Community Chat

[Suziepeach]

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@Leeny wrote:

@Suziepeach  I don't know all the answers. I agree with you, where are the privacy laws? I do know my cousin didn't get too far with the social worker. She told her to  call me and get my permission re: the telephone. 

If you look at my previous last post you will see I have come to a conclusion. It's the only way to have peace.

Thank You for your concerns.

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@Leeny, thanks for clarifying that for me.  I read already what you'd decided to do.  I hope it all works out for you!!  

[NAES1]

@x Hedge,

  ......"had read almost each one and yours had substance to (ME)!

 Dementia and Alztimer's are two different stages of health of the mind.

Has anyone actualy lived in a nursing home, speaking from here? I highly doubt it!

Loniliness is horrific for anyone, especially an elderly or someone 'stuck' in a nursing home. 

 Someone mentioned: some unmarried people are the ones who have too much on their hand and I believe it, especially those either retired or widowed. 

Take away the computers from the ONES here and ___there would be an idea of no socialization. 

There was no one that -HAD- any BEST answer by just taking the phone away, rather have the nurse (if one on duty) take her phone for the night and return for the day times hours. She is not that bad, functionally if she can have the Know How in calling or having a friend to talk with whenever. Have the daughter or even you, OP go over and spend some time with her. 

 "good grief this is not a scientific trigonometry equation"

           NAES

[Sandyx3]

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@Leeny wrote:

@Suziepeach  I don't know all the answers. I agree with you, where are the privacy laws? I do know my cousin didn't get too far with the social worker. She told her to  call me and get my permission re: the telephone. 

If you look at my previous last post you will see I have come to a conclusion. It's the only way to have peace.

Thank You for your concerns.

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@Leeny

 I am so sorry that you have to deal with your cousin who doesn't seem to respect the mother-daughter relationship (let alone POA) which supersedes the cousin/niece.  I can't imagine that the cousin/niece would like it if you did something like that to her.  What you are going thru with your mom's illness is more than stressful enough, without an outsider adding to the situation!  Please follow your heart, don't be pushed around ... You know what is best for your mom, and immediate family.  Sending you hugs and prayers for you and your dear mom.

[violann]

This situation is 

Not good for you

Not good for your mom

Not good for your daughter

Not good for your mom's caregivers

Not good for the facility

Not good for your mother's. Iece

If you need any more, let me know. If you believe you are correct in your stance, return the phone to the niece.

[gwiz]

The next time you visit your mother, take the cell phone with you when you leave (on the down low).  If the question comes up, "Mother must have lost her cell phone".  Many peole in nursing homes who have dementia or Alzheimer's disease don't even remember how to use or recharge a cell phone.  The ones that do remember how to use them often make a nuisance of themselves by calling people numerous times all day and night (as you described in your daughter's case).

I don't think it is the caretakers in the nursing home's job to take away the cell phone each night and return it in the morning.  These people have a hard enough job as it is. 

Your cousin should mind her own business. 

[KingstonsMom]

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@gwiz wrote:

The next time you visit your mother, take the cell phone with you when you leave (on the down low).  If the question comes up, "Mother must have lost her cell phone".  Many peole in nursing homes who have dementia or Alzheimer's disease don't even remember how to use or recharge a cell phone.  The ones that do remember how to use them often make a nuisance of themselves by calling people numerous times all day and night (as you described in your daughter's case).

I don't think it is the caretakers in the nursing home's job to take away the cell phone each night and return it in the morning.  These people have a hard enough job as it is. 

Your cousin should mind her own business. 

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@gwiz

While I agree with much of your post, I disagree to say " Mother must have lost her phone", as that could lead to the belief that her phone was 'stolen', leading to repercussions for the staff at the nursing home unfairly.

If she's confined to a nursing home, how could it be 'lost'?

[gwiz]

Good point @KingstonsMom.    Maybe tell the facility you are removing the phone and if mother misses it then tell her she must have lost it?

Isn't it amazing how much havoc can be wreaked by one busybody?

[pitdakota]

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@Leeny wrote:

Here is my last post regarding this whole fiasco. My mother's cousin's sister phoned my mother's social worker.. ( I know, it's unreal) 

What I am going to do, just to have some peace (hopefully) I'll have my DD phone number removed and the phone put on the nurse's cart at bedtime. Then the nurses will return the phone to her on her breakfast tray. 

Sometimes's like someone said, it's the little things that seem to break the camels back.

@CelticCrafter 

@Suziepeach@Plaid Pants2 @hckynut@Group 5 minus 1  @Annabellethecat66 

Thank You to everyone who posted. I guess some of you think I am caving in, but this just isn't worth all the grief right now. 

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Big hugs to you @Leeny.  In situations like this, sometimes you just have to make the decision at the time that will bring some peace so you can conserve your energy for more important things.  Sounds like a good plan for the present situation and I hope all turns out well.