Community Chat

[esmerelda]

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@cotton4me wrote:

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@SharkE wrote:

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@esmerelda wrote:

As far as online support groups go...whatever floats your boat.  No doubt some of you who have shared your deepest feelings with "cyber friends" are not so free on the internet with less valuable information.

Ya know...I gotta say this situation is very familiar sounding...all the way down to the OP having to create a new nic to post it.  And IIRC questions about whether she lived with her parents or was able to move out if she was also went unanswered.

Could this be a new year's tradition?

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http://community.qvc.com/t5/Pet-Lovers/HERE-I-SIT-WITH-NO-WOLFGANG/m-p/2407302#U2407302

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I'm not sure what difference any of this makes.  Someone in need is someone in need, whether they’ve posted about it before or under 10 different names.  Problems don’t just disappear because someone posts about it one time.  People need a little boost at times.  I’m glad that most people have been kind and supportive. 

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If  they post about it once, and a year later post about it again, and create yet another nic in addition to the one they created for the first post, they have made no progress in changing their situation. 

Something in their horror story is serving them in some way or they would make a change.

That's how I see it.

I haven't read the Wolfgang thread in Pets.  Not familiar with that.

[sfnative]

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@Elvita wrote:

It is amazing to me how threads like this prompt posters to spill their guts to mortal strangers. SMH.

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People love a victim.  (Note all the hearts on the saddest posts.). It makes some feel superior to the victim and allows others to share their own victim-ness.

Hopefully all will find answers for dealing with the present...and the past.

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@esmerelda

@Elvita

Posters spill their "guts," because it can be therapeutic for them; and, for the O/P, it lets her know that there is factual information out there to prove she's not alone.

I'm not talking empirical evidence, but the real thing.

"People love a victim," etc.  I would hope and do believe that nearly all on here are not here for themselves., nor are they here to raise themselves on high, which would in this case, be most despicable.

(If you frequent Community Chat, you would know this to be true.)

[sfnative]

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@esmerelda wrote:

As far as online support groups go...whatever floats your boat.  No doubt some of you who have shared your deepest feelings with "cyber friends" are not so free on the internet with less valuable information.

Ya know...I gotta say this situation is very familiar sounding...all the way down to the OP having to create a new nic to post it.  And IIRC questions about whether she lived with her parents or was able to move out if she was also went unanswered.

Could this be a new year's tradition?

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@esmerelda

You've GOT to be kidding.

[terriebear]

So sorry to hear this.  It sounds like my mother, who was finally dianosed as bipolar or manic depressive is another word. She would flip on a dime for no apparent reason and fly into a rage. After 5 years of counseling on MY part, I have finally learned to deal with it.  My mom finally got help/meds after a suicide attempt. But most of my sisters have gone to counseling.  The road has been hard, very hard.  I wish you the best.

[fortune]

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@Elvita wrote:

It is amazing to me how threads like this prompt posters to spill their guts to mortal strangers. SMH.

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People love a victim.  (Note all the hearts on the saddest posts.). It makes some feel superior to the victim and allows others to share their own victim-ness.

Hopefully all will find answers for dealing with the present...and the past.

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Did you make this up or read it somewhere?

[minkbunny]

I wish you well, am so sorry for what is happening to you and your family.

Praying there are better days ahead, hopefully filled with the joy and serentiy unconditional love can bring.

[cotton4me]

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@esmerelda wrote:

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If  they post about it once, and a year later post about it again, and create yet another nic in addition to the one they created for the first post, they have made no progress in changing their situation. 

Something in their horror story is serving them in some way or they would make a change.

That's how I see it.

I haven't read the Wolfgang thread in Pets.  Not familiar with that.

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___________________

Not everyone is in a position to change their situation for a variety of reasons.  There are pros and cons to everything.  They may change one thing and bring on three more problems. It reminds me of the saying – caught between a rock and a hard place.  We all face problems in life and some aren’t easily changed.  On the things we can’t change it’s nice to have people in our corner who support and lift us on the bad days.  The right words or a smile can sometimes change a person’s life.

[Mothertrucker]

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@SaRina wrote:

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@cotton4me wrote:

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@esmerelda wrote:

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People love a victim.  (Note all the hearts on the saddest posts.). It makes some feel superior to the victim and allows others to share their own victim-ness.

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It's called compassion.  

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.....  and it is also called "relating to others."   Most of us share like experiences, the good and the bad.  It is helpful, particularly with bad experiences, to share.  That's what support groups are created for. To share for the purpose of healing.

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Support groups have value when they are facilitated by a trained professional.

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True, but not if they are not empathic to the clients- A little empathy, whether from "trained" professionals or yes, even caring strangers, , can go a long way toward healing.

[LucyInTheSky]

Hello all,

Thank you again to those of you who continue to share your own personal stories.  I appreciate your encouragement and support.  (((((hugs)))))

Hi @Lucky Charm - I'm deeply touched by your concern for my mother and for our situation.  I do not live at home with my mother and father.  There were times in the past, I really wished my mother would leave my father.  But, as I mentioned in one of my follow-up posts, my father does care very deeply for my mother, and she cares very deeply for him.  His anger and rage is almost entirely directed at his children these days.  I suspect it has a great deal to do with my mother being sick, as if this is only happening to HIM and is somehow our fault.  But he takes care of my mother a good part of the day while we all work (there are certain things she only wants me to help with, which is more than understandable).  I (and my siblings) visit after work.  So I know there is a zero chance of her coming to live with me to recuperate.  She's comfortable where she is (and we all live just minutes away).  Plus we all work all day.  The part that isn't healthy for her mind and body is the arguing between my father and my siblings.  I had managed to stay out of it for the most part until this episode.  Right now, we're all trying to avoid him as much as possible while still caring for my mother.

Thank you again for your support, Lucky!!