@Jordan2 My mother was 92 and fell December 2, 2018 and hit the back of her head. She had a severe gash. I was her caregiver for so long. I have a masters degree in nursing, and I have been a home health nurse/executive for 39 years. My mother was so sick that I could not do all of her care myself. I was exhausted, that is a natural and expected feeling. While in the hospital from the fall, she developed urosepsis, then on January 11, 2019 she had a heart attack. We bounced back from the hospital to the skilled nursing facility from December 2, 2018 until Mach 15, 2019. I found the most wonderful private assisted living facility for her where she was well cared for. My brother and I would switch off going everyday to see her. From March until the end of June 2019 she did pretty good. Then the dragon came back, she started to have heart problems. She died at the assisted living under hospice care on August 11, 2019 and she was 93.
You will never regret what you did for your mother, I would look for assisted living over a nursing home. If you live near St. Augustine, Fl I can point you to the 1 my mother was in. We had some very good times and laughs with my mother up until 3 days before she died. We cherish those memories.
Everyone was afraid that I would be lost after mom died but I have found freedom in the time that I have. When she was so ill, I could not definitively plan anything. It was difficult to plan to even get a hair cut. I never knew when the next emergency would happen.
I miss my mom terribly. Her birthday is January 19th, so that milestone is in a few days. I will watch her videos and cry I am sure. I still cry everyday and that is normal. She will always be my mother. I talk to her in spirit. I feel her around me. My mother never wanted me to be sad.
I feel sorry for you because I know what you are going through. Just do your best and you will never regret it. Our moms have had long lives.
In the end I did her eulogy at her funeral and I said "she was free of that body that frustrated her so." My mother was an active person and hated that after the fall she was basically confined to a wheelchair.
I think you need to try and give yourself some free time and a break, When my mother was in the nursing home skilled nursing facility, we had a aide sit with her at night to keep her from trying to get up and falling. It was expensive but thankfully, we had the money to do it.
I forgot to say that the months that we had from January 11th until August 11 my mother prepared us well for her death. She told me every single day how beautiful I was, and that I was the most wonderful daughter in the world because I did everything for her for years. She used to tell me that I was going straight to Heaven. We laughed but then I would look a her and say "you are telling me this so I will remember when you are gone" and she would say "that right, I want you to be happy, you deserve it above anyone else". Those times and conversations with her at the end are priceless. I had a nice talk with her the last day she was able to talk. We were alone and I told her what a great mom she was, and how much I loved her. She told me the same, we hugged. I was practically in the bed with her. You will never forget these moments.
Remember you have done a great job with your mother. Better than any daughter could do. Being the caregiver is so stressful and hard. In fact, the day I put her in hospice, I developed shingles on my face. The stress was unbearable.
Hugs and prayers to you. Message me if you want. I know alot about how health care systems work. You can use my professional experience if you need it.
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