How do you feel about your child's boyfriend/girlf... - Page 9

PenneyT · ‎02-27-2015

I wonder what the girlfriend thinks of the OP?

Irshgrl31201 · ‎03-18-2010

I got lucky, I really adore my son in law. He couldn't fit in better with our family if we all chose him ourselves. He does a lot of things he doesn't have to do. He is coming over here tonight to help tutor me with my new phone and show me all it can do and all the features it has. He is a techie but has a way of explaining things that make it easier for me to use and easier for me to remember. He is funny and has a great sense of humour that fits in with ours, as we like sick dry wit. Most of all though, he treats my daughter and grandson very very well.

I did not care for my daughters last boyfriend very much. He treated her fine. He just wasn't a good match for her. He was just the type of guy without any type of ambition to better his life. He always did just the bare minimum. I never told her how I felt because unless he was a abusive or demeaning to her or other members of our family, I think it is best to keep that to yourself. Thankfully that one ran its course and she found her husband.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

Our son had a few girlfriends in high school. It's hard to remember but for the most part I liked them.

He began dating our DIL when they were sophomores in college and were married right after graduation. I love her to death as she is the mother of our Grands and she is the love of our son's life. That being said, I do not always like her. (I'm sure she feels the same about me) She is the youngest of a large, wealthy family and was spoiled rotten. When you are accustom to getting everything you've ever wanted, it is sometimes difficult to lose that trait!

NJgirl 1205 · ‎02-22-2014

@PenneyT wrote:
I wonder what the girlfriend thinks of the OP?

LOL my son told me she loved us, but what is she going to say. I said the same to him about her.... We are all smart enough to do and say the right things. Ultimately it is about respect, civility and acceptance. I am thrilled that my son is happy and that's all that really matters. I am hopeful love will come but if not, that's ok too.

NJgirl 1205 · ‎02-22-2014

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
@NJgirl 1205 What is it exactly about this girl that you dislike?

You know, that's a good question! There is absolutely nothing that I dislike, per se., like I said, she is a perfectly nice girl . You know how sometimes you meet people and you immediately like them and are drawn to them, and with others it's just not there. My own unrealistic expectations. I know. Sounds silly.

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@NJgirl 1205 I don't think it sounds silly. You want to love your future DIL, that is an admirable goal, IMHO.

NJgirl 1205 · ‎02-22-2014

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
@NJgirl 1205 I don't think it sounds silly. You want to love your future DIL, that is an admirable goal, IMHO.

Yes, I do very badly!!

They live in a different city and I will be there on business next week. We plan to have a casual dinner out in a nice restaurant -just the 3 of us. We should all be more relaxed now that the first meeting is over. Hopefully we will wam up to each other... I will report back:-)

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Demitra1 wrote:
My daughter is my only child. She married a couple of years ago when she and he were in their late 30s. She is a strong, independent, and successful woman. For several years, I was fortunate to not have to share her for holidays and visits, as she stayed single a long time.

I, like you OP, had always imagined a lovely relationship with a son-in-law. I prayed for years that since my daughter was an only child, that she would fall in love with a guy with a big close family. Check and check!

Only trouble is, he has no use for me...could not care less about having a relationship with me or my DH. I was very distraught at first, but I have made my peace with it now. My daughter doesn't appear to notice and to be fair, a lot of his insulting behavior was not done necessarily in her presence. I might add, it has never been blatant behavior, but things I have picked up on. I even thought I was maybe being too paranoid, but nope, it is what it is. He is really successful in his career, so he apparently KNOWS how to interact with people. He just doesn't see a need to get close to us. It's like he HAS a family.....no need to include more people.

They live several hours away, so I don't see him regularly. He doesn't realize that he could not have a less intrusive mother-in-law than me. I've never mentioned a word to my daughter about how insulted he has made me feel. I would rather she be annoyed with me than him. For example, when I visit, I leave earlier than expected when he is around, or I only visit when he is away for business, She doesn't understand why.

I am am glad to be able to see my daughter and grandchild, but the illusion of being a close family is not working out. One poster mentioned about having a daughter all of your life, but a son only until he takes a wife.....well, it has turned out to be just the opposite for me, unfortunately.

Bottom line, if he is good to my daughter and grandchild, that's what's most important. Just sad for me.

@Demitra1

I am so sorry .... but the question just begs to be asked ..... what is his family like? How does your daughter feel about them?