Community Chat

[croemer]

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@Shanus wrote:

Certainly you don't think your relative will know you're at the funeral, so show your love while it counts. 

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My answer as well.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@SahmIam wrote:

@goldensrbest  My grandmother died knowing that only 3 people in the family gave a ****** about her. Why is that? Because she suffered for 7 months (Hospice involved) with cancer and NOT ONE of her 12 children, 50 plus grandchildren, 15 plus great grandchildren or great-great grandchildren came to see her before she died. In fact, most of them hadn't seen her for years prior to being sick.

But you better believe they had their hands out for their share of the pie after the funeral. Disgusting.

So, to answer your question: Yes, they should BEFORE the person dies.

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@SahmIam 

For that many people to deliberately avoid her, there must be much more to that story.   Was she a very difficult person to be around?

[Carmie]

If you love someone and want to see them before they pass to say goodbye, then yes..go.

It doesn't make sense to me to go to a funeral after they pass if you have to fly, unless you can afford it and/or it is important that you do so.

If you can only afford one trip, see your loved on while they are alive.

[Georgiagrama]

If you have known and loved this person during your lifetime, go now. Let them know that you love them. It will be your only chance.

To me, the funeral is about paying respect to the family.  Acknowledging their grief. If you can't attend, you can send a card.

[MyShadowLove]

@hckynut ...Thanks so much for your kind sentiments....In reading your story, I will share that my husband's brother didn't tell anyone in the family about his cancer until he was near the end...As in your sister's case, we can only respect their wishes and their choices to handle their situations in the way that was most comfortable for them...It may have been a way for them to emotionally deal better with their challenging situations without bringing too much attention from everyone which may have made it more difficult for them....Just something that came to mind.

I am so sorry that you didn't have a chance to share some special time with your sister before she passed away; however, I hope that you find comfort in knowing that perhaps she just wanted your memories of her to be those before the terrible illness took its toll on her...So cherish that last conversation that you had with her and know it is the way she wanted it to be.

Sending my sentiments and ((((((Hugs))))))

[SahmIam]

@Tinkrbl44 Just the opposite. However, wealth, greed and narcissism plays a huge roll in my family (as well as drugs and booze). Difficult for many to understand; vultures wait for the kill and then they move in. It played a big part as to why I walked away from the Family decades ago.

[conlt]

I would go to see them. I wish I had went to see my Uncle Bill before he passed. I just could not because of work.