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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,788
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

It's a very stressful thing when our parents are ill.  Please know that we understand.  Also, if you are not satisfied with your mother's care in a rehab, feel free to change to another.  We had to do that and the difference between the two was night and day.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,755
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

@panda1234 Thank you, i cried reading your post. I am glad to have written something that touched someones heart. I miss my mom so much but I have those beautiful memories and we were both at peace when she died. She was an awesome mom and I will be so happy to see her again.  Tomorrow is her 94 th birthday. We celebrated her birthday last year in the skilled nursing facility.  She was so ill but took took pictures of us. Even in the SNF we spent good times making puzzles together and just talking. She knew she was going and prepared me and my siblings for it. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,875
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

@conlt wrote:

@panda1234 Thank you, i cried reading your post. I am glad to have written something that touched someones heart. I miss my mom so much but I have those beautiful memories and we were both at peace when she died. She was an awesome mom and I will be so happy to see her again.  Tomorrow is her 94 th birthday. We celebrated her birthday last year in the skilled nursing facility.  She was so ill but took took pictures of us. Even in the SNF we spent good times making puzzles together and just talking. She knew she was going and prepared me and my siblings for it. 


@conlt I feel the same way about seeing my mom again. There is a special bond like no other between a mother and daughter. I have two children and a wonderful husband but the greatest love of my life is my mom. I am not diminishing my relationship with my husband or children but there is a person in most everyone's life that has a special impact on them. It could be your spouse, an aunt or grandparent and a strong bond is formed. It was nice you were able to spend time with her as well. I tell my kids LOVE is spelled TIME and it is true. I am sure she knew how deep your love was for her. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 945
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:

My mother is 91, she'll be 92 in about ten days. She fell back in October (not on my watch) and broke some bones in her hip. She spent a short time in the hospital, then was in rehab for 10 weeks. The care there was not good. She was beinging discharged, my sister and I felt she wasn't well enough to go home, we appealed and were denied. She came home, last Thursday, saw a visiting nurse on Friday (to open the case), and saw a PT and OT therapist once each. I was taking care of her (I was in over my head), I didn't get a home health aide until yesterday, 6 days after she was released). Well yesterday the visiting nurse didn't like how her lungs sounded, I called an ambulance and we went to the ER. She was admitted, she's not doing well. I have taken care of my mother for so long, I tried my best when she came home, it was too much for me. I don't know what I'll do when she's gone, I devoted my life to her. My sister and I are now looking into nursing homes for my mother. My mother is the nicest sweetest person, I don't want her to suffer, yet I will be devastated when she's gone. My life is going to be so different, thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.


I'm so very sorry that you've been under such incredible pressure for so long.  Don't suppress those tears.  Cry all you want to or need to.  Take one day at a time.  Cherish what time you have left with your mother.

 

Prayers for your mom, you, and your sister.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,685
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Oh, what a sweet dear daughter you are - raised by a loving mother.   Bless you and your mother, your entire family at this time.   Stay strong and know that we care Heart

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,970
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Awww, @Jordan2, I am so very sorry.  It is so very, very hard to go through this with a parent.  I don't think anything I can say will make it better, but just know that we care and are sending cyber hugs and prayers.  Heart  

 

You have been and continue to be an excellent daughter.  

 

 


* Freedom has a taste the protected will never know *
Valued Contributor
Posts: 587
Registered: ‎06-30-2014

@Jordan2 wrote:

My mother is 91, she'll be 92 in about ten days. She fell back in October (not on my watch) and broke some bones in her hip. She spent a short time in the hospital, then was in rehab for 10 weeks. The care there was not good. She was beinging discharged, my sister and I felt she wasn't well enough to go home, we appealed and were denied. She came home, last Thursday, saw a visiting nurse on Friday (to open the case), and saw a PT and OT therapist once each. I was taking care of her (I was in over my head), I didn't get a home health aide until yesterday, 6 days after she was released). Well yesterday the visiting nurse didn't like how her lungs sounded, I called an ambulance and we went to the ER. She was admitted, she's not doing well. I have taken care of my mother for so long, I tried my best when she came home, it was too much for me. I don't know what I'll do when she's gone, I devoted my life to her. My sister and I are now looking into nursing homes for my mother. My mother is the nicest sweetest person, I don't want her to suffer, yet I will be devastated when she's gone. My life is going to be so different, thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.


@Jordan2 I won't bore you with the details of my story, but trust me when I say I know how you feel.  I lost my Dad recently and I too was his caregiver.  I am now the only one left in the family home and am trying to  find my way. I imagine it's gonna take time, but I question how long and I know I shouldn't.  It's going to take as long as it takes and I should allow myself the time to grieve and everything else, but still I try to get myself going and it's just not happening, I'm tired of fighting myself.  I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be trying to help you, but this allows me to think things through.

 

It will be different when Mom is gone, but you fill find that you are stronger than you realize.  You'll need to give yourself TIME.  Only TIME will help you adjust to your new normal.  But don't beat yourself up because you don't think it's happening fast enough.  It'll happen when it happens.  But let it happen naturally.  Think of all the good times with Mom.  And know that you did the best you could for her.  Don't let guilt move in, because it will try to take over your mind and make you start questioning yourself, you have to be strong don't let guilt move in.  I hope this helps you in some small way and please know that you are not alone.  Stay strong my friend, stay strong.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,417
Registered: ‎02-09-2016

@Jordan2 My prayers and lots of hugs for you, your sister, and of course your Mama. Heart

Super Contributor
Posts: 275
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: I Can't Stop Crying

[ Edited ]

Jordan,  I'm sorry you are going thru this.  It sounds like she needs to be in a nursing home.  Do not feel guilty about that decision.  Not everyone is able to care for a loved one in their home. I know when I lost my own dear mom, 14 years ago, I was so glad to have my sister to lean on during this time. You and your sister are in my prayers!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,319
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

In addition to  what I'm going through with my mother, I have a terrible cold probably because I didn't take care of myself. My sister and niece went to visit my mother (I stayed away today), well they go in and my mom isn't there. She was moved, she has shingles and is in isolation in a private room. She was moved either last night or this morning, why didn't anyone call my sister or me? I spoke to my mother today by phone, she said she's tired of all of this, like she wants to move on. I told her if she wanted to go, go, don't hold on for me and my sister, it was the hardest thing I ever said, it broke my heart.