How do you get over an ex-husband?? - Page 8

HULAGIRL · ‎03-10-2010

On 2/18/2015 CouponQueen said:
On 2/18/2015 hulagirl said:
While "dating" him, have you also been sleeping with him, too?? This adds a whole new emotional attachment that you haven't disclosed in this post and is another good reason you can't get on with things in your own life.

I don't think she said the relationship continued in that aspect or at least I didn't take it that way.

I know she didn't say that...........that is why I asked her the question. That would be pretty important if she left it out in explaining her relationship with him right now. It would add another dimension to the whole situation.

Lion · ‎03-09-2010

Lots of good & wise advice here. I can't add much more except to say that you have to be happy and content with *yourself* and not depend on a man to fulfill you.

There are no guarantees that you'll find someone else, and you already know there are no guarantees that you'll always have someone else by your side.

I've always loved this poem. I hope you find it helpful.

"Comes The Dawn"

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

Author - Veronica Shoffstall

**********
"The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself."
- Augustine

Be Vigilent

MickD · ‎03-10-2010

.....hire a hit man......

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.... ~ S & G

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

On 2/18/2015 hulagirl said:
On 2/18/2015 CouponQueen said:
On 2/18/2015 hulagirl said:
While "dating" him, have you also been sleeping with him, too?? This adds a whole new emotional attachment that you haven't disclosed in this post and is another good reason you can't get on with things in your own life.

I don't think she said the relationship continued in that aspect or at least I didn't take it that way.

I know she didn't say that...........that is why I asked her the question. That would be pretty important if she left it out in explaining her relationship with him right now. It would add another dimension to the whole situation.

No she didn't "say" that but I'd bet my last dollar that it was a "ex's with benefits" type of friendship and that's one reason why seeing him with a real girlfriend hurts her so much. It's a situation that is not at all uncommon with divorced people. It does make the moving on that much harder.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

I don't think I would handle divorce too well.

twocent · ‎03-09-2010

Oh my, cut the cord !!!

Look to someone else for your lunches, shopping trips, etc. Cut the daily phone calls. Can't you remember how you felt when he cheated on you? And three times???????? ${#emotions_dlg.ohmy}$ You deserve so much better , than you are allowing yourself to "settle for !"

When you think of her in "your kitchen," take yourself back to how it "really was," when you were in that kitchen. Do you really envy her ? It is a probability that if this progresses to marriage , she will face the same issues with him - the cheating and betrayal , the lies.

When you think of your kitchen, you are making what use to be , into something it really wasn't. You are divorced for a reason. Make new memories . You are allowing your perception of what you had with him, turn into what you wish it had been, not what it was.

Find someone who will value you. Someone is out there, waiting to cherish you. Let go. Smile Cut that cord!

You'll find my heart at the Rainbow Bridge.

raven-blackbird · ‎06-03-2010

On 2/18/2015 twocent said:
Oh my, cut the cord !!!

Look to someone else for your lunches, shopping trips, etc. Cut the daily phone calls. Can't you remember how you felt when he cheated on you? And three times???????? ${#emotions_dlg.ohmy}$ You deserve so much better , than you are allowing yourself to "settle for !"

When you think of her in "your kitchen," take yourself back to how it "really was," when you were in that kitchen. Do you really envy her ? It is a probability that if this progresses to marriage , she will face the same issues with him - the cheating and betrayal , the lies.

When you think of your kitchen, you are making what use to be , into something it really wasn't. You are divorced for a reason. Make new memories . You are allowing your perception of what you had with him, turn into what you wish it had been, not what it was.

Find someone who will value you. Someone is out there, waiting to cherish you. Let go. Cut that cord!

straight forward..........to the point.........and some really good advise ${#emotions_dlg.thumbup1}$ ...............raven

We're not in Kansas anymore ToTo

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

Your thoughts and feelings are normal. You don't get past a relationship that long, with the connections of still parenting kids, and not have some feelings for and about the other person. And that was your house, and your life at one time, and it is hard to see someone else step into what was yours.

I like that you still get along well enough to do things without the kids, and I think there is a level of maturity in that.

I haven't read all responses, but I would think if you had someone in your life, this might not bother you as much. And perhaps as the kids get older, you and he should see less of each other outside of family gatherings/kid's events, and you should try and move on, but it will take time, and baby steps to kind of drift away from being together so much. I also wouldn't put it past him to like the fact that you know and are bothered by the new woman, so if it were me, I'd not let him or my kids know that I noticed or cared about her being in his life.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

...he is using you in a sense...calling and seeing you thru the week and has the new girl on the weekends, he has the best of both worlds...he's no dummy, I would be friendly but not communicate with him except for issues with the kids.

KittyLouSoutenu · ‎02-15-2015

On 2/18/2015 lulu2 said:
What a prince. He used your hotel account so you could earn points while he shacked up with his girlfriend?

Be thankful he's your EX.

Another word comes to mind that starts with a P.

What a krappy thing to do.