Community Chat

[Othereeeen]

I have no kids or spouse, but two cats, one elderly.

I find I treat him a lot more gently and kindly now....because he IS older and obviously has a little trouble jumping up on things to visit me ( i have a computer desk with a drawer that he likes to sleep in when I'm on the computer....)..

I also bought a pet heating pad that is touch operated ( comes on when he lies on it....a "pressure switch" I think it's called. I cover it with an old towel and it's his favorite place to sleep..even in "Warm" weather!! He LOVES heat...

And now that I am creakier at 65,especially after working outside all morning on mowing, hedge clipping, snow shovelling ( all of which I continue to do just to keep myself from "freezing up"!!!)....I have more empathy for him...

Plus he's now lost two canine teeth on the same side, and I call him "gumby" because he makes a mess when he eats!!

(the vet says it's ok for him to have lost those teeth because he is an inside cat and they use those teeth to hold prey not chew it..one he lost somewhere, and one I actually found in his bed. his mouth is completely healed, he just is a gumby now!!!)

I give him extra attention. He was a feral stray that took YEARS to tame enough to catch and neuter and make an indoor cat out of . I have ANOTHER stray that I took in last year, a female who had at least four litters of kittens and endured brutal outside weather for years til I caught her...She LOVES living inside!!!

I know cats have lived for millions of years outside in all types of weather, but I absolutely HATE to see any animal outdoors when it's zero, ( unless they WANT to be outside, like some well fed horses seem to...but they all have access to shelter if they want it, and are well fed and cared for by thier owners....).

I read the obits in my hometown paper, and one ex-boyfriend recently died. Even though it was 30 years ago since we dated, it's strange and disconcerting to see someone you dated has died....and he was only 67....!!!

[Imaoldhippie]

I totally agree, everything gets harder as you age.

[SloopJohnB]

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@godi wrote:

I can still hear my Dad say to me " I want to see my mom again"  Tore me up. I hope he did. ❤️🙏

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@godi OMG, my mom said something very similar and I had the same reaction that you had.  And reading your post brings it all back.  💔🙏

[matty liz]

Love the thoughts.  I think as we get older and lose those we know and love, some loss is that they knew us in many different ways and we didn't need to explain ourselves or be afraid of taken the wrong way.  We could complain, cry, laugh and we accepted as did they.

[goldensrbest]

I find loss in people and our 4 leg babies extremely difficult,  my son shane died in 1998 ,at 27, i think and miss him each and every day ,husband in 2013, i think of him daily,miss him, and family ,grand parents ,dad  aunts ,life has changed so very much, my fur babies,  they brought so much love into my life ,the latest was spirit ,last year ,it will be 1 yr. come sept 1st, i cry for him,growing old really is not easy.

[Katcat1]

@wismiss     You need to let go of the grief and think of the big picture of life.  It's a journey with some really difficult things to deal with but if your grieving lasts too long it may be more than grief.  Wishing you peace of mind.

[beckyb1012]

For me I never dreamed not only would I be the last one of my little family left when I was growing up, but that I would only be 59 years old.  I could have decades ahead of me without my little sister in 2009, my Mom in 2013, my Dad in 2020 and my little brother in 2021.   It is the strangest loneliest feelings sometimes to think that no one who lived in my home growing up is still with me.  I have to pass that home every day on my way to work and I never fail to look at the home we built in 1970 together.

[IamMrsG]

As a Christian, any concern I may have about the ‘hereafter’ is taken care of.  I have no fear of that.

The natural order of learning is that Seniors graduate.  After graduation, the Senior either continues on to higher education or reaps the benefits of what they have learned.  Not to trivialize, but, to me, ‘graduating’ life is a means for going on to bigger and better things.  

It interests me that we celebrate other forms of graduation.  We celebrate the Senior’s accomplishment with dinners and parties.  But with life, we who are left behind grieve. When you get right down to it, though, aren’t we thinking of ourselves, our losses?  I have lost both my parents and, more recently, my husband of nearly 50 years. During our years together, we also said goodbye to several loved pets.  Of course it is hard to let go, but that grief is on me, not any of them, and that is as it should be.  They walked their walk, endured the process and left it behind.   Human or animal, I believe  am sure their trials and struggles are over.  

It gives me peace to think of them ‘on the other side’ together, watchful and guiding, waiting for the day we will be reunited.  In the meantime, I try to continue my education here in life, hoping to graduate with honor.

Edited to fix formatting that didn't take the first time. 

[SilleeMee]

This might sound selfish to some but I need to focus my time and thoughts on staying healthy in my senior years. Yes the deaths of loved ones, including my pets, takes a toll but I can't let that get me down. Keeping my energy aligned with staying positive, though difficult at times, is how I choose to live the rest of my days. I've had a lot of tragedy in my life but like they say...life is for the living.

[IamMrsG]

@SilleeMee   When DH died, it occurred to me that the best way to honor his memory was to live strong and well, and, by that, I mean more than healthy.  He would expect no less, and would not be honored by hand wringing or becoming dependent on others.