Re: I am seldom speechless, however, my former SIL

Deb665 · ‎01-07-2012

I agree it was a thoughtless and insensitive comment; however, hopefully she didn’t mean it as it sounds. My mother was a very nice woman who couldn’t express herself or say what she meant without it coming out all kinds of wrong. If I wrote down even some of the things she said you’d wonder how I came away fairly normal! I can just hear the same thing your SIL said coming from her. She would have been trying to be kind and it just came out “wrong”. Only you know your SIL and know if she has a history of making thoughtless comments. If she does, let it go. If she doesn’t, and you think she meant to be hurtful, let her go! Either way, I’m sorry you are dealing with this.

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

I put that in the same category as ¨It gets easier as time goes by¨

If only..

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

It never ceases to amaze me what comes out of people's mouths....(especially since your grief is still very new)

My dear friend lost her husband about a year and a half ago....we are all about 64 years old.....we don't talk about her remarrying but she has mentioned a time or two since his death that she would never remarry...she can say it but we have never brought the subject up.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

I guess I just don't consider that she said anything heinous... Sorry, though, if her words were upsetting... Related, while I might agree that in-laws might not be family for life, I guess I've always though the designation of 'former' in law was sort of reserved for sitautions involving divorce...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

MalteseMomma · ‎03-09-2010

@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:
@CrazyDaisy She is my former SIL. When my DH died I am no longer related by marriage. If my MIL and FIL were still alive they would be my former in-laws.

I do not know the future about things I can't control, however, I can say I will never date or remarry.

@CrazyKittyLvr2

You made tears fill my eyes.When I lost my DH ,I did not loose a whole family. I LOVE my in-laws and if I had lost all of them then,I do not know how I would have survived my DH death. It has been 25yrs now and I still consider them ALL family, extended cousins,aunts,Uncles ect. also!

Your comment was worse IMO that your DEAR SIL's truthfull comment.you never know what the future holds for you.you may meet someone and marry again,you cannot know now that you won't!

I am shocked at your rudeness,but I will chalk it up to grief.maybe........

tablescape · ‎03-15-2015

Some people are book smart, not common sense smart. She doesn’t understand the deep pain one endures when losing a recent loved one. I don’t believe she meant to cause you pain. Nice of you to offer her your things.

mom2four0418 · ‎04-23-2010

@MalteseMomma wrote:
@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:
@CrazyDaisy She is my former SIL. When my DH died I am no longer related by marriage. If my MIL and FIL were still alive they would be my former in-laws.

I do not know the future about things I can't control, however, I can say I will never date or remarry.
@CrazyKittyLvr2

You made tears fill my eyes.When I lost my DH ,I did not loose a whole family. I LOVE my in-laws and if I had lost all of them then,I do not know how I would have survived my DH death. It has been 25yrs now and I still consider them ALL family, extended cousins,aunts,Uncles ect. also!

Your comment was worse IMO that your DEAR SIL's truthfull comment.you never know what the future holds for you.you may meet someone and marry again,you cannot know now that you won't!

I am shocked at your rudeness,but I will chalk it up to grief.maybe....

Who was the OP rude to? Maybe her relationship with in-laws is not as loving as yours.

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

It doesn't sound to me like it was her intention to hurt or shock you. Of course you know her better than I do. I think we can all probably remember a time when we stuck our foot in our mouths. Unless this is a commom occurance with her, I think I would just look at it for what it is....a rather "off-beat" clumsy statement.