How do you get over an ex-husband?? - Page 6

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

I get the vibe, from your last post (#41), that you need to get to a point where you like yourself. That is where you will start to heal and move on.

If you have the need to be with others all the time, that's not a good thing. Learn to like being with YOU and you will make better decisions. Being alone doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Like somebody else already said, sure it's difficult. Life is difficult. But sometimes we have to just stop stewing in it and get out of the hole. That is the first best thing that will help you be happy. You need to find ways, within yourself, to be happy, not from others.

sophiamarie · ‎08-08-2013

You know what Dr. Phil would say:

"If he cheated on you, he'll cheat on her"........

KittyLouSoutenu · ‎02-15-2015

Whether or not he cheats on the new girlfriend is irrelevant. It doesn't concern you anymore. Unless you keep letting it concern you.

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

You shouldn't have had any relationship with him at all beyond what was absolutely necessary. Since you've basically been dating him since your divorce, it's normal for you to feel jealous, upset, sad, mad, etc....whatever your feelings are. The best thing you can do for yourself now is to let him go cold turkey as they say. Stop all unnecessary communication. And get interested in activities with other friends, male, female, whatever. Yes, it'll be hard, but it's the only way. Sadly, if you had done this earlier, you'd be in a much better place right now as far as this goes. But you can still do it. You can walk through this and let it all go. ETA: don't hesitate to seek out the help of a counselor or therapist to help you through this if you need it. Sometimes just talking this out with an objective person can help a lot.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

LucyGoose · ‎04-20-2012

Why did you even divorce him if you still go out to dinner and shopping with him, and talk to him on the phone during the week? I'm sure it's complicated and there's always more to a story.... I haven't read any of this thread yet, so I have to go back and read it.

All I know is when my first husband and I divorced, I had nothing else to do with him (except where the child was concerned).

goodstuff · ‎03-09-2010

I agree with several others. While it's good that you and your husband stay on polite, even cordial terms for the sake of your grown children, you need to stop "dating" this man! You've been divorced for years. The marriage is over. This man is your ex husband and clearly has moved on to a new romantic interest. Maybe he stays in touch out of familiarity, habit, or guilt......but there is no good reason for the two of you to be chatting on the phone every day, going out to dinner weekly, and keeping up a regular social life together! You're disrespecting yourself by giving him so much of your time and attention while he is pursuing a romance with his new girlfriend!

I'd strongly advise you to cultivate new friendships, activities, and interests of your own. Don't keep up the weekly dinner meetings, and stop with the daily phone chats. Be busy and involved with new things. If you stop being needy and available, both of you can freely move on to new things.

melfie · ‎09-28-2014

What have you been doing for yourself since the divorce?

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

It seems you may need some counseling to help you get over this hurdle.

LucyGoose · ‎04-20-2012

On 2/18/2015 qvc chick said:
My daughter was in her last yr of high school, so I could not switch towns.

My son was over his house, and he was the one that told me she was there, cooking dinner and about the balloons.

He also booked a hotel room for the two of them (Val day weekend) and used my Hotel account number so they sent me an email telling me of the reservation. When asked why he booked it under my acct #, he said he wanted me to earn the points for the stay.

Weird!!

Uh-uh!!! That is Weird-O-Rama!!! I would almost find that insulting. No, uh-uh.... it's like he's rubbing it in your face. That's how I would take it! No, he had no reason to use any of your account numbers for anything! That wasn't just weird, that was creepy.

HULAGIRL · ‎03-10-2010

While "dating" him, have you also been sleeping with him, too?? This adds a whole new emotional attachment that you haven't disclosed in this post and is another good reason you can't get on with things in your own life.