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Super Contributor
Posts: 266
Registered: ‎01-05-2012

Re: How would you answer this friend?

You must feel very hurt. 45 years is too long a time to give up on a friendship, for both of you.

Maybe something else is going on that she doesn't want to share. Money problems, marriage difficulties, kids etc. Could be a thoughtless lapse.

Let it go for now, but don't write her off permanently. Life changes in the blink of an eye and regrets are tough to banish.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,839
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

From the OP.....Ok thank you so much for the replies. I appreciate it. I will shake it off and let the ball in her court.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: How would you answer this friend?

Another forum I belong to talked about skills we all need to develop. One was...The act of 'How to know when it's time to 'cut & run' (relationships, jobs, routines, goals). The idea is...being in a bad relationship is easy to ID a 'cut & run'...but even if it's a long-time relationship meeting once a year....even those could qualify as a 'cut & run'. You just don't have anything in common anymore...other than the number of yrs you've known each other. You've grown apart. Why stay in a relationship just because you had the same 3rd grade teacher? It's OK...just cut & not run, but walk away. It's OK. Grow ups can do that.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,592
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

I would give her some space right now. There might be things going on in her life that she can't talk to you about right now. Or...she might be very disorganized, and can't figure out a good time to get together.

Don't take it personally, but just wait it out and let her be the one to make the next move.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,973
Registered: ‎09-08-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

I would just wait for her to contact me.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,559
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

I would re-embrace this relationship in the same way she has -- with some indifference. Don't make a big deal about any of it, let it go and let her decide when they have time for you. Then you decide if you have time for them.

Sometimes friendships take a break for a year or a few and people are able to pick up where they left off like it was yesterday. If you continue to feel resentment, it's probably in need of a break.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

On 11/20/2014 Joselyn33 said:

The ball is in her court. Don't write her back after Thanksgiving. If she wants to see you all then, she can set it up. Don't feel obligated just because you've known her 45 years.

{#emotions_dlg.thumbup1}

It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our mission to arrange the meeting. U.S. Marines
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,592
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

Speaking for myself...I would not give up on a 45 year relationship, because of problems that have been going on for 2 months. I don't throw people away that easily! Kind of surprised at some of the responses here. Have none of you ever been though a period where you couldn't give your usual amount of attention to some of your friends?
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,940
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

We can't know what is going on in another's life that they may not feel comfortable sharing. It could be her husband who causes the delays and cancelations. It could be that she's experiencing bouts of depression.

I had a close friend but once we were married our husbands didn't care for each other, truth be told, I didn't care for her husband either so we saw less and less of each other.

So, my advice is to not take it personally and continue to keep in touch and if she finds a time to get together go and if not forget about it, dinner out together isn't all that.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,747
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How would you answer this friend?

When she mentioned the dishwasher the first thing that I thought of was the cost of the repair made them have to postpone going out to dinner. Then other expenses may be coming up such as Thanksgiving dinner etc.