Community Chat

[5Mls2M-T]

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!

Ok, here it is. I have been involved in a relationship for the last 4yrs w/a really great guy. When I say great, I mean great. Handsome, well dressed/groomed/honest/hard worker/great father (his child from prev relationship), giving, caring, compassionate the whole 9 yds...He & I started out rather casually and then got really serious and started seeing ea other exclusively. Hands down he is truly what any woman would want in a MAN. BUT..........(of course you knew it would be a BUT)

We HAD no CHEMISTRY!!! It was difficult for me to be completely open & vulnerable to him because of the way he ridiculed me for some of the things I did that he did not necessarily agree with. I play lotto, occasionally drink, curse, and enjoy the adult night life. He does NEITHER of these things and is quick to take on the Holier than Thou approach regarding me finding enjoyment in them. Mind you, we don't share finances/home together. Every dime I make is MINE. I am not an alcoholic and very casually imbibe. With the lottery, I am not in jeopardy of losing a thing because of it. With cursing, I can speak intelligently without dropping "F" bombs, however I will occasionally use profanity. Partying is kept to a minimum and I am far from being a loose woman. I LIKE ME and find nothing at all wrong with the things I enjoy in my life. He on the other hand, states he changed his life yrs ago and blah, blah, blah. We have had so many mini-break ups because of me trying to be EVERYTHING he wants me to be and me falling short. We argued about the zaniest things and then this past Aug'10, I ended it all. I knew deep down inside, I rarely enjoyed spending time with him. I hated who I had become trying to please him. He reminded me somewhat of my narcissistic father who constantly had his "foot on my neck" trying to make me perfect while I had very little autonomy. I would find myself envisioning the day we would no longer be together. I knew undoubtedly I loved him, but I never felt that crazy LOVE feeling. I would have to mentally work myself up to spend time w/him. Sometimes we would have the best times, but it always felt like something was missing.

In Aug'10, I finally found the strength to walk away and stopped hanging on for the mere fact of having someone. I stopped getting scared of Being Alone. I got ready to get back to ME & what makes me happy! Since Aug'10 when I broke it off, he has been begging me back. Letters, cards/gifts/texts etc etc. He claims he now realizes how bad he made me feel. He thinks I should give him anther chance. I on the other hand feel like I made the right choice. It has been extremely difficult because of the guilt he makes me feel. Most days, I don't hurt so much from the break up but the GUILT!!!!

How do you make a decision and stick to it? How do you know you have made the right decision? Deep Sigh?? Would you be honest? Have you ever been torn? What did you do? Have you ever been romantically imnvolved w/someone that you knew you did not want to spend the rest of your life with? Help!