don't seem needy or disappointed. Just act as though you are carrying on with your life with other folks. Be very cheerful. Do not seem 'miffed', as I have a feeling that's the way she wants you to feel.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,324
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

p.s. She probably had a last minute date with a prospective husband.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,873
Registered: ‎09-08-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

It sound like you are posting about this, but have accepted the situation and plan on continuing the friendship. Is that correct?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,347
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

I wouldn't even say anything about the missed meal unless she brings it up. Then, I'd distance myself from her because she really took advantage of you over Thanksgiving.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 77
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

I am hanging tight until she calls. I had a lovely dinner out tonight with another friend.

Don't worry, I am resilient and I have quietly brushed away many friends who cannot find it within them to be courteous and to show up when they say they will. It's distressing that I find this to be more of the norm than the exception.

I will say that the teenage daughter is a problem. My friend is not independent of her and the daughter commits a lot of emotional blackmail.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 69,395
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

I think your long friendship is ending or has ended and you just haven't accepted it yet. This ""friend's"" treatment of you is deplorable and you've accepted it on her terms. I wouldn't call her again and would find another person to go to the symphony. I'd love to have you for a friend.
New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,766
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

I've had friends like this too. They take and never give back at all. You can't count on them for anything, even a kind word or empathy. I enabled this one "friend" for a long time until she treated me so bad after my father passed away. She had no respect for my grieving process and made comments that no one should make to someone who has lost loved ones. When I recently lost my job, she ran for the hills, never called me again.

I don't understand these kind of people. They are either so self centered and narcissistic or they lack any emotional or moral compass to understand what kindness and being grateful is all about.

I feel sorry for people who are that way. One day they will have no one.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 608
Registered: ‎12-12-2010

Re: I don't want to complain, but what my friend did is pretty awful

If she doesn't have a good excuse for skipping dinner, i.e. serious maiming or death, I would scratch her off your invitation list. You may be her friend, but she's no friend of yours. Scrape her off like a wad of gum stuck to your shoe, and find someone worthy of your friendship. Really, you are worth so much more than that.