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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,889
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I Thought When I got Older.....

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letting go of people and animals that pass on that I love would be easier.  After all, when you go through it so many times, you would think you would have developed ways to cope, ways to toughen up, and ways to protect your heart.  But, for me, the opposite has happened.  The loss of each person or pet is more devastating than the one before.  Have you found this to be true in your life or am I just different?  And, no, it's not that their passing reminds me that it will happen to me some day.  I  grieve about how much I miss that person/pet and how they are no longer a part of every day life.  

 

I remember what my Grandpa said when he lost one of his good friends.  (Grandpa was in his late 80's when he said this.)  "Who will be left to miss me when I pass when all my friends are leaving before me?"  as tears slid down his face.

 

Life doesn't get easier in all aspects as you age.  Some aspects get harder.

“I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.” St.Teresa of Calcutta
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: I Thought When I got Older.....

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I hear ya.

 

 

Our lives are made up of firsts and lasts.

 

First steps, first words, first day of school, first date, first car, first home, first pet, first job.

 

Then as we get older, it becomes the last day of work, last home, last car, last pet, etc.

 

We have to come to terms that some dreams will remain unfulfilled, that there will be places that we always wanted to see, but never will.

 

It can be a hard, bitter pill to swallow.

 

It just makes us more keenly aware of just how precious and fleeting the passage of time is, and to cherish those around us while we still have them in our lives.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 35,893
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Re: I Thought When I got Older.....

I think when we are younger, we have so much going on and responsibilities to fulfill, that we are nearly overwhelmed, at least I was.

 

I had very young children and a full career when I lost my wonderful dad to a rare brain cancer.  I realized what was going to happen, but couldn't let myself realize the time involved. 

 

I lost my grandmother, whom was the main female influence in my life when I was 28, married only 3 years, and living out of town.  I was so very upset by her loss, I kept passing out when I was around her things.

 

I think the stresses of life pull us away so we don't drown in grief, and the life stresses make us get up the next day.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,635
Registered: ‎05-01-2020

Re: I Thought When I got Older.....

I'm sorry you're hurting. Two thoughts - 

~ shifting your focus to gratitude for the time you had can help

~ keeping the big picure in mind, you're only separated for a very short time

 

hugs

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,221
Registered: ‎10-03-2014

Re: I Thought When I got Older.....

I grieve for what they went through in their later years when I think that should be a time for enjoying retirement and their elderly years, not suffer from pain and a bunch of medical issues.  

 

I've seen this with my dogs, now my aging parents, and friends.   

 

Sure, there's an explanation for it, but I don't think it's fair: however, we must accept it because there's no other recourse when our bodies begin to wear out and we have something that is ultimately untreatable.  Life is a struggle worsening as we get older.  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,033
Registered: ‎04-04-2014

Re: I Thought When I got Older.....

Hi, @wismiss !  I posted on your message about Schatzi.  Again I'm so sorry for your loss!

 

I will be 66 next week and have come to believe that our lives are a series of doors opening and closing.  It happens in jobs, in relationships, in friendships, in each day of our lives.  I also believe that the good that each of us do in our lives ripples through time and has profound influences on generations yet to come.  We are all so interconnected.

 

Your grandpa (and Schatzi)  lives on through you and you can pass him on to others in your family and friends.  All is not ultimately lost.  They will be waiting when we cross the Rainbow Bridge.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,158
Registered: ‎01-15-2017

Re: I Thought When I got Older.....

@wismiss  I think you're right about loss being harder as we get older. I lost my best friend 3 1/2 years ago to ovarian cancer. I still miss her and think about her every day. Her loss has left a huge hole in my life. I have a lot of other friends, but we always said we were sisters from another mother.💔

 

Super Contributor
Posts: 487
Registered: ‎09-05-2013

Re: I Thought When I got Older.....

This was such a difficult post for me to read -- it really struck a chord.  Butterflies in my stomach.  I think so many of you put into words the feelings and thoughts I have experienced recently about the passage of time and getting older -- I am 78.  Thanks to all of you for posting.

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,458
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I Thought When I got Older.....

I can still hear my Dad say to me " I want to see my mom again"  Tore me up. I hope he did. ❤️🙏

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,234
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: I Thought When I got Older.....

As I am getting older, I take loss much harder.  I don't recover well at all.  I know my heart will never toughen up, even if I would live to be 100!  As the years go by, you tend to have more losses and it's as though the circle of loved ones, whether it be relatives, friends, pets, gets smaller and smaller.  Also makes you realize how precious each and every day is and you want to treasure them.  Every day is a blessing and each and every loved one is as well.  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin