I Need Advice On How To Handle a Nosey Relative - Page 2

Posh Poodle · ‎06-27-2011

Nomorebirthdays · ‎06-10-2015

Years ago I had in law who was decided to give a phone to another of her relative that is alcoholic so she goes out until the bars closed and call people when she got home. That did not last long. I had to have her number blocked by the phone company.

I think I would give the phone to social worker as someone suggested, let them handle it. I was the bad guy for having blocked her calls at 2:30 in the morning, she never forgave me.

Posh Poodle · ‎06-27-2011

Leeny, I am serious with this suggestion: put the cousin's phone number, the one who gave the phone to your mother, into your mother's cell phone after deleting all the other numbers. Then your mom can call her at all hours of the day to stay social. Just see how long that will last.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

@Leeny You are a good person (seems like it) and a good daughter.

I think (no I know you knew the answer) but it's always good to hear from other's (reinforcement).

It sounds like you've done a good job already. Don't you ever let anyone cause you to question your decisions regarding your mom. She's YOUR mom and you know best.

My late husband and I waited 7 years to have children. We got married early (barely 19) but when I turned 26 I told him I wanted more than one child and we'd have to start. Back then people just didn't have children after 35 (and that was stretching it).

I had 3 daughters. I never wanted one child to be responsible for my husband and myself when we got sick or old. I was raised like an only child because my brother and sister were older. I have two younger 1/2 sisters but never lived with them.

I know we can't always guide what we want in life. I'm telling you all of this because it has to be difficult to be the one person responsible for an elderly parent. Just know I think it sounds like you have a good heart and are doing a good job. Don't question yourself. I think your heart is good. Fondly, Annabelle

Daisy Sunflower · ‎10-26-2010

@Posh Poodle wrote:
Leeny, I am serious with this suggestion: put the cousin's phone number, the one who gave the phone to your mother, into your mother's cell phone after deleting all the other numbers. Then your mom can call her at all hours of the day to stay social. Just see how long that will last.

I was going to suggest the same thing.

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

My sister is also in a nursing home with dementia. We had lots of phone issues. My sister knew not to call at night, but she'd call every 15 minutes from 7am until 3pm. I would take the phone home and put it in a drawer. When cousin mentions the phone is missing, I'd say I took it home because of the nightly calls. I'd tell her she can have it back if she didn't give it to mother. If she brings another phone, do it again.

kdgn · ‎03-09-2010

Someone at the nursing home must be helping your mother out-cell phones need to be charged. Does your mother have the capacity to understand that and charge it herself?

As POA, you have the right to determine who gives what to your mother. Just as the nursing home has to inform you of anything having to do with your mother-whether it's a change in medication, test results, she has a cold. Make sure the staff and administration knows that the cousin has no authority over your mother.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

Bottom line you are in charge of your moms care.This means that you get to make all of the decisions!! Bottom line the phone goes.No ifs ands or buts.Period!!!

Good luck! Your mom is in excellent hands!!

Katcat1 · ‎07-21-2011

@Leeny, Explain to this cousin about the calls and hangups and that if she does not remove the phone, I will. That is your mother not hers and she needs to butt out. I don't understand these people who insist on being a pain in the -------. Life is too short, take control of this situation.

kindness is strength