Community Chat

[haddon9]

My mother is 93 and when she was in her mid 80s fell & broke her hip....she recovered well. 

Then a few years after that she was in an accident.  She was in a public place and a man came up from behind her either running or walking fast, tripped and fell bringing my mother down.  He fell on top of her breaking her leg & neck. 

After being in the hospital and rehab she went home and has to have aides helping all the time.  For a year after the accident she had to wear a neck brace and hated it!...but though her life is different from before (she also has osteoporosis) she's doing well considering.

I'm telling you this because your mom just might recover and do well too.  She might still be around for a few more years...don't give up hope!

[aroc3435]

@Jordan2 My heart goes out to you, your sister, and to your dear mother.  Whatever the outcome is do not be troubled with yourself.  You have devoted so many years to her,  and have done your best, as you have said, and she knows that.

I will keep the three of you in my prayers.  And the crying you are experiencing is natural when you care so much for her and have been forunate enough to have enjoyed her presence for so long.

I wish you all patience and peace for whatever comes.

aroc3435

[Jordan2]

Thanks so much to everyone again. It's nice to know all of you care. I will keep you posted on what is going on with my mother.

[Meowingkitty]

I agree with the poster who suggested hospice. They are great. Hospice doesn't meant the end. She can be put on hospice for 6 months and if she gets well they can remove her. While on hospice they help give you some much needed breathing space, provide necessary medical aids, bathe etc. and make sure she has everything she needs. They are available 24/7. My aunt had a similar incident in 2018 where she fell and broke her femor. She was 93, had surgery but unfortunately while she came through surgery and improved for a short time she basically gave up. She had so many health issues unrelated to the broken leg. Hospice was there for it all. 

[sfnative]

@Jordan2 

I'm so very sorry for all that your dear Mother, plus you and your sister are going through.

Frankly, I don't like the direction insurance and thereby medicine has taken regarding anyone past the age of 70 is concerned.  The early release of your Mother and what sounds like the development of pneumonia is clearly on their hands.  Period.  I've seen this time and again.

I hope and pray you're able to find a decent nursing home for your Mother, with caring staff.

It appears a great deal of your life as been directed toward the daily needs and care of your mother.  I am concerned with regard to your welfare, once she had passed.  You must place some effort now into determining what your place will be in this world and what activities will best catch your interest, in order to fend off years and years of grief.  I do hope you'll give this some thought, in those brief moments now, as you deal with decision making regarding your Mother's most pressing needs.

[reiki604]

Sending you prayers.

[Greeneyedlady21]

@Jordan2 I'm so sorry. I took care of my Mom too for over three years (really even longer than that, even when she was healthy I did), I lost her in 2018. My Mom was the nicest, sweetest person too. We were best friends and I miss her so much every day. Her birthday was this week.

Everyone's situation is different, but I understand your feelings and your pain. 

[roeroe1005]

Jordan,

I will second everyone's advice to you.  Please do not beat yourself up.  You are doing everything possible to have mom as comfortable as possible during this extremely difficult time. 

I was the main caregiver for both my parents and it is impossible to have your eyes on them 24/7.  As long as you and your sister agree on mom's care, that is the most important.  

My thoughts are with your mom, your sister and you.

[Lattelvr]

If only I could hug you in person!  I know firsthand how hard being a caretaker is.  My sister and I took care of our mom when she got sick and she wanted to be home.  We shared the responsibillty but my sister was 24/7 with her.  It took a toll on my sister physically and emotionally especially since we only had one home health aide from the hospital visit a week.  Please keep reminding  yourself you provided the best care for your mom that you could and it was you, her daughter, who was there!  I wish you and your sister peace and hope and pray your mom pulls through.  

[Georgiagrama]

@Jordan2  Having been thru similar situations with both of my parents, I almost can't respond without getting emotional. 

I will say, it sounds it you have done your best, and done all that you can physically do.  Please, take this time to enjoy your Mom, try to make her smile, try to remember fun times and help her be at ease.  It's a hard road, and I will pray that your Mom and your family will find some peace.