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Occasional Contributor
Posts: 16
Registered: ‎07-24-2011

Husband Refuses Medical Help - What to Do?

I have been married for many, many years to a sweet, gentle, kind man. I couldn’t have asked for more. He has always taken great care of himself and has been in good health. About a year ago, he started having some physical issues with dizziness, balance and walking . He made the doctor rounds, was tested, and was checked out thoroughly. No one had a specific answer for him, so he basically gave up and has just been trying to treat his symptoms. Lately he has been having temper tantrums for no good reason at all and most of them are directed at me which is certainly upsetting to me and sometimes frightening. I’m not used to being yelled at especially by him.

I’ve tried discussing this with him and he doesn’t want to hear about it and doesn’t want to go to any more doctors. He sleeps erratically through the day and night. His erratic schedule also affects me plus the stress.

As luck would have it, his health insurance plan has contracted an outside health company that follows up on particular patients who have been recommended to them by his plan. They contacted us last week and a physician’s assistant visited our home this morning to evaluate my husband. I had an opportunity to fill her in before her visit on some of my husband’s issues and his more recent volatile behavior. They would be able to offer him a social worker, a physical therapist, and other services I think he would certainly benefit from. After she left, I asked him if he is going to participate and he said he didn’t think so.

Every day is a challenge. I don’t mind helping him in any way I can, but his attitude and tantrums are what’s upsetting me. I don’t know if this anger is something medical, or if it’s just his frustration at everything he's dealing with.

I thought I’d come here just to see if anyone else has dealt with this kind of situation with a loved one who is resistant to help and what you might have done either to convince your loved one to get medical help, or if not, how you dealt with it. TIA.