Re: I am seldom speechless, however, my former SIL

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

@Mom2Dogs wrote:
It never ceases to amaze me what comes out of people's mouths....(especially since your grief is still very new)

My dear friend lost her husband about a year and a half ago....we are all about 64 years old.....we don't talk about her remarrying but she has mentioned a time or two since his death that she would never remarry...she can say it but we have never brought the subject up.

I am still friends with a woman I've known since 5th grade. After school we both went our separate ways. I saw her on a FB HS reunion page 4 years ago and PMd her. Turns out she lives about 5 miles from me and we meet every few months for lunch.

We are both 64 - her husband died about 5 years ago (ironically that was when BF was dx with Alzheimers and moved to memory care facility) and he has since died. I was with BF for over 30 years and we both feel the same way - neither of us is interested in another relationship. I think this is more common than you think.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

It's so easy to infer a personal jab from what may only be misinterpreted comment. If you find yourself doing this often, maybe some introspection is in order. I say this to myself as well.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

MalteseMomma · ‎03-09-2010

@suzyQ3 wrote:
It's so easy to infer a personal jab from what may only be misinterpreted comment. If you find yourself doing this often, maybe some introspection is in order. I say this to myself as well.

@suzyQ3

You are one very special Lady......................

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@MalteseMomma wrote:
@suzyQ3 wrote:
It's so easy to infer a personal jab from what may only be misinterpreted comment. If you find yourself doing this often, maybe some introspection is in order. I say this to myself as well.
@suzyQ3

You are one very special Lady......................

@MalteseMomma, if there is even a scintilla of truth in your lovely compliment, I attribute it totally to my being a flawed human being.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

CrazyKittyLvr2 · ‎05-11-2013

@MalteseMomma Yes, I do know I will not meet anyone nor do I want to. I go to dinner with my widowed best friend and a couple other friends. I see other friends. I go to the Dr., CVS and the post office. I am polite but I don't strike up coversations with random men. It's not hard not to meet men when you ignore them. I wouldn't do online line if someone had a gun to my head.

The bottom line is If I can't have the one I had I don't want one. It's the way I feel now and will be the way I feel till I take my last breath.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I'm sure you are hurt, but remember, this is a very hard time for you ,and it might be a remark given in all innocence

Your feelings are on your sleeve right now. If she has no history of doing this sort of stuff, I would just let it go

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

Her comment was tacky and insensitive. I would donate the casseroles and table. I am very sorry for your loss. No one in your situation should hear a comment like that.

going to Carolina · ‎05-14-2010

Wow Retired Legal Secretary I could have written that myself. I lost my husband 1 1/2 years ago. We were together 35 years. I have absolutely no interest in dating or anything else. I feel as you do, I had the best so why bother to do it again. That comment was unbelievable. No one can know how excruciating the pain is until you go through it. I'm still going through it and expect I always will. No one has ever said something like that to me.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:
@CrazyDaisy No drama, just a rude comment in my opinion. I wasn't getting rid of DH's belongings, it was kitchen related things of mine.

As a matter of fact her husband, DH's brother asked me a month ago if I was selling his riding mower. I told him no.

@CrazyKittyLvr2 Is this the SIL/former SIL you have had issues with before? If so, I guess it is all you can expect. Sad but true? So sorry for your loss and your hurt feelings.

CrazyKittyLvr2 · ‎05-11-2013

@going to Carolina I wouldn't wish being in this situation on my worst enemy. We took him off a ventilator. I even called and discussed it with his brothers after my kids and I talked about it. They all agreed it was the right thing to do. He was already "gone" and he wasn't coming back. He had a Living Will and I followed his wishes. Had I been in the same condition he would have done the same for me.

Still I replay that decision over and over. His widowed brother and I talked and he said he still second guesses himself about decisions he made when his wife when she was ill and died. It's been 9 yrs. for him.