Re: I Hate Scammers That Prey on the Elderly!

Marp · ‎03-09-2010

@Plaid Pants2, since one scammer connected with your father you can bet there will be others.

It might be a good idea to contact all of his financial institutions and see if you can set up transaction alerts, preferably alerts that require you to authorize each transaction.

The alerts won't stop the attempts to scam but they would protect your father's accounts from being raided.

The eyes through which you see others may be the same as how they see you.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Plaid Pants2

Just an afterthought, would he go to an adult day program? Even just one day a week would provide you some relief that you need.

Judaline · ‎03-10-2010

A cop once told me that when they catch these guys who scam the elderly, their punishment is doubled if they scammed a senior. That's all I've got.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

can you have his phone fwd'd to you part of the time

PhilaLady1 · ‎03-11-2010

Bless you - thank goodness that you were able to protect you dad.

My husband and I get all of these scam calls. The grandparent scam, the IRS, the there's a problem with your computer, you are being sued, etc. You name it, we get them. The last call I received the scum told me " I'm from the computer company". Really ? That's all he's got ? Not even naming a company, just "I'm from the computer company". I hate these people, too. Gosh darn vultures preying on folks that are the most vulnerable.

RespectLife · ‎02-27-2012

I was in your shoes for several years.

The phone issue was the HARDEST! Mom could no longer figure out cell phones, and I couldn't take away her landline.

No matter how many times I cautioned her, this once brilliant woman had lost all her powers of discernment.

I was joint on all her accounts as well but in the early stages, could not be with her 24/7.

Every call she believed. She gave out info like there was no tomorrow.

Not only was it scammers, but it was solicitations for donations from supposedly 'reputable' charities she fell prey to. Mom was always very generous, but her gifts never saw the light of day of helping some people with these organizations.

My last option was to remove the majority of her savings from our daily joint checking account and put it in a new joint account. I then removed all trace of the account from her home.

I left her 'spending' money in the checking account only. She soon forgot about the rest anyways! No worries that she would be drained financially. She had no records or memory of that new account.

I also contacted Discover and had all transactions flagged to my email. I was able to watch it all. If she used her credit card for a phoney donation/transaction, I called Discover and put a stop to it. They were FANTASTIC and understanding.

Caring for Mom with Alz. was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I had no other family helping me. I truly understand your need to vent.

Best wishes to you....

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

Thank-you, everybody, for your kind words.They mean a lot.

Dad can still take care of himself, to a certain extent.

For example, he knows how to call a cab, dial-a-ride, work a microwave, take his meds.

He's very routine on his meds.

He won't use a stove or oven anymore, because he's afraid of forgetting.

On my days off, I take him wherever he wants or needs to go.

But you can tell that the memory lapses are there.

Today he had a doctor's appointment at, what he thought was 1:00.

I normally have today off, but there was a mandatory meeting that I had to attend at work.

It takes me half an hour to drive from work to home, and I normally get off of work at 1:00.

Dad took dial-a-ride to the doctor's office, and remembered to take his meds with him.

After I got off of work, a part of me just wanted to just go home, but, I thought that I would see if Dad was still at the doctor's office, and if he was, I would take him home.

He was still in the lobby, because his appointment was at 1:45.

I went with him when his name was called.

His weight is 180, height is 5 foot 5 1/2 inches, excellent blood pressure.

He has a sore on his ear that he keeps picking at, and the doctor thinks that it might be skin cancer.

I am waiting to find out when the appointment with the plastic surgeon is to remove the growth.

I told the receptionist to call me with the appointment time, because I knew that Dad wouldn't remember.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to write a novel, but while Dad can do some things for himself, I am seeing that he is starting to need me more.

And I have also noticed that he is affected by sundowning.

That's when he's the most confused.

Oh, at the doctor's, he was confused about when he quit smoking.

He thought it was 20 years ago, when in reality is more like 40.

He also thought that he is going to be 90.

I had to remind him that he already is 90.

So, Thank-you again for all of your kind words.

They really do help.❤

jannabelle1 · ‎09-12-2010

By all means, vent as much as you need to....it's not easy to care for elderly parents and it can be very worrisome. It's also a good reminder that we all need to be vigilant because our elderly parents and friends can be so suceptible to scams. Some years ago I found out that my dear mother had signed up for an automobile warranty program (not sponsored by her car dealer). She hesitated to tell me until 5 or 6 months after the fact. The company had sent her a postcard in the mail that made it sound like it was from the car manufacturer, i.e. that her warranty had expired and she needed to contact them, which she did. My mother was in her late 80s and didn't even drive any longer. I knew it was a scam and a total waste of money because the company had been in the news with pending prosecutions. It finally took a call by me to our state attorney general who got involved and got the contract cancelled and a full refund of the hefty monthly debits to her checking account. And yes, she had signed a contract with this company and provided all of her financial information to them before she finally told me. The lesson learned was to be vigilant because she believed anything that was sent to her and by people who called her on the phone.

muffininmilton · ‎09-01-2017

Can your Dad's doctor help you to get someone into the house to be with your Dad. I've been through the same situation - trying to work full time, only child, mom legally blind, dad with dementia. I ended up in the hospital. You NEED a break! We have this dynamic with our parents, even when they're elderly, even when they're clearly diminished, that we must not defy their wishes. Someone on the outside, like your Dad's doctor, or a social worker in his practice, can change up that dynamic.