Community Chat

[lovesrecess]

My mother’s house had a similar setup. The weeds behind her fence were her responsibility, but we didn’t know that until she received a citation. From the city because a few blades of grass exceeded 12 inches. The grassy area was about 18 inches wide between her fence and the alley. DH had to go out there and keep it cut and trimmed because there wasn’t even a gate.

[blackhole99]

My son rents a town house in the burbs and is ready to move closer to home and buy a house. We have always lived in a beautiful agricultural area( mostly farms) and when he shows me what he can afford and the neighborhoods, it's like,"are you kidding me"!  I would find it very hard to live in a neighborhood where you have no control over who is coming and going and how other home owners or renters keep their properties. Good luck.

[lovesrecess]

If your find another tag is on your property, take a photo of it on your phone and send to police. They keep a record of all tags to keep up with gang whereabouts and gang-related crime. They can also patrol the back area of your property and tell anyone who is homeless and sleeping there to move along.

[50Mickey]

I would send a lettert to the landlord requesting that he maintain the alley. Send pictures and let him know what has been going on. If he refuses to do this and you are not able to keep the weeds down hire someone. Hire someone to install motion detector flood lights around the back of your place. In the meantime start looking   for a new place. If you have family members ask them for their help. Good luck.

[cherry]

@Anonymous032819   You have been so good to you father. I hope you can find someplace nice. You deserve it

[x Hedge]

 @Anonymous032819  wrote:

My neighbors tend to keep to themselves.

In fact, I met one of my neighbors only once, and that was when he moved in.

They are quiet, nobody coming and going from either of them.

Across the alley from me, is a family, and they'll occasionally throw parties, but when 10pm hits, all is quiet.

    Good neighbours can have a tremendous impact on quality of life, and are worth their weight in gold.

Living in a "good" neighbourhood doesn't guarantee you'll have good neighbours.

Try "Goof Off" to remove the spray paint.

@BirkiLady , it's not unheard of for landlords to negotiate a reduced rent in exchange for the tenant being responsible for performing routine yard chores.

[Anonymous032819]

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@cherry wrote:

@Anonymous032819   You have been so good to you father. I hope you can find someplace nice. You deserve it

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@cherry 

Thank-you for saying that.

I hate that I had to place him in a home at the end, I feel as though I let him down, and worry if he thought that I didn't want him, or love him anymore.

But the truth is, at the end, he didn't even know my name.

And the very last time that I saw him, he didn't recognise me, know that I was his daughter, or know my name.

He was a fall risk who had to be supervised 24/7, and I know that I couldn't do that, plus, he was becoming violent.

At the home, he hit one worker, sending them to the hospital.

He was never a violent man when he was healthy.

Plus he was wandering around naked, and this from an extremely modest man.

So, thank-you for saying what you did.

It mean a lot.

You're a real sweetheart.

[cherry]

Listen to me. I had to put my mom in a home too..It broke my heart, but at some point you have to decide that you aren't super woman and you can't do everything . Sometimes you have to make hard choices

If it happens to me, I want my children to know they need to do what is best for all of us, them included. I am sure your dad got good care ,and it might have stopped you from having a nervous breakdown...so don't ever berate yourself for what you did

[Anonymous032819]

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@cherry wrote:

Listen to me. I had to put my mom in a home too..It broke my heart, but at some point you have to decide that you aren't super woman and you can't do everything . Sometimes you have to make hard choices

If it happens to me, I want my children to know they need to do what is best for all of us, them included. I am sure your dad got good care ,and it might have stopped you from having a nervous breakdown...so don't ever berate yourself for what you did

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@cherry 

My  dad had to take care of his own father when he developed dementia, and eventually had to place him in a home, so my dad knew what that was like first hand.

I was (and still am) working a 40 hour week, with no help, so it was just me taking care of my dad.

I know that he wouldn't have wanted me to take a leave of absence from my job, just to be by his side 24 hours a day.

In my head, I can hear my dad say, "You did the best that you could, for which I am eternally grateful to you for. I don't know what I ever did to deserve a daughter like you. But, you had no choice, honey, you had to place me, because I wasn't 'Me' anymore. The 'Me' that you knew and loved and who raised you, was already gone. In the end, it wasn't me you were dealing with, it was the disease in human form. So don't feel bad that you had to place me in a home. It was the only thing that you could do for me."

I don't dwell on those feelings of guilt, in that I think about it every day.

I used to.

But, even though I don't think about it daily, I have to be honest, and admit that they are still there.

But I am slowly getting better.

It just takes time.

Thank-you again for being so understanding.

[dulwich]

@Anonymous032819   I am sorry to read about your troubles however it is not easy to just ‘move’ so you have to live with this current situation until you can move so you have to make sure you take care of yourself, kitties and your present home.

Very good idea to put up lights - and if you can keep the weeds down this should discourage, hopefully, anymore nasty ‘finds’.  Also lock your doors!!

 What about maybe talking to your neighbors, introduce yourself, and asking them about maybe forming a Neighborhood  Watch telling them about your recent problems as this affects them all.  They may not be receptive but worth a try.

Also any more problems call the police and keep on at them to get some patrols happening.

Not much helps but this is your current home so try to make it as good as you can until you can move.  Be safe you and your kitties.  Sending good thoughts and hugs to you all.