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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,015
Registered: ‎08-31-2019

We all play many different parts in our lives. Only our closest family and friends know how we really tick.

 

For work and superficial social activities most of us primp and prepare and then say --- it's showtime. The performance (and demands) begins. We can be very good at it, too, but it can also be exhausting, at times.

 

At this juncture of my life, I'm thrilled that I no longer have to present this perfect appearance all the time. I avoid events I'm not interested in. 

 

I enjoy a mostly solitary life of hanging out with my dog, communing with nature and a handful of friends, who accept me as I am, without any performances required.

 

It's fun to be free to just be. Drama and the associated stress are more easily contained. 

Regular Contributor
Posts: 208
Registered: ‎12-14-2010

@Jordan2  You are describing me perfectly!

We are what we are, I am finally comfortable with myself, but it took over 50 years. Definitely a loner, who much prefers being alone to being around anyone else. I do not get lonely or bored and really cherish my time alone.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,301
Registered: ‎06-15-2015

After reading the other replies, I wonder. I am pretty sure i am the only male that posted in this thread. Since mine seemed pretty different than the others. 

 

First I will add this before getting to my point. I was a fat kid in grade school, and pretty much through my freshman and sophomore years. Was definitely an introvert. After I got the body I wanted, and felt I was no longer the butt of fat jokes. Decided to open my mind and my mouth. From there on, an introvert I was/am not.

 

Now. Could this be more prevalent in one's gender. By this, I mean just the 2 genders.

 

hckynut 🇺🇸

hckynut(john)
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,738
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2,

I like you!😊

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"
Honored Contributor
Posts: 46,932
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

@Jordan2 

 

You are not a fraud .... you're an introvert, and you were born this way. 

 

You developed the socializing skills necessary to function well in other circumstances ... sort of like being a psychological multi-tasker!

Valued Contributor
Posts: 798
Registered: ‎07-06-2016
@Jordan2

As another poster noted on another thread:

"People are overated"

I can't remember who said this so I apologize in advance. Who ever it was, please step forward. 😉 I love it!

Please be happy with yourself just the way you are; you're NOT a fraud. 🙂 Everyone is special in their way. So too are you.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,776
Registered: ‎06-13-2011

I am also a shy person but one would never know it from my performance at work.  Before I retired my job involved interactions with the public and my co-workers in the various veterinary hospitals where I worked.  I remember a client once stating to me that she could tell that I am a real people person.  I just smiled and thought to myself I am far from that.  

 

At work I had one persona and once I left the hospital I reverted back to my reticent personality.    I have never been comfortable in large groups, or at times, even in smaller groups.  Someone else stated in this post that she always ate lunch alone to recharge her batteries.  I was the same way.  I always hated when a co-worker or a former co-worker wanted to meet for lunch.  I loved being by myself and reading a book while I had lunch.  I wasn't a complete loner, I would on occasion meet someone for lunch but I tried to keep those times to a minimum.  

 

I'm lucky that my husband is also a shy and quiet person.  We aren't the life of the party type people.  Since we are both retired our life centers around our home, our pets, and just taking walks around the nearby marina and park near our home.  

 

Our home is our refuge and that is where we are the happiest.  

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 36,947
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:

I go to work everyday, I say hello to everyone, socialize, I am polite and think people have a favorable opinion of me. This is an act on my part, I put this "mask" on for the outside world, I am so not this person. I'm not good in large groups ( maybe I have social anxiety) but force myself to try and fit in. While I like people I would describe myself as a loner. I don't have this outgoing personality, but you would never know, I hide it well. I am a people pleaser, I guess if I showed people who I really am I think they wouldn't like me. 


@Jordan2 Maybe more people like this than you think.  I have always said one of my worst fears is "being myself."  I think the cranky child lies pretty near the surface in a lot of us and we work to overcome "being ourselves!"  I prefer to call it "being an adult" and doing the things you need to do.

 

You don't have to like people--you just have to treat them like you do!  And therein lies the secret--don't you think!  Woman Very Happy

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,819
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Years ago there was an informal poll among posters on this forum.

 

Question was :

 

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

 

The results were mostly introverts.

 

 

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,472
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

When I was younger I was outgoing and always had friends. My husband and I had a group of friends that were the best. One girl became my best friend. She passed and I never found another like her. I do have nice sister in laws.

I am 80 now and this is my life. I have the best husband and very grateful to have him.