Community Chat

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@Sooner wrote:

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@RetRN wrote:

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@Bri369 wrote:

Don’t go and fake that you’re happy to be there

Crabby people should just stay home and let her celebrate with joyous people 

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Oh, so you think the OP is crabby, you might want to rethink that. Perhaps you are the crabby one, OP simply posted an honest statement and it sent you off the rails. Sad you have such an attitude.

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I thought saying "crabby" was funny.  I'm sorry but if you don't want to go I think you are a little crabby about it.  That's how I would see myself if I didn't want to go.  

It's ok.  Sometimes you don't feel like going somewhere.  Just because!  Just because you're a little frownie faced, crabby, don't wanna put up with it, dread having to be around people and be "up" for it!  It happens to me sometimes and now I just don't go!  Stay home and be crabby by myself and enjoy every second of it!  

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@Sooner...I'm not quite sure how you meant this, were you attempting to be funny or were you seriously calling the other poster crabby?

[libbyannE]

@dulwich 

I feel the same, but age has nothing to do with it. To me, baby showers have ALWAYS been torture. Not a fan. And now some have added gift-grabbing  “sprinkles” and gender reveal parties to the list. 

[qualitygal]

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@dulwich wrote:

Update -  Just spoken with gdaughter and I explained truthfully how I was feeling  - could not make up excuses - and we want to celebrate with her at maybe dinner next week.  Reply ‘no problem’ said she would rather go out and eat with us anyway.  All is well.

Thank you all for your input.

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Honesty and a great solution! Well done, atta girl.  

[chiclet]

Many years ago some people I knew had drop in showers on a weekday from 6-9.. You went by and chatted a little with the mom to be and ate some cake if you wanted it and left.  No games, no time limit to stay or a wasted Saturday.  If you could not make it you could just drop off the gift at your convenience.  I thought this would catch on like a wildfire but it did not.  

[violann]

I think I’m getting superduperVERYOLD! I can remember when showers, weddings, funerals, and similar events meant ADULTS ONLY!

Someone has come up with the relatively recent idea that dragging an innocent, potentially hungry, potentially bored to death infant/toddler/preteen to what was once an adult event is almost mandatory.

WHY???? Is a screaming whining non-adult as part of one’s entourage presently considered a status symbol? Non-adults should NOT be expected to act like adults.  I myself often feel like screaming or whining or lying on the floor and taking a nap when forced to attend some of my husband’s social gatherings, but having reached a certain collection of decades I have come to understand personally that such behavior ultimately effects your husband’s standing in the community.

Go ahead and try explaining that to the 3 year old you plan to drag to cousin Azalea’s son’s fiance’s Engagement Party.

I can remember ADULT festivities not to long ago that were quiet orderly gift grabs at which one could nibble, gossip, ignore or commiserate with others about lumbago, taxes, relatives, or others not in attendance etc.

WHEN did dragging a baby/child EVERYWHERE become “cool?

[qvcaddition]

@violann   now it is not simple shosers,  no babies, but couples.  Man and wife, or significant. Other.  A big blowout at a restaurant or home.  The one my daughter gave for my grandson was huge.  Cost a pretty penny.  

Then he gets up on stage and proposes to her the soon to be Mother.  This is a baby shower.  Like I said previously, I am old and can,t take the noise and the music, so I stayed home.  The baby will be a year old next month, and they still have not tied the knot.  Doesn,t make sense, but i,m from a different era.

[Pearlee]

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@jannabelle1 wrote:

@Bri369, what a nasty and uncalled for comment! From what I've read, the OP is anything but crabby!

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@jannabelle1   I couldn't agree more.  I've been reading @dulwich  's posts for years and she comes across to me as a kind and delightful person, someone I'd like to know outside the forums.   She has always been wonderful to her family members also, from her many posts I've read. One thing she isn't is crabby.

[jeanlake]

I think celebrations of this kind can be enjoyable but after a while it's the emotional 'law of diminishing returns.' Eventually, there's a point where doing more of the same will not bring the same satisfying results and we question our investment. My son and daughter have expressed similar comments about wedding and baby 'pre' celebrations and expensive wedding trips and they're only 30 something.

Evident I'm in a 'simplicity is a beautiful thing' stage of my life.  

[Daisy Sunflower]

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@chiclet wrote:

Many years ago some people I knew had drop in showers on a weekday from 6-9.. You went by and chatted a little with the mom to be and ate some cake if you wanted it and left.  No games, no time limit to stay or a wasted Saturday.  If you could not make it you could just drop off the gift at your convenience.  I thought this would catch on like a wildfire but it did not.  

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OMG!   lol

Never heard of "drop in showers". To me, it's a strange thing to do and it comes across as a gift grab. It's not something I would do.

[violann]

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@Daisy Sunflower wrote:

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@chiclet wrote:

Many years ago some people I knew had drop in showers on a weekday from 6-9.. You went by and chatted a little with the mom to be and ate some cake if you wanted it and left.  No games, no time limit to stay or a wasted Saturday.  If you could not make it you could just drop off the gift at your convenience.  I thought this would catch on like a wildfire but it did not.  

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OMG!   lol

Never heard of "drop in showers". To me, it's a strange thing to do and it comes across as a gift grab. It's not something I would do.

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A “shower” has ALWAYS been a gift giving event. Hence the name “SHOWER”- the bride, mom-to-be, with necessary goodies AND GOOD WISHES.

BUT——— (and once again, I’m referring to the Late Stone Age, when I was a Young Bride), THE ONLY PARTICIPANTS TO THESE SMALL COZY SOCIAL EVENTS WERE CLOSE ACQUAINTANCES TO THE HONORED GUEST, always those to be invited to the wedding, or close associates and family members of the Mother to Be.

I think @aubegirl refers to this kind of quiet, supportive, convivial event hosted at home or less frequently at a work site or in a religious hall.

Gifts weren’t budget breakers, but they WERE necessities, because many young couples/new parents NEEDED things to set up housekeeping and provide for the basics of a household (we didn’t live together until someone decided to “put a ring on it”) 

So however you define the motive @Daisy Sunflower, the actual execution Was MUCH LESS of an ambush than you seem to think. In fact, it was not even considered unusual in my area of the world to give a shower for a single man or woman who was setting up a home, for some reason or another, as a single person.

If anything, those homely relaxed events of the past have morphed into something different since social mores have dictated the “everybody is entitled to everything at exactly the moment they want it or else, so let’s play an icky party game and bring on the loot” perspective on contemporary life as we live it.