How to tactfully ask the mailman to not ring bell (reasons..rop..ty..)

msh8970 · ‎02-06-2017

We have a regular mailman and overall he is really good..But when there is a package, he always rings the doorbell....Now, this sends the dog into complete orbit..and also sends my 88 year old father into panic mode (he suffers from PTSD and early dementia). The mailman knows we have a dog obviously, and knows my elderly father lives here, and I'm sure the mailman hears the dog going crazy as well as the 88 year old man 'screaming' inside the house...I've seen him chuckle to himself a couple times as he walks away..Which kind of surprises me, because I know he and his wife are both dog lovers (he's talked about his dogs before)..I would think he would 'get' that he doesn't need to ring the bell.....it's not like he's waiting for a signature or anything, plus he knows somebody is always home 99% of the time....and it might sound crazy, but between the dog going crazy and my dad having near panic attacks when the bell rings, I'm afraid one of them is going to stroke out one of these days..yes, it is that bad....

At one point, I had a sign on the door 'please don't ring bell'..and the mailman didn't...but having the sign 'bothered' my OCD dad..even though this is not his house.....don't ask, lol..(fun stuff....) and besides, having that sign sometimes was a 'bad' thing......*sigh*......

What can I say to the mailman to make tactfully this point....? I feel like he should know better, but guess not or maybe he 'has' to ring the bell..? Interestingly enough, there's been days when we had a different mail person, and they didn't ring the bell......

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@msh8970. Can't you just tell him the doorbell upsets your dad so you would prefer that he not ring unless he needs a signature? Doesn't seem too complicated.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

Just be upfront and honest with the mailman. No need to be coy, or anything.

Just say, "Could you please not ring the doorbell? It upsets the dog and my dad."

Simple.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

Snowhite714 · ‎06-30-2014

@msh8970 wrote:
We have a regular mailman and overall he is really good..But when there is a package, he always rings the doorbell....Now, this sends the dog into complete orbit..and also sends my 88 year old father into panic mode (he suffers from PTSD and early dementia). The mailman knows we have a dog obviously, and knows my elderly father lives here, and I'm sure the mailman hears the dog going crazy as well as the 88 year old man 'screaming' inside the house...I've seen him chuckle to himself a couple times as he walks away..Which kind of surprises me, because I know he and his wife are both dog lovers (he's talked about his dogs before)..I would think he would 'get' that he doesn't need to ring the bell.....it's not like he's waiting for a signature or anything, plus he knows somebody is always home 99% of the time....and it might sound crazy, but between the dog going crazy and my dad having near panic attacks when the bell rings, I'm afraid one of them is going to stroke out one of these days..yes, it is that bad....

At one point, I had a sign on the door 'please don't ring bell'..and the mailman didn't...but having the sign 'bothered' my OCD dad..even though this is not his house.....don't ask, lol..(fun stuff....) and besides, having that sign sometimes was a 'bad' thing......*sigh*......

What can I say to the mailman to make tactfully this point....? I feel like he should know better, but guess not or maybe he 'has' to ring the bell..? Interestingly enough, there's been days when we had a different mail person, and they didn't ring the bell......

@msh8970 @Anonymous032819 @Kachina624 I agree with the other posters, just be upfront. But if you'd like please send me your mailman. We could use a mailman that rings the doorbell when there's a delivery. We'd welcome him with open arms, but again I do understand your situation and imagine it must be quite annoying. Hope it all works out.

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

I would tell him you appreciate him ringing the doorbell when he delivers the mail but because it disturbs the dog and your elderly father who is ill, to please not do it anymore. If he continues to do it after you asked him not to, your next step is to go to your local post office and advise them of the situation. Write the date and time you apprised the mailman on your calendar, always keep a record of things like that. Good luck.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

PinkMomi · ‎03-20-2010

Maybe disconnecting your doorbell will help. Would anyone knocking bother Dad or dog?

msh8970 · ‎02-06-2017

@PinkMomi wrote:
Maybe disconnecting your doorbell will help. Would anyone knocking bother Dad or dog?

Knocking still sets them both off..not as badly as the doorbell, but they still both react to knocking on the door..I do try and 'catch' people before the ring or knock (the dog usually hears/senses them coming before they even ring or knock) to avoid the knocking or ringing bell, but sometimes I can't be/am not close to the door..Now, the mailman..dad gets things in the mail delivered often as do me and the hubby..so the mailman has to ring our bell often......bless his heart for doing it, but, yes, I suppose as a couple posters have said, just a casual 'hey, the dog and my elderly father are both very reactive to the doorbell and knocking, so unless something requires a signature, can you please refrain from ringing the doorbell or knocking..? I'd really appreciate it..'

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

I look at it this way. I pay to have my mail and packages delivered. It's nice he rings your bell to alert you of his delivery, mine doesn't, but if he is doing something that annoys me, I'd politely ask him not to do it anymore and tell him why.

I'm sure he will be very nice about it and understand.

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@msh8970 wrote:
We have a regular mailman and overall he is really good..But when there is a package, he always rings the doorbell....Now, this sends the dog into complete orbit..and also sends my 88 year old father into panic mode (he suffers from PTSD and early dementia). The mailman knows we have a dog obviously, and knows my elderly father lives here, and I'm sure the mailman hears the dog going crazy as well as the 88 year old man 'screaming' inside the house...I've seen him chuckle to himself a couple times as he walks away..Which kind of surprises me, because I know he and his wife are both dog lovers (he's talked about his dogs before)..I would think he would 'get' that he doesn't need to ring the bell.....it's not like he's waiting for a signature or anything, plus he knows somebody is always home 99% of the time....and it might sound crazy, but between the dog going crazy and my dad having near panic attacks when the bell rings, I'm afraid one of them is going to stroke out one of these days..yes, it is that bad....

At one point, I had a sign on the door 'please don't ring bell'..and the mailman didn't...but having the sign 'bothered' my OCD dad..even though this is not his house.....don't ask, lol..(fun stuff....) and besides, having that sign sometimes was a 'bad' thing......*sigh*......

What can I say to the mailman to make tactfully this point....? I feel like he should know better, but guess not or maybe he 'has' to ring the bell..? Interestingly enough, there's been days when we had a different mail person, and they didn't ring the bell......

@msh8970 As foreign as it might sound, employees are not paid to think these days, they are paid to do the task that's been assigned. IMO, it's pretty sad, but it's how things have become nonetheless. How many times have there been stories on the news about someone thinking and acting proactively to intervene in a bad situation only to end up losing their job because they acted outside of their job description or violated some company policy in the process? Ringing the bell is probably part of the delivery protocol your carrier has been trained to do. If he didn't ring the bell someone else would complain that their package sat out on the porch too long and got too hot, froze, or was soaked from rain because they weren't alerted. That said, you can't expect him to assume anything. If you don't want your letter carrier to ring the bell, wait and meet him at the door today and tell him that so he can officially document it. Just say what you did here, the dog goes berserk and it upsets your elderly father. It's not that big of a deal but if it creates too much awkwardness for you, you can call the postmaster and ask him/her to tell your carrier. However, understand that once you do this you can't fault him if any of your deliveries are damaged or compromised in any way from sitting on your porch too long and you may have to pick up certain things from the post office yourself, if they need a signature.