Community Chat

[makena]

I'd give anything to have my Dad with me to share a day.  We lost him over a year ago.  Toward the end he didn't remember our names much less our birthdays but I never gave it a thought.  We were spoon feeding him and not able to go out together and share a dinner.  Be grateful for what you have in the moment.

[NicksmomESQ]

  Happy Birthday @Plaid Pants 🎈💐 🎂!! You deserve a day of pampering. I’m so glad that you did that for yourself. You’re a wonderful daughter.

  Your Dad loves you very much.He knows how well you take care of him. He may not remember things but I’m certain he feels your love ❤️. Enjoy your time with your Dad.Please remember to take care of yourself.You matter too!! 💐

[september]

Happy birthday!   How nice that you got to treat yourself.  

My parents haven't remembered any of our birthdays over the last year....so I know it's kind of sad, but not intentional on their part.  

[Lapdog]

For 7 more minutes Happy Birthday!!!!!!!  

The spa and the crab legs and dinner with your dad, all parts of a pretty fine day!

[Moonchilde]

Happy Birthday, @Plaid Pants2! 🎉💐

I haven’t had to do what you’re having to do, but my mother did, and I know how difficult it is. You have my good wishes on this journey. I have a family friend who’s embarking on it.

I love pampering days, but I try to stretch mine out - haircut & scalp massage one day, spa pedi another, facial  occasionally, massage another week. I try to do one thing a week, with other little things that make me feel civilized sprinkled in. If you have any Groupon deals in your area, they definitely help with cost. 

I have a splash-out lobster lunch maybe once a month, another week a nice lunch that isn’t lobster but also involves spirits ;-) and every couple of months, afternoon tea. 

IMO “me time” is good for the soul...and your health.

Cheers!

[golding76]

Happy Birthday, Plaid Pants 2!  

What a wise soul you are.  I had no idea where your post would take me, and I was  saddened by what is happening with your father and that your birthday is now lost to him.

Your understanding and acceptance will help you go forward.  How kind and loving you are.

And, I must write again, you are very wise.

[Plaid Pants2]

I made and error. The bill came to $184. I was thinking of what it was once I had added the tip.

Oh, I also had an appetizer of baked oysters on the half shell.

[Sooner]

---

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Today, I went to a local day spa and pampered myself.

I treated myself to a massage, a facial and a hair cut and color.

It has been years since I last had a head-to-toe massage, and a facial.

Both were nice and relaxing.

Then I got a badly needed hair cut and color.

I haven't paid attention to my hair since January!

My hair looks so much better now.

I haven't gone because life got in the way, and I put my hair last.

The bill came to $315.00

Then dad and I went out for a very nice dinner.

He wanted the king crab legs (market price), because he hadn't had them in years.

Who am I do deny my father what he wants?

I had the king crab legs too, plus one cocktail, one glass of champagne, and for dessert, creme brule.

The total came to a whopping $218!😮

The crab legs alone were $121!

As I was settling up the bill, the waitress asked if it was somebody's birthday.

I said that it was, and she thought that it was my dad's.

I told her no, that it was mine.

"Oh, you should have said something! We would have put a candle in your dessert!"

I said that that was fine, that I wanted to keep it low key.

Dad said that he didn't even remember it.

On the drive home, Dad said, "It's your birthday, isn't it?"

I said that it was.

Then he said, "I'm sorry that I didn't get you a card."

I told him that that was okay, and not to feel bad about it.

Truth is, I knew that he wasn't going to remember that today was my birthday.

I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't hurt.

It does.

But I can't get mad at him for it.

What good would that do?

I'd feel bad.

He'd feel bad.

And I would feel bad for making him feel bad.

That's the thing about taking care of a loved one with memory loss.

The dates that were once celebrated, they forget.

Anniversaries.

Your birthday.

The birthdays of your children and grandchildren.

I don't feel sad for me, I feel sad for him.

I'm not here looking for sympathy, or "woe is me", or "poor me".

It is what it is.

This is my reality.

I may not like it, and at times I don't, but it is what it is.

So, happy 47th birthday to me.

---

@Plaid Pants2HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  It is funny how as time goes on birthdays are less special and "any day" means more the world to us!

Enjoy and thanks for sharing with u! 

[Dawnie]

Happy Belated Birthday Plaid Pants2 🎂🎉🍽🎈 What a wonderful way to celebrate your birthday with your sweet daddy. I'm sure he enjoyed the celebration!   🎶🎶and many, many more🎶🎶

[Mominohio]

Sounds like it was almost the perfect day. Perfect would have been to have your dad with full memory, but to still have him is such a blessing, and in good enough health to be able to go out with you.

I lost my dad when I was 18 and he was sick most of my life. It would indeed be a perfect day to be able to spend time with him again. 

Happy Birthday, and many many more happy and healthy days for both you and your dad.