I am angry and sick with grief this morning

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

My dear dad has been in a nursing home almost 4 yrs. now. Our family is there very often. This past week they put a 90 yr. old man in with him who is not "right in his mind". He crawled into bed with my dad and tried to get into his depends briefs. Dad was asleep and woke up to this. My father is extremely weak and bedridden. He cannot walk. He cannot even turn himself over in bed. He has lost all his bodily functions. We called Hospice in for him about 2 or 3 weeks ago and they come to the nursing home.......... so that tells you how weak he is.

I am angered beyond belief because they put this man in with my Dad (as his new roomate for several weeks) KNOWING THAT THIS MAN HAD DONE THIS BEFORE to someone else. How in God's name could they justify putting him in the same room with my dad (or anyone for that matter as their roommate?? ) This elderly man is weak in his mind but strong in his body. Needless to say we moved Dad to a different home yesterday and I am filing complaints with the Dept. of health and the omsbedum against this home in hopes that this will not happen to another person.

We realize that this is not the fault of the old man....he is demented. As far as the family sees it....it was gross negligence. The negligence of this nursing home in putting someone this capable of harming another person and who has attempted to molest and maybe even rape another person...especially someone weak and frail and probably in his last few months of life ...Well it's beyond our comprehension. I just want to put my head in my hands and bawl. Please pray for us if we come to mind today.

The administrator of the home had the gall to tell my mom that no harm was done and this would never happen again. Thankfully, he didn't rape my dad but he intended to get into his brief if he could. Thankfully, Dad had enough strength to scream out and be heard. The last couple of weeks he was so sick we thought we might loose him.

sim2222 · ‎06-10-2015

That is terrible. I would sue for sure!

sligo · ‎10-20-2010

Having your dad so sick is heartbreaking for you and your family. My heart is with all of you. I would most def. contact all authorities( sorry about SP. So upset cannot think straight) about this situation. Nursing home staff is only concerned about themselves! I would not allow them to shrug this off saying it won't happen again. This is your only dad. Do the right thing. YOUR FAMILY comes first. Please keep in touch. Will remember you and your family every day. ( I have lost my dad. The hurt NEVER goes away.

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

You have every right to be angry, glad you moved him.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Bri36 · ‎02-20-2017

I am very sorry that happened to your dad.

Thankfully, he has your family to see to it that his best interests are met. Hopefully, he's in a much better place now.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

It is very unfortunate. I'm inclined to be a bit more forgiving of the home because the behavior of the other man might have been a first time thing. That man is declining too and it is hard to predict what might or might not happen.

RinaRina · ‎03-13-2010

You need to get a lawyer ASAP. I'm not kidding.

"Reckless Endangerment" ...

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."

RinaRina · ‎03-13-2010

@RinaRina wrote:
You need to get a lawyer ASAP. I'm not kidding.
"Reckless Endangerment" ...

Edit:
Oh! I see, you moved him.

"Needless to say we moved Dad to a different home yesterday and I am filing complaints with the Dept. of health and the omsbedum against this home in hopes that this will not happen to another person."

I filed a complaint with the DoH a year ago and never heard a word from them.

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."

Renata22 · ‎03-16-2010

I'm so sorry this happened to your loved one. This truly breaks my heart.

drizzellla · ‎03-14-2010

Sadly I think it happens too often. When someone does unacceptable things the nursing home just keeps moving the person around. Sadly, they moved him into your Dad's room.

And what makes it even more stressful is that you had to move your Dad to a new home.

That additional stress on your Dad and your family - by the "incident "and moving and adjusting to a new nursing home.

My Dad was in a nursing home for 10 years. And 2 weeks before he died he went to a hospital in Philadelphia. His roomate was a 25 year old drug addict. The drug addict was standing up bouncing up and down on his bed screaming for nurses or on the phone trying to get someone to deliver drugs to the hospital. I was scared to leave my Dad alone with this guy. We talked to the nurses about the situation and they said there were no other available beds. I could go on and on.

I am glad you are being proactive with your Dad. I wish him well in the new nursing home.