I Need Some Advice - Page 5

colliemom4 · ‎09-08-2010

I've been given a gift card before and felt bad about it, but then the same person ended up asking me to do more favors for them and never gave me anything else. Maybe it's just a one time thing? I do know how you feel.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Some people do not like to feel obligated to anyone, and others just really are appreciative and really mean Thank You when they say it. Just accept it, and if she needs you again, I hope you can be there for her again. Good job.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Still Raining wrote:
Now I think of it I have only been given such rides and given them to close fiends. I would have been offended. We worked off our debts other ways. Dog sitting, picnics, gas for trips and such.

@Still Raining If you are thinking of them as debts to be worked off, maybe that's part of the idea of being offended. If you see them as acts of kindness to be appreciated, then maybe the "payback" wouldn't be as tricky. Then the appreciation and thankfulness becomes the payback.

You made me better understand the situation however. My mother was always worried about someone doing something for her and actually gave back to me several presents. I was always hurt but didn't say so, but I wish she could have just thanked me and made me feel good about doing it for her.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

@SXMGirl wrote:
Here's the story:

Last week, I took a friend to a doctor appointment that required her to be sedated. I volunteered to take her, she did not ask me, and I told her that it did not matter to me when she made her appointment. I treated her to lunch after her procedure. Everything is fine.

Today, in the mail, I get a thank you plus a $50 gift card, money that I know she cannot afford. I did not volunteer to take her to her appointment with the idea of getting any compensation. I am not happy about this. I realize that she had no one else to take her, but I don't think this is right.

So, any suggestions on how to handle this? It is an Amazon card, which I can always use, but I am uncomfortable with this, and maybe just a little offended that she thinks I should be paid for doing someithng that friends should do for each other.

What would you do? TIA!

@SXMGirl My Mom use to send me money in my birthday cards as an adult....she did not have the money to give me but sent it out of love. I always sent the money back and she gracefully accepted it. We played this game for years.....❤️

Your friend sent you a gift card....that is different. It is more of a gift. I think you could keep the gift card and she would feel good that you did. If it were money, then perhaps I would say return it with a Thankyou.

Regal Bee · ‎07-20-2017

@SXMGirl I haven't read the replies but your friend sounds like a gracious and kind woman. Be thankful for her and her sweet gesture. Also, love what you did for her.

TaylorBrown · ‎02-19-2014

Do you know that she purchased the gift card? It may be that she was gifted it and wanted to give it to you in appreciation of your kindness. I think it would be a bigger fuss to try to reject the gift.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@SXMGirl wrote:
@Sooner I am offended that she would feel the need to pay for a ride from a friend. I don't see why anyone would want payment for this unless in the taxi business.

@Nightowlz She is fine and able to drive now. Thanks for asking.

I don't see it as "payment". I see it as a gift. She wanted to express her appreciation. I completely understand feeling that it wasn't necessary. After all, friends do things for friends all the time, with no thought of getting anything in return. But she probably was feeling especially grateful this time and wanted to express that.

As much as I don't think friends should be compensating each other, I do think that it's nice every once in awhile for people to do something like this. It was a gift from the heart, and I don't see a reason to feel offended. Certainly her intentions were good, and I'm sure it made her feel good to do it. I would just accept it graciously and not say anything that might make her feel she did the wrong thing. She didn't. A thank-you gift, IMO, is never wrong.

kivah · ‎03-11-2010

I was in the hospital from March 2nd thru March 7th - before I drove myself to the hospital, I emailed a friend of mine that I'll be going there. Every day that I was there, she visited me - and even brought me an orchid plant. A few days after I arrived home, she came to my house and I gifted her with several L'Occitane products and a foam hand cleaner and refill. I put all of it in a nice gift bag. She appreciated it - and I appreciated her!!!!

Your friend is very kind - so appreciate her!!!!!

Daisy Sunflower · ‎10-26-2010

She appreciated what you did for her and it was her way of saying thanks.

I probably would have said thanks and told her that it was nice of her, but she didn't have to do that.

However, I wouldn't worry about figuring out how to "repay" her by taking her out for lunch, buying her something in return, or whatever. Don't go overboard with trying to do things for her because you feel "funny" about the thank you gift. It'll just make things stressful.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Daisy Sunflower wrote:

She appreciated what you did for her and it was her way of saying thanks.

I probably would have said thanks and told her that it was nice of her, but she didn't have to do that.

However, I wouldn't worry about figuring out how to "repay" her by taking her out for lunch, buying her something in return, or whatever. Don't go overboard with trying to do things for her because you feel "funny" about the thank you gift. It'll just make things stressful.

I agree! Taking her out to lunch at some point in the future (because you're friends) is fine, but not if it's going to look like some sort of repayment for the gift card. Anything other than, "Thanks! You didn't have to do that. You're so sweet." runs the risk of making her feel uncomfortable.

She WANTED to do this, and the appropriate response is to accept it graciously and with gratitude.