Community Chat

[Surfnturf]

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday. I would be a little hurt if a friend invited me out for lunch on my birthday, and when the bill came, didn't have enough money with her to pay the check, especially if I had offered to go dutch, and she declined. That wasn't nice.

[LyndaGee]

I'm sorry things didn't go as planned.

Ooops, forgot to wish you a happy birthday. Hope the rest of your day went great!

[bikerbabe]

The fake newbie snark is disgusting here. Sorry Jules. Happy Birthday!

[momma3gs]

Yup. Fake newbie. On her birthday. What is wrong with people?

[Preds]

Sorry, I tested one.

[Preds]

Brought some more to help calm some down.

[VanSleepy]

Obviously $20 wouldn't be enough, but the first thing I'm thinking is that $34 sounds like a lot for 2 lunch specials and no alcohol. Happy Birthday!

[spindlegirl]

On 6/20/2014 momma3gs said:

On 6/20/2014 BuckleBunny said:

Why not just be appreciative that someone thought enough of you to spend time with you on your birthday?

Why not just admit if you were a good friend to someone and anticipated a birthday lunch (and we've all had them with our friends and know what to anticipate), that you would be a little disappointed, too, instead of making a snarky comment.

WIth all due respect isn't this called Viewpoints?

[Sabatini2]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

And for what it's worth, I would've felt exactly the same!

[spindlegirl]

On 6/20/2014 Jules5280 said:

First let me say, I am trying to be grateful, but at the same time I am a little irked. Today is my birthday, it's been a difficult time for me lately without my dad, and also with no family nearby to celebrate with. My lady friend from the nursing home asked me a couple weeks ago if she and her friend could take me out for lunch on my birthday, so of course I said yes and thought that was very sweet and thoughtful. Originally her mother had said she wanted to take me out because I have taken them out on several occasions, but somehow her mom didn't end up in the equation, it was my friend and one of her friends that I have met. I have run errands for this friend before, going out to pick up some of her groceries and paying for them when she couldn't get out. Anyway, they wanted to take me to IHOP, which is fine, I like their pancakes. It wouldn't be my first choice, but I thought the gesture was sweet, and it would be nice to enjoy their company.

This morning after I have showered and was getting ready, my friend called and said her friend (she refers to her as sister because she used to be a nun), sister can no longer go because her 2 adult nieces are going to be stopping by, but my friend would still like to take me out. I am thinking to myself, that is kind of rude to cancel on someone the morning of their birthday, and couldn't she have told her nieces that she had lunch plans to take someone out for their birthday, so could they come by perhaps an hour later? I mean, lunch at IHOP doesn't take that long, and it's not like we were going out all day. Anyway, I tell my friend that lunch with her would be nice, and she suggests we go a little later and go to Applebee's so I say fine. I asked her if she was sure she still wanted to do this on her own, and we could just go "dutch", but she said no, she wanted to take me out for my birthday. My friend doesn't drive, so I needed to go pick her up, load her walker into my trunk, drive us to the restaurant, but it's a beautiful day and I am looking forward to lunch. We ordered lunch specials, both our entrees were the same price, although she got a senior discount, she had hot tea and I had a lemonade. At one point she asked me if I wanted a margarita, and I said no I was fine with the lemonade. No dessert, nothing fancy. So the bill comes, and it is $34 with tax. I see a look on her face and ask her if I can help. She says yes, she didn't bring enough money. She puts down a $20... not sure how she thought $20 would cover 2 people for lunch with tax and tip??? She has been out to restaurants, so she knows how things are priced. I'm thinking to myself it's a good thing I stopped by the ATM first because I had a feeling this would happen. The waitress had been very sweet and deserved a 20% tip, so I ended up putting in $21. It's not the money, it's the fact that when someone says they want to take you out for a special occasion under the pretense that they are taking you out, it seems odd to end up paying for yourself. When I dropped her back home we hugged, and she said "I hope you enjoyed your birthday lunch." as if she had treated me to the whole thing. I was polite and said I had a very nice time, but the truth is, if I had wanted to take myself out for my birthday (which is essentially what happened) I would have chosen another place and ordered exactly what I wanted, rather than trying to keep things dialed down knowing she has a budget. Perhaps I am just gullible?

I am trying to laugh about it, but this has to rank up there with one of the worst birthday experiences I've had. I would have preferred to stay home, save my money, and watch a movie. It's still a beautiful day, although hot, so I am going to wait awhile and then take Mia to the park and enjoy the afternoon with her.

I'm sure some people will interpret this post as "griping", but I just think it's wrong to invite someone out, pick the place even, and not be prepared to pay for it. What if I hadn't had any money on me, how embarrassing to be washing dishes on my b-day.

To answer your question "How would you feel?" I'd think about what the ladies in the nursing home deal with every day and I'd try to count my blessings. Happy birthday. :-)