Community Chat

[Leeny]

Thank You  @Annabellethecat66 for the kind words and your story. It's not easy and  I am trying to do my best. I have a lot going on in my life and this to me seems like it shouldn't be such a "huge" problem. 

What do you think about blocking numbers or taking the numbers off the phone that she is calling?  

[CelticCrafter]

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@Leeny wrote:

Thank You  @Annabellethecat66 for the kind words and your story. It's not easy and  I am trying to do my best. I have a lot going on in my life and this to me seems like it shouldn't be such a "huge" problem. 

What do you think about blocking numbers or taking the numbers off the phone that she is calling?  

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It's one of those things that can be the straw that broke the camels back.

[Leeny]

Here is my last post regarding this whole fiasco. My mother's cousin's sister phoned my mother's social worker.. ( I know, it's unreal) 

What I am going to do, just to have some peace (hopefully) I'll have my DD phone number removed and the phone put on the nurse's cart at bedtime. Then the nurses will return the phone to her on her breakfast tray. 

Sometimes's like someone said, it's the little things that seem to break the camels back.

@CelticCrafter 

@Suziepeach@Plaid Pants2 @hckynut@Group 5 minus 1  @Annabellethecat 

Thank You to everyone who posted. I guess some of you think I am caving in, but this just isn't worth all the grief right now. 

[esmerelda]

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@Leeny wrote:

I looked through all the forums and didn't see anything related to this topic. I hope you don't think I am being horrible. So here it goes. 

My mother is in a nursing home and she has a cousin that has interfered since day 1. I am the only child and I am my mother's power of attorney. A couple of years ago this cousin purchased a cell phone for my mother who has dementia and I expressed to her then I didn't go along with it at all. 

Now my mother is calling my daughter at all hours of the wee morning and then hangs up. She use to do this to me, but that stopped awhile back. My DD told me today she is not going to put up with this anymore and that I need to contact the cousin and have the phone removed. My mother hasn't a clue how to work this phone and yet her cousin says she needs it to keep her social.??? Any suggestions? 

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@LeenyThose two lines (underlined) are in opposition to each other, aren't they?  It sounds like she knows how to use the phone enough to call your daughter.

Take it away from her, tell the nursing home staff she isn't to have one, and tell the cousin to save her money and not buy more as they will be taken away.

I'm sure other replies have said the same thing.

And can't your daughter block phone numbers?

[esmerelda]

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@Leeny wrote:

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@ncascade wrote:

What makes the relative nosey?

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@Group 5 minus 1  That's a darn good question. She's never been married and I think she has too much time on her hands, but seriously I really don't understand it.

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@LeenyAnd she must be older than you are or you wouldn't let her push you around.

[x Hedge]

Can't figure out why your adult daughter didn't simply block the number, and end the annoying calls like you would with any other nuisance caller.
Instead, she dictates mom must contact the cousin and have grandma's personal property taken away from her..???!!!
In favor of confiscating private property?
What country am I in?
I don't remember reading where your rights were diminished along with declining functional capacity.
You say she hasn't a clue how to work the phone...but she's able to make phone calls. She may receive calls as well. You certainly could ask social services and activities staff to help direct her phone use to be beneficial to her and not annoying to others. Dementia has many levels and if your mother is receiving memory care phone calls to an old friend could be good for her health.

[scatcat]

My next door neighbor is in a nursing home with dementia. She calls people all day and night. The police had to get involved. Not in a mean way, just to put some common sense into the matter. You need to take the phone away from your mom. 

[Annabellethecat66]

@Leeny It's not like I know the answer but I think it's a 'no brainer' that since she suffers from dementia she doesn't need a phone.

It would be different and she was coherent and if there was a problem could call someone.  

It's sad when our loved one's are having difficulty (if affects the whole family) but it's not fair to your daughter to go through this.  

I tell my daughter that as long as I'm safe she must care for her children FIRST.  That's what you need to do.  You know your mom is safe, so you need to help your daughter have some peace in her life.

Look at it this way.....it can affect the way your daughter feels about your mom.  It's human nature to get frustrated for something like this to go on....

[Suziepeach]

How is it possible for someone to just call her social worker, is there no HIPPA law in this situation?  When my dad had his heart attack the hospital refused to give me any information until I faxed them all the paperwork that I was POA and then given a code  that when I called I was to give them that.  No one else could ask about his condition, they were referred back to me. so maybe I'm missing something here.  I find it quite strange that so many have access to this woman's social worker.  Only @Leeny should have the say about stuff..

[Leeny]

@Suziepeach  I don't know all the answers. I agree with you, where are the privacy laws? I do know my cousin didn't get too far with the social worker. She told her to  call me and get my permission re: the telephone. 

If you look at my previous last post you will see I have come to a conclusion. It's the only way to have peace.

Thank You for your concerns.