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Super Contributor
Posts: 2,442
Registered: ‎06-28-2013

How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

Actually, a book by an author seemingly fluent in "LOLcats-speak" (as in "I can has cheezburger?").

Enjoy this funny & clever beginning... {#emotions_dlg.biggrin}

LOLCat_Bible.jpg (231Ă—325)

/></p> <p id= Ceiling Cat creats teh universes and stuffs

Genesis 1

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.

11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.

14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.

20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.

24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.

26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.

27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.

28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.

29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.

31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.

Super Contributor
Posts: 5,837
Registered: ‎03-01-2013

Re: How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

I thought there was already a thread about a cat had their kittens That has been going on for years......do we really need another thread? Or just post this under the PET category . Enough cat threads.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,680
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

That's cute!!

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,245
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

Re: How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

I get a kick out of lolspeak and think this is a riot, although this particular post will undoubtedly offend some.

Whenever my cats come over to me I say "Oh hai." {#emotions_dlg.laugh}

Super Contributor
Posts: 4,222
Registered: ‎06-23-2013

Re: How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

I find cat speak to be very difficult to read. I give up. It's not funny when it's work.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,549
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

Re: How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

On 5/11/2014 gazelle77 said: I thought there was already a thread about a cat had their kittens That has been going on for years......do we really need another thread? Or just post this under the PET category . Enough cat threads.

Dis' is a gazelle daring to tell a Feline how to act? Where's the big cat when you need her?

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,245
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

Re: How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

On 5/11/2014 Preds said:
On 5/11/2014 gazelle77 said: I thought there was already a thread about a cat had their kittens That has been going on for years......do we really need another thread? Or just post this under the PET category . Enough cat threads.

Dis' is a gazelle daring to tell a Feline how to act? Where's the big cat when you need her?

Ah, she's just a sourpuss.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,549
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

Re: How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

On 5/11/2014 focksie said:
On 5/11/2014 Preds said:
On 5/11/2014 gazelle77 said: I thought there was already a thread about a cat had their kittens That has been going on for years......do we really need another thread? Or just post this under the PET category . Enough cat threads.

Dis' is a gazelle daring to tell a Feline how to act? Where's the big cat when you need her?

Ah, she's just a sourpuss.

I think you are right!


Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

On 5/11/2014 Preds said:
On 5/11/2014 gazelle77 said: I thought there was already a thread about a cat had their kittens That has been going on for years......do we really need another thread? Or just post this under the PET category . Enough cat threads.

Dis' is a gazelle daring to tell a Feline how to act? Where's the big cat when you need her?

Agreed. She is entitled to her opinion (figured I would say it before she did)

What she doesn't seem to realize is..we don't care

ETA I love it Sista Feline

It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our mission to arrange the meeting. U.S. Marines
Super Contributor
Posts: 2,442
Registered: ‎06-28-2013

Re: How the Universe Was Made - According to Kittehs ;-)

On 5/11/2014 focksie said:

I get a kick out of lolspeak and think this is a riot, although this particular post will undoubtedly offend some.

Whenever my cats come over to me I say "Oh hai." {#emotions_dlg.laugh}

{#emotions_dlg.biggrin}

And when they do something you asked of them, all the while pretending that it was their hooman's idea, do you then say ""Kthxbai"? Wink

I really enjoy the language as well, and can't help if some don't have a sense of humor; it's not a derogatory parody nor would I post if it was.