Community Chat

[SXMGirl]

Here's the story:

Last week, I took a friend to a doctor appointment that required her to be sedated.  I volunteered to take her, she did not ask me, and I told her that it did not matter to me when she made her appointment.  I treated her to lunch after her procedure.  Everything is fine.

Today, in the mail, I get a thank you plus a $50 gift card, money that I know she cannot afford.  I did not volunteer to take her to her appointment with the idea of getting any compensation.  I am not happy about this.  I realize that she had no one else to take her, but I don't think this is right.

So, any suggestions on how to handle this?  It is an Amazon card, which I can always use, but I am uncomfortable with this, and maybe just a little offended that she thinks I should be paid for doing someithng that friends should do for each other.

What would you do?  TIA!

[MalteseMomma]

Just accept the gift card and thank her very much.....

I am sure she knows you did it from your heart   

[threecees]

Your friend appreciates you and your kindness.

By giving the card back or not showing gratitude you will hurt

her feelings.

I would say you didnt have to do this but I really appreciated it and

would offer to help her in the near future if she needs a ride again.

[Krimpette]

I would thank her for her gracious gesture.   How nice of her to show her appreciation.

[Peaches McPhee]

I think you are making this all about yourself and your feelings, rather than her and her feelings.  Accept the fact that she wants to thank you in her own way.

[I am still oxox]

Say thank you and if you feel the need make an anonymous contribution to a charity with the money

[PinkyPetunia]

Graciously accept the gift card.  Your friend wants to express her thanks.  Just say it was thoughtful of her and leave it at that.  Your friend has some pride (to her credit) and doesn't want to take and take without reciprocating.  

[chrystaltree]

Well, she gave you the gift card so obviously she can afford it.  She was grateful for your kindness so be grateful and gracious in return and accept it.  The gift doesn't mean that she is PAYING you, if that's what you are concerned about.  It's just a lovely expression of her gratitude.  It's also possible that she is re-gifting a card that someone gave her because she knows you will use it.  I received 2 Amazon gift cards for Christmas that I intend to re-gift when the occasion arises.

[Scooby Doo]

Be gracious and accept the card.  Tell her that she's paid for the next trip as well.  Many of us don't want to be a burden and want to be independent and this is perhaps her way of staying that way emotionally.  May not make sense to you, but it's important to her.   I, too, don't want my friends or family to think I'm taking advantage of their time.  If it bothers you that much, maybe pick up the lunch check next time.

[SXMGirl]

@chrystaltree  I am hoping that she is regifting since I know that right now she is having financial difficulties. 

@Scooby Doo  I had already told her that if she needs to go anywhere, I will be glad to take her.

It is absolutely not about me.  Taking someone to an appointment is what friends do, especially when they have friends who have no one else.