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02-08-2022 01:42 PM
I think after spending so much time together, it's obvious that he doesn't know the woman he married and doesn't like the woman she really is. He's an up tight bleep but I think that nastiness is because he's in denial about why he has this negative feelings for his wife.
02-08-2022 01:56 PM
To me, they both sound like self-absorbed duds who deserve each other or a divorce. He should never have written such disrespectful tripe about his wife for publication. As for her, anyone who parrots the trendy mantra "I reject productivity culture" has deeper problems than an egotistical husband.
02-08-2022 02:00 PM
To me the aah ha moment came when he wrote that she was reading "fantasy" novels. I would too if I were her.
02-08-2022 02:07 PM
@RollTide2008 wrote:
This is why I’m single.
This is why I am still divorced after 22 years. Too controlling.
02-08-2022 02:25 PM
It's interesting what the effects of "change" can be. A couple can get along extremely well in one phase and circumstances of life only to discover incompatibiiities when life changes for them. It is hard to "grow" together and keep a relationship alive and close. This couple was fortunate to discover their discord earlier rather than later.
I don't think it's a good idea to 'ignore" things that can become big later on.
02-08-2022 02:31 PM - edited 02-08-2022 02:40 PM
the trendy mantra "I reject productivity culture"
vsm, I was struck by that phrase as well; in fact, that is my boldface in the letter to Carolyn Hax. I'd never heard it before, and it does smack of a certain self-consciousness that can be off-putting.
I have to give the phrase this, however. It captures a certain facet of these times.
02-08-2022 03:07 PM
Since he was clear that his work was monotonous and her's was quite challenging, it makes perfect sense that she doesn't feel the need to bounce balls against the wall during her down time.
I think he's unhappy most with his profession and there lies the problem with his marriage/wife.
I bet she's a really good person. An assumption on my part, I admit.
02-08-2022 03:09 PM
@Witchy Woman wrote:
Without reading anything other than your post, I have to wonder what drew them together to begin with.
What did she see/feel that made her say, "this is the man for me."
Without even waiting for a response to that question I would offer this:
Run. Run screaming!
Get half of everything now and leave.
won't be out $$$$$ for a lawyer anyway. LOL
02-08-2022 03:52 PM
@Witchy Woman wrote:
Without reading anything other than your post, I have to wonder what drew them together to begin with.
What did she see/feel that made her say, "this is the man for me."
Without even waiting for a response to that question I would offer this:
Run. Run screaming!
Get half of everything now and leave.
@Witchy Woman I have known a few women who pretended to be just what a man wanted until they were married. On another thread, I think Diana and Charles both had that going and it didn't turn out well. I think he thought she'd be the traditional wife and she thought she'd be the queen and the star.
People need to be themselves before the commit!
02-08-2022 03:56 PM
Remember the thread from a few days back? Once I knew my own power, I didn't need to characterize my ex. I could say and actually believe that some day he would make someone a good husband.
My wish for the "bride" is that she find her power and move on with her life. What he is or is not really isn't much of an issue.
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