Community Chat

[lucymo]

May God take away the sadness and give you a new outlook on life.  I wish you a Thanksgiving that will be a turning point for the better in your life. Hugs.

[seaBreeze]

I know the pain you are feeling .... taking it "one day at a time" is how I get through.  Nothing stays the same, sadly .... sending you a hug from someone who shares your feelings about the holidays.   @Andrewsgrandma

[Irshgrl31201]

I am so sorry @Andrewsgrandma, I hate to hear this and about the lose of those close to you. I know that has to make it so difficult. I do hope another poster is correct that having such low expectations surprises you and that you have a much better holiday than expected. Hugs to you!

[libbyannE]

I hope you relax and enjoy the day without pressuring yourself to feel as you used to. I imagine that many on the boards have been there, but every loss and every response to that loss is unique. My heart goes out to you, truly.  My father died in late August.

[BalletBabe]

@Andrewsgrandma  Life is not easy!  Last year was the first year I was without my husband.  My son was stationed in Texas (In Navy) and could not get off.  He has been transferred to Tampa, so this year he and my Grandbaby will be here.   I know there isn't much I can say to make you feel better, but I have to say being on these boards helped me a lot.  There are some funny people on here!  Sometimes, I mope around, but life is passing by while we do nothing to try to improve it.   Buy yourself something, and you can vent to us anytime. 

We all need love and support at certain times in our life!   Don't be afraid to talk to anyone here.  Mostly good people here!

[I am still oxox]

I dreaded the first Thanksgiving after my Mom passed away, she died in mid October so Thanksgiving was 6 weeks after, it was sad and she was missed but it ended up as a good time

[Daysdee]

I totally understand.  I suffered a great loss a few years ago just before Christmas.  Will never be the same, but we must go on.  I try to keep busy and keep up holiday tradition for my children.  Pray that I can remain independent.  I guess prayers and keeping busy even if it does involve holiday decorating, cleaning, etc. is the best we can do.  I hope your holiday turns out better than you expect it to be.  Good thoughts for you.

[Mominohio]

@Andrewsgrandma

I am so very sorry for all the loss in your life, and want you to know that what you feel is normal, not that it makes it any easier for you, but just know you are not alone in your feelings and reactions. 

Given enough time, I hope that your pain will ease and you will find joy in some things again. 

I find that often, not looking for joy in the same places (or events) as you found with those now gone, might be a start. Rather, look for joy or comfort or interest in areas or during times that don't connect you to those times gone by. Different days, different places, different (new) traditions might make new joys over time, when they don't have to compete with the old and lost ones. 

I too, hope that at least you are able to work through the day tomorrow, even if you find no joy or peace, at least you can know you are strong enough to get through it, a very good first step. 

[mzlg]

@Andrewsgrandma  

[GCR18]

I don't want to minimize your feelings.  They are what they are.  I was thinking about the other family joining you tomorrow.  Maybe they feel similar.  Is there anything from past holiday traditions that you can incorporate into new holiday traditions?  

My family is in discord with my sister being admitted to a nursing home earlier this year.  My mother and I will go to the home for lunch.  Her teenagers want no part of it and said they are staying home with their dad.  So I'm still working through what our traditions will look like.  

Hope your day turns out pleasant.