Community Chat

[PinkPagoda]

I could not help but notice the other night when out with my man (we are both in our 50s) that he could not seem to take his eyes off of a woman near us who was dressed in workout wear and who had a very nice figure. While I understand that 'all men look' and 'it's a guy thing', it seemed to me that it was more than a passing glance on his part, and it only stopped when he saw me looking in her direction since he was obviously staring at her. I said nothing, and continued to check my grocery list for what other items I needed, and he then became more attentive to me and even tried to kiss me in the middle of the store, since he probably sensed that I saw what had happened and was probably trying to do damage control before I blew a fuse. I tried to act normal like nothing happened and succeeded since he still doesn't know how much it hurt and upset me. I don't want to start a fight over it especially if by now he has forgotten her which is most likely the case, yet I sure don't want to feel like this again any time soon.

My question is this: How do you ladies handle this hurtful behaviour without making it a bigger problem that it is? I don't want to make him feel guilty for being a man, yet at the same time I wish he knew how hurtful seeing this stuff is to me. A passing glance is one thing, but obvious staring is quite another, and I make sure I don't do that to him when I see an attractive man nearby since I know how much it hurts.

This is slowly causing me to shut down with him since I am so hurt and it makes me feel like he is shopping for a replacement for me. Crazy I know, but I feel if he were as happy with me as he says he is, then why the need to do that in the first place? It felt disrespectful to our relationship and really made me start to question whether or not he is truly happy with me physically.

I know he loves me since he constantly tells me that he is madly in love with me, that he can't believe he is with 'such a prize' and that he'll never know what I see in him. I love him too, and want the relationship to continue to grow, but at the same time, I can't deal with this for the rest of my lifetime.

Any advice or helpful guidance would be most appreciated!