How Do You Handle a Friend Who Constantly Interrup... - Page 6

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

@GenXmuse wrote:
I've told interrupters "Let me finish this thought real quick otherwise I'll forget what I wanted to say," to just put it on myself and not an outright rebuke.

@GenXmuse,

That is a very kind way to say it

Also like @paixmcdao said she could have ADHD.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

HisElk1 · ‎09-29-2015

@occasionalrain wrote:
@Effie54

She isn't the one canceling, her husband is and using her as the reason. More likely, he's controlling and isolating her. A friend would double her effort, not abandon her.

@occasionalrain , just to be clear, my friend whose husband called twice to cancel told me that she wasn't feeling well both times. Before he hung up, I asked him to have her call me after she was feeling better and I never received a call. Either way, I have no idea whether it's him controlling her or if she just didn't want to talk. At this stage, years later, I am not going to try to call her and I don't even have her phone number anyore. I did reach out to her via facebook in a personal message about how she is doing, though she puts her whole life on it. I received a message 3 days later and it was an update all about her, though she never once asked about how I am.

kindred cats · ‎04-04-2020

@maximillian .. OMG, did you read my post???

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

She doesn't sound insecure to me, she sounds lonely. Perhaps she doesn't have a lot of social contacts. Since you've all known each other for so long, you should stop her when she interrups. Politely. My sister has a habit interrupting people mod sentence. It's aggravating. When she does it to me, I say. Alice, please let me finish what I was saying and then you can speak. And she does because the interrupting isn't a conscious choice. As for her talking about her loneliness. Good grief, if the.woman can't talk about her feelings with friends she's know for 50 years, who the bleep can she talk too. It's not like you meet weekly. Have some compassion and remember, as the years go by you might find yourself alone and you might need to talk to your friends.

.

maximillian · ‎03-12-2010

@kindred cats

i just went back and found it. We are "on the same page." The constant interrupting MUST be a job requirement to get a job as a host. Polite people do not need to apply.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@JeanLouiseFinch Since you have known this woman and say she is a kind person, I'm assuming you know each other fairly well. Would it be possible for the two of you to have lunch together and address this problem with her alone and not in front of the others?

Be empathetic to her problems. Maybe she needs one good friend. She probably doesn't have many if she talks over everyone and has been in the habit of doing it for many years. If she really is the type that thinks she is always right....that is a different story. In that case it's each person's right whether or not to continue the relationship. Some people can take that and some can't. I have an aquaintance in my life that is like that and is always right. I limit how much time I spend with that person.

Also,I don't necessarily think that a person who is "always right" is a kind person. They may do kind things at times but most truely kind people I know don't think they are always right!

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@jubilant wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch Since you have known this woman and say she is a kind person, I'm assuming you know each other fairly well. Would it be possible for the two of you to have lunch together and address this problem with her alone and not in front of the others?

Be empathetic to her problems. Maybe she needs one good friend. She probably doesn't have many if she talks over everyone and has been in the habit of doing it for many years. If she really is the type that thinks she is always right....that is a different story. In that case it's each person's right whether or not to continue the relationship. Some people can take that and some can't. I have an aquaintance in my life that is like that and is always right. I limit how much time I spend with that person.
Also,I don't necessarily think that a person who is "always right" is a kind person. They may do kind things at times but most truely kind people I know don't think they are always right!

@jubilant Thank you for your thoughtful opinion. Getting together with her is probably unlikely. She still works so our group brunch requires her to take a day off work. I live a little over an hour from where we all meet. She is such a Nervous Nellie about driving too far from home that even asking her to meet me halfway on a Saturday would get her all wound up,

It's not that she thinks she's always right. It's that she doesn't listen because she's too busy anticipating where a story or thought is going and she inserts herself to say what she thinks the other person is about to say. As for her lot in life, I do feel sorry for her. Her husband was a total jerk. She took the berating and humiliation until her kids were able to get out on their own. I don't know that he ever got physical but it wouldn't surprise me. It seems to never fail, when we all get together, the conversations always turn to how bad he was, her wanting to meet someone, should she join dating sites, every detail of how bad things are, etc. I understand being a sounding board for a friend, but every time we're together? I feel bad for her but it gets really exhausting. Nobody wants to be the one to say anything and hurt her, but I did tell one of the other women that I would like to arrange our own lunch sometime so she and I would get to speak and catch up.

Effie54 · ‎09-08-2010

@Desert Lily wrote:
@QVCkitty1 Effie54 had advised ostracizing the lonely woman, "eliminate her from the the group" for talking too much. Effie54 made reference to a radio personality who she said advises it.

Ostracizing would be cruelty to the lonely woman.

OMG - you're kidding, right??! I guess it takes all kinds!!

Effie54 · ‎09-08-2010

@Desert Lily wrote:
@Effie54 The OP stated that her "friend" has been alone since her divorce and has discussed her loneliness. It's in the original post; that's how I know the woman is lonely.

The advice from a radio personality is awful and would serve only to cause the woman more pain.

My view of such cruelty isn't going to change.

No problem. You can put up with whatever. Some of us see it differently.

Effie54 · ‎09-08-2010

@HisElk1 wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
@Effie54

She isn't the one canceling, her husband is and using her as the reason. More likely, he's controlling and isolating her. A friend would double her effort, not abandon her.
@occasionalrain wrote:
@Effie54

She isn't the one canceling, her husband is and using her as the reason. More likely, he's controlling and isolating her. A friend would double her effort, not abandon her.
@occasionalrain , just to be clear, my friend whose husband called twice to cancel told me that she wasn't feeling well both times. Before he hung up, I asked him to have her call me after she was feeling better and I never received a call. Either way, I have no idea whether it's him controlling her or if she just didn't want to talk. At this stage, years later, I am not going to try to call her and I don't even have her phone number anyore. I did reach out to her via facebook in a personal message about how she is doing, though she puts her whole life on it. I received a message 3 days later and it was an update all about her, though she never once asked about how I am.

Right....exactly. I understand what you're saying. There is no way to know whether it was the husband who didn't want to go, or the wife who put him up to it. The fact that she never called you back, or got back to you is s clue. That type of person (lonely or not) makes everything about them. Some on here can say it's mean (it's not).....it's what we are not willing to tolerate and socialize with.