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Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,877
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

@CrazyKittyLvr2 @That seems to be inconsiderate.You might just have to be harsh if you are serious about not wanting company for a bit after surgery.Tell her no company until you call first and thanks for loving me enough to respect my wishes.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 195
Registered: ‎12-11-2010

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

@CrazyKittyLvr2 

 

I would just reiterate to her you appreciate her offer and say that you know we are all different and some may want company while they heal, but you have the help you need and you mostly just want to be able to rest and relax and have quiet time to heal.  I would just be firm.  And could tell her that when you are better, you both can enjoy a visit.  Something along those lines.  Just my 2 cents worth.  Anytime I have needed time to heal, I am better with fewer people around.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,037
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

@dex   Yeah, when she overides her DD w/the kids I cringe.  I don't have grandchildren but my theory is unless they are in danger of being hurt "butt out".

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,913
Registered: ‎09-15-2016

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

If I'm reading your thread correctly you already told her politely not to come so you'll have go be blunt...don't ask her not to come just tell her NO not now. There's nothing wrong with that & don't feel guilty about it...I wish you well @CrazyKittyLvr2.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,325
Registered: ‎03-08-2014

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

She sounds like someone who will not take "NO" for an answer.  She also sounds like someone who needs to be needed.  This is a horrible solution but...have you considered telling her a little fib?  You could say they changed your plans and it looks like you will be going to in-patient rehab for a period of time to take full advantage of physical therapy and build your mobility at your own speed.  You don't know where or for how long yet.  You will keep her posted on your progress.  You have been told you will be very busy in PT/OT or likely sleepy & resting between sessions but will let her know more about your needs once you know yourself.  You are entitled to recover on your own terms.

Snarky responders need not reply. Move along and share your views elsewhere.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,888
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

Count your blessings.   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,237
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

She's your sister, I think you already know there's nothing you can say to stop her.  Perhaps you DD can call her and be honest with her in loving way.  You will have someone with you,  you won't feel like entertaing and socializing that first week or two (and that is the truth).  Also, you will have a lot to do and adjustments to make.  You will be icing that knee frequently throughout the day; getting to and from the bathroom might be project while you have the bulky dressing on (it was for me); the first few days the anesthesia is still wearing off and you'll be resting and napping.  I had the VNA nurse come in every day the first week and the PT and OT therapist came in 3 times a week for the first three weeks which means one of them was there every day.  Maybe your daughter can explain all that to her in a loving way and suggest let her know that they have everything covered and she can hold off on visiting until you have settled in.  I'll be hones, I really didn't want an visitors until I was off the walker and walking with a cane.  Not counting the 4 days I was in the hospital; that was week 3 after I discharged.  I was mobile, I was adjusted to everything and I felt like mysef again and by that time, I was ready for some company.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,037
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

I have noticed she is worse with the being "bossy" (for lack of a better phrase) since she retired earlier this year.  She isn't thrilled with not getting out among people everyday.  I'm the opposite, I love it.   My DD thinks everyone else has become her projects.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,368
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

Wishing you the best with your upcoming surgery.  So much drama in your life will not be conducive to a productive rehabilitation.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,745
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: How to politely decline an offer of help.

[ Edited ]

@CrazyKittyLvr2 I wish you all the best.

 

People like your sister do not respond to polite. Be non polite and tell her not to come until YOU are ready and YOU will let her know when that is.

 

And have your DD's tell her the same. If she shows up, say sorry everything is covered.

 

NO WAY should you put up with that.