Community Chat

[hennypenny]

Anything from the heart is lovely.

Personally I think a plant is wonderful she will  have it for a long time and it is a pretty reminder. My advice is to to give what you think you might like. The cards are usually kept so that would be something I would do.

henny, a Rabbi's  daughter

[January121]

@Carmie .... THANKS!!!!

[January121]

@hennypenny ... THANKS!!!

[Drythe]

@Sooner 

DH and I did something similar for a coworker.  Manned the kitchen, kept the plates, cups, glasses, cleared away, took out loads of trash, ran the dishwasher, kept platters looking nice, left the kitchen clean, food packed away.

We asked them about it ahead of time, of course, they said later it was the most thoughtful thing they could imagine.

[Q-Checker]

@January121 @January 12

Unless you know that the family members are not observant Jews, I would stay on the safe side and assume that they are. Flowers and plants are NOT appropriate for a Jewish family in mourning. Issues with food have already been reviewed. The one thing I would emphasize is that the food be kosher if you know that the family eats only kosher foods. If you do not know this, it is safer to send kosher food. Fruit is always kosher unless it is prepared in a facility that is not. One mail order place that sends kosher foods in a variety of price ranges is Zabars in NY, which has online ordering. Donating to charity in memory of the deceased is the most widely practiced custom. Usually the family either designates a preferred charity or just suggests that the donor select a charity of their choice. This will be noted in an obituary or the information may be available from the funeral home. It is common to give to a charity related either to the health issue that caused the death, if known. or to a Jewish charity. One Jewish charity that I lprefer is Jewish World Serivces, which has excellent ratings and accepts online donations. Names of other local and national Jewish charities are readily available online. A visit to the shiva home is always welcomed although it is, of course, important that COVID 19 precautions be observed in accordance with the family's wishes. Shiva usually lasts a week but the time could be shorter in some circumstances or levels of observance. Of course, offers of help to the family either during the shiva, or later, are always a kind gesture as might be meals at a later point. And notes of condolence are also always appreciated.

[Iwantcoffee]

I send a donation to a charity listed in the obituary to honor the deceased. 

[speedy girl]

I have sent a nice hanging basket to a friend after a loss. The florist was able to send it for me. That way she can enjoy it all spring and summer and she doesn't have to do anything but hang it on a hook.  Just an idea. 

[January121]

@Q-Checker  ... THANKS for the great suggestions!!

[Q-Checker]

@January121 -- Hope that the suggestions will be helpful. Your cultural sensitivity is admirable and will be appreciated by the family.

[January121]

---

@Q-Checker wrote:

@January121-- Hope that the suggestions will be helpful. Your cultural sensitivity is admirable and will be appreciated by the family.

---

@Q-Checker  ... THANKS... they have been my friends since 1979 and have become part of my family .. I love them & want to do what is is right 🥰